Pony pals

Pony pals

Hi all, this is my 1st story, plz comment what you thought. I don't care how bad you criticise me it will all help with my next book... Enjoy. P.s. this is my fan made story, it is not MLP. P.p.s. the pictures aren't any of my horses. I also use some pictures from MLP:FIM and these pictures are hasbros.

published on July 30, 2013completed

Mixed emotion

Mixed emotion Rainbow is laying in the hospital bed, a new mare is put in the bed beside his. She has no mane or tail (well a little stump for a tail) she looks around the room, as she glances over to him Rainbow smiles, the mare smiles back. Rainbow has no mane or tail, and is vary pale. Rainbow clears his throat, "hello ma'am, your looking lovely today." The mare blushes and shyly replies, "w-well, thank y-you. What s-stage are you a-at." Rainbow tries to hide his sorrow as he replies, "stage 4." What about you ma'am." The mare sees his sorrow, she replies, "only stage 3." They chat for a few hours, then  Sweetiepie(they introduce each other during there long talk) continues, "have you got any family." Rainbow nods and replies, "I have a beautiful wife, Raincloud. 2 kids. A filly, Snow star. A young stallion, Flash. A daughter-in-law Daisy. And  two grandfowls; a filly, Daffodil. And a colt Flame." After Rainbow daydreams about them he soon snaps back and asks. "What about you ma'am." The mares head droops, "I don't have any family. When I was just a wee filly, my mother died, I never knew my father. I had a filly of m own, but I had to give her away, I was only a young mare then." Rainbow feels sorry, he asks. "What does your daughter look like." The mares eyes look deep into Raimbow's eyes, "she brownish orange, with a pinkish purple mane and grape eyes, i left her in Maneton at the hall." Rainbows eyes light up and he presses his nurse button. The nurse comes in, "yes Mr. Pegasy." Rainbow replies, "may I have the phone please." The nurse nods and gives him the phone. "Hello Lilly, it's Rainbowflash." *The mare dozes off* ...... "I was wondering if you could bring scootaloo to see me." ... "Iv just got a surprise for her." ..... "Ok, see you soon, bye."

*5 minutes later*

Scootaloo and the princess arrive. The princess quietly speaks, "so what's scootaloo's surprise." Scootaloo goes to visit the other patients in the room next room. Rainbowflash smiles, "see that mare next to me." The princess nods, Rainbow continues. "We'll she matches up to scootaloo's Mother." The princess looks at the mare then replies, "if she is her mother, then at lest she has a good reason to leave her."
The mare wakes up, she looks at Rainbowflash Shen smiles, her smile half drops when she sees the princess. Rainbow says "Sweetie pie, this is Princess Lilly, I was on the phone to her 5 minutes ago." Scootaloo walks back in after visiting other patients. Sweetie pie looks at the filly, "that, that filly look, looks like Scootaloo." Scootaloo goes up to the mare, "how do you know my name." Sweetie pie smiles "I had a filly named scootaloo, but I had her at a young age, and I couldn't afford to keep her due to... This. So I left her at Maneton hall." Scootaloo gasps, "my mother left me there."

The princess closes the curtain and whispers to Rainbowflashes, "I believe you have found her mother, good work." The nurse enters the room, pulls back the curtain and is surprised to see the princess, princess, "what are you doing here" Princess Lilly replies, "6 or so minutes ago Rainbowflashes rang me." About that mare over there." The nurse sees sweetie pie hug a little filly. "Even with what's happening to you, you still put others before you." Rainbow nods. Scootaloo jumps on Flashes bed and hugs him tightly, "th,thank you. For finding my mother Rainbowflashes." Rainbow just smiles. Scootaloo adds, "I'm sorry about your stage in cancer." Rainbowflashs smiles weekly and replies, "it's ok scootaloo, if I had not got it you would not have Ben reunited wit... Your... Mother." Rainbowflashes then closes his eyes with a peaceful look. The princess and scootaloo beguin to cry, sweeti pie wispers under her breath, "thank you for helping me."

¿The end?
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Comments (23)

Wow, ottimo lavoro
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on December 18, 2013
Thank you
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on September 05, 2013
This was wonderful! I love it!
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on September 05, 2013
Sassymaker100 thank you. Check out Pony Pals: 2
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on August 19, 2013
Very good work bravo:)
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on August 19, 2013
GREAT WORK I <3 IT
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on August 11, 2013
Thank you SparrowClawFan
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on August 08, 2013
Wow this is amazing! I love it!!
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on August 08, 2013
Thank you Primcess_Twilight. I hope you enjoy the next book.
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on August 08, 2013
wow awesome its cool cause its long
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on August 08, 2013
Ah, finally finished! Uploading now...
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on August 04, 2013
I may not finish the book today. I was up late last night watching Jurassic park. I managed to write 1 chapter... Enjoy
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on August 03, 2013
Yay! Can't wait!
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on August 02, 2013
3 to 5 chapters remaining in pony pals. I will add them within 20 hours. I will then add a page called Firestar Stories, feel free to chat to me on there...
Again plz feel free to comment what you think, this is my 1st story so I'd like as much info to help with my next book. ;)
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on August 02, 2013
*ether
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on August 01, 2013
I will be writing the rest. I'm up to where I am. I will post the new chapter/chapters rather Saturday, Sunday, Monday (NZ date)
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on August 01, 2013
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on July 31, 2013
I'm about to add the 5th chapter... Plz comment on what I could do to make tho better and plz rate.
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on July 31, 2013
Thank you DragonFireGirl101:)
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on July 30, 2013
it is a very good story! Ill try to do a review on this ASAP! :D
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on July 30, 2013
This is my own twist to MLP. It's called Pony pals till I find a better name. :)
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on July 30, 2013
You should make more!
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on July 30, 2013
It's Manehatten, not Maneton... BUT IT'S VERY GOOD! I LOVE IT!
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on July 30, 2013