Pony pals

Pony pals

Hi all, this is my 1st story, plz comment what you thought. I don't care how bad you criticise me it will all help with my next book... Enjoy. P.s. this is my fan made story, it is not MLP. P.p.s. the pictures aren't any of my horses. I also use some pictures from MLP:FIM and these pictures are hasbros.

published on July 30, 2013completed

Prologue

(opps I ment to put this 1st. I hope this doesn't affect the story)
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                   Ponycare days
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Flash is looking at a picture book, he soon gets board of it and puts it away. "Good boy Flash" Mr. Hoof praises, "you just earned your 25th cleaning star." Flash smiles and goes to draw. As Flash sits down a filly wines, "My drawing sucks!" Flash walks over to her and looks at the painting and asks, "what's so bad about it." The filly replies "cause the others laughed at it." Flash replies, "it's beautiful. I love the blue sky and the paintbrush cutie mark." The filly looks at him, "you think it's nice." Flash nods, the filly hugs him and trots off to show Mr. Hoof.
Flash sees a new filly come in and goes to greet her. She closes her eyes takes a deep breath, then when she opens her eyes she jumps nearly landing on Mr. Hoof. Flash puts his ears back, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." The filly replies, "it's ok." The filly looks around then continues, "I'm Lilly" flash smiles, "I'm Flash" both kids look at each other then both go outside to play.
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                     School days
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As Flash flies past Lilly's house Lilly calls out. "hey Flash!" And flys next to Flash, flats greets her, "I see you don't have your cutie mark yet." Lilly shakes her head and speaks, "an it's the last day of school."
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Comments (23)

Wow, ottimo lavoro
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on December 18, 2013
Thank you
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on September 05, 2013
This was wonderful! I love it!
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on September 05, 2013
Sassymaker100 thank you. Check out Pony Pals: 2
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on August 19, 2013
Very good work bravo:)
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on August 19, 2013
GREAT WORK I <3 IT
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on August 11, 2013
Thank you SparrowClawFan
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on August 08, 2013
Wow this is amazing! I love it!!
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on August 08, 2013
Thank you Primcess_Twilight. I hope you enjoy the next book.
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on August 08, 2013
wow awesome its cool cause its long
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on August 08, 2013
Ah, finally finished! Uploading now...
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on August 04, 2013
I may not finish the book today. I was up late last night watching Jurassic park. I managed to write 1 chapter... Enjoy
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on August 03, 2013
Yay! Can't wait!
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on August 02, 2013
3 to 5 chapters remaining in pony pals. I will add them within 20 hours. I will then add a page called Firestar Stories, feel free to chat to me on there...
Again plz feel free to comment what you think, this is my 1st story so I'd like as much info to help with my next book. ;)
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on August 02, 2013
*ether
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on August 01, 2013
I will be writing the rest. I'm up to where I am. I will post the new chapter/chapters rather Saturday, Sunday, Monday (NZ date)
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on August 01, 2013
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on July 31, 2013
I'm about to add the 5th chapter... Plz comment on what I could do to make tho better and plz rate.
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on July 31, 2013
Thank you DragonFireGirl101:)
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on July 30, 2013
it is a very good story! Ill try to do a review on this ASAP! :D
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on July 30, 2013
This is my own twist to MLP. It's called Pony pals till I find a better name. :)
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on July 30, 2013
You should make more!
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on July 30, 2013
It's Manehatten, not Maneton... BUT IT'S VERY GOOD! I LOVE IT!
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on July 30, 2013