My dad asked me if I had become a Literacy Leader today, and I said that I didn't. Then he started yelling at me and saying that I don't deserve to be appreciated, and that I'm just too lazy to do anything that will help me in the future. He said that I'm a rubbish writer, and that I should forget about becoming an author or a journalist and going to college because I'll never make it.
But I'm not lazy, I'm depressed and I just don't have the motivation to do anything. And I See More already know everything my dad said to me. I know I'm really bad at writing and that I won't have a future, but for some reason it hurts more when someone else says it to me. :/
But I'm not lazy, I'm depressed and I just don't have the motivation to do anything. And I See More already know everything my dad said to me. I know I'm really bad at writing and that I won't have a future, but for some reason it hurts more when someone else says it to me. :/
on December 09, 2015
Today was a bad day.
In Music, when the teacher was telling us what we were going to be doing, these boys kept ripping up pieces of paper and putting it in my hair. They kept making fun of my hair and poking me, and I actually very nearly had a panic attack because they kept laughing at me. I managed to clam myself down, though.
At lunch, I had to go and visit the pastoral mentor with SkyDoesMinecraft Girl and talk to him about the letter I wrote a few weeks ago telling him See More about some of the things that happen to me. We were about to start talking about it, but then the pastoral mentor had to help two people so we ended up not being able to sort everything out. I was kind of annoyed, but he said that we would talk about it on Friday morning.
In form, all of the people who applied to become a Literacy Leader had to go to the ICT block, because they were choosing who would be the Literacy Leaders. I hadn't given my letter to the teacher, and today was the last day to do it. And I was too scared to go to the ICT block in case I would be sent back to form for not handing in my letter. So I'm probably not going to become a Literacy Leader now, and I'm annoyed about that.
So, yeah. :/
In Music, when the teacher was telling us what we were going to be doing, these boys kept ripping up pieces of paper and putting it in my hair. They kept making fun of my hair and poking me, and I actually very nearly had a panic attack because they kept laughing at me. I managed to clam myself down, though.
At lunch, I had to go and visit the pastoral mentor with SkyDoesMinecraft Girl and talk to him about the letter I wrote a few weeks ago telling him See More about some of the things that happen to me. We were about to start talking about it, but then the pastoral mentor had to help two people so we ended up not being able to sort everything out. I was kind of annoyed, but he said that we would talk about it on Friday morning.
In form, all of the people who applied to become a Literacy Leader had to go to the ICT block, because they were choosing who would be the Literacy Leaders. I hadn't given my letter to the teacher, and today was the last day to do it. And I was too scared to go to the ICT block in case I would be sent back to form for not handing in my letter. So I'm probably not going to become a Literacy Leader now, and I'm annoyed about that.
So, yeah. :/
on December 09, 2015
I just blocked as many people from school as I could find on Instagram, including Human Copy Machine Girl. And I made my Tumblr blog only visible to people with a Tumblr account, so people at school won't find me. I blocked TheDoctorsQueen as well, so she won't be able to see my posts either or show them to people.
I hope this stops people reading my posts. :/
I hope this stops people reading my posts. :/
on December 08, 2015
Other Mika fans: *have signed copies of all the albums, have all the singles and EPs, have vinyl records of the albums, have had their accounts noticed by Mika, have been to concerts, have met Mika*
Me: *doesn't have any of the albums or any Mika-related things at all, has never been to a concert, has never met Mika, has only secretly bought Promiseland from the Google Play Store with the leftover money on the card my mum gave me to buy games with*
Me: *doesn't have any of the albums or any Mika-related things at all, has never been to a concert, has never met Mika, has only secretly bought Promiseland from the Google Play Store with the leftover money on the card my mum gave me to buy games with*
on December 08, 2015
Today was okay, but this morning SkyDoesMinecraft Girl told me that Human Copy Machine Girl was talking about me and my social media on the school bus.
Apparently she was telling everyone that I was the one who liked Mika, and she said that everyone in the year knew who Mika was because of my social media and people reading my posts. She also said that she was Mika's biggest fan, but she doesn't actually know any of his songs. She didn't even know that Lollipop was one of his See More songs until that girl in my English class told her, and literally everyone at school knows that he sings Lollipop. I think she's just pretending to like him because of his looks after seeing pictures of him on my accounts or something.
I actually nearly cried when SkyDoesMinecraft Girl told me that she'd heard Human Copy Machine Girl saying all of this, and I was really paranoid about her saying something to me about it all day. :/
Apparently she was telling everyone that I was the one who liked Mika, and she said that everyone in the year knew who Mika was because of my social media and people reading my posts. She also said that she was Mika's biggest fan, but she doesn't actually know any of his songs. She didn't even know that Lollipop was one of his See More songs until that girl in my English class told her, and literally everyone at school knows that he sings Lollipop. I think she's just pretending to like him because of his looks after seeing pictures of him on my accounts or something.
I actually nearly cried when SkyDoesMinecraft Girl told me that she'd heard Human Copy Machine Girl saying all of this, and I was really paranoid about her saying something to me about it all day. :/
on December 08, 2015
Part 2 of today's post:
At the end of the day, SkyDoesMinecraft Girl followed me to my mum's car, and she tried to make me tell my mum that I can't speak at school. But I was much too scared, and I just couldn't. SkyDoesMinecraft Girl started talking about her nearly getting into a fight in a lesson, and when my mum asked me about what happened today on the way home, I pretended that we went to the school nurse because of that. My mum believed me, but she thinks something happened See More to me as well and she kept saying that I was hiding something. Then she started talking about SkyDoesMinecraft Girl nearly getting in a fight, and she asked me what I would do if someone tried to fight me. I said I didn't know, and my mum started yelling at me and saying that I'd just sit there, and that I needed to 'grow up' and 'start opening my mouth at school like I do at home'. Which is more reason not to tell my mum about this, because she just reacts like that and yells at me.
I'm scared, because I just can't tell my mum about things like this. :/
At the end of the day, SkyDoesMinecraft Girl followed me to my mum's car, and she tried to make me tell my mum that I can't speak at school. But I was much too scared, and I just couldn't. SkyDoesMinecraft Girl started talking about her nearly getting into a fight in a lesson, and when my mum asked me about what happened today on the way home, I pretended that we went to the school nurse because of that. My mum believed me, but she thinks something happened See More to me as well and she kept saying that I was hiding something. Then she started talking about SkyDoesMinecraft Girl nearly getting in a fight, and she asked me what I would do if someone tried to fight me. I said I didn't know, and my mum started yelling at me and saying that I'd just sit there, and that I needed to 'grow up' and 'start opening my mouth at school like I do at home'. Which is more reason not to tell my mum about this, because she just reacts like that and yells at me.
I'm scared, because I just can't tell my mum about things like this. :/
on December 07, 2015
Part 1 of today's post:
Today was both good and bad.
At break, SkyDoesMinecraft Girl and I went to the school nurse to tell her everything that I forgot to mention when I visited her a few weeks ago. I told her about people finding my social media because of TheDoctorsQueen and making fun of me, and the school nurse said that I should probably change my username, block people from school and set my privacy settings so that only my followers can see my posts. She also said that See More I should block TheDoctorsQueen so that she can't show people my posts or tell them about my accounts. I told her about Qfeast, and she went on her phone and scrolled through here. I said that I wanted to give her my username, but she said that she didn't want to invade my privacy and refused to search for my account. Then I told her about how people made fun of me for being a fan of Mika and insulted him all the time. But again, I didn't mention Mika's name and I just said 'my idol'. She said that I should try to ignore them, and to think of it as them making Mika more popular when they talk about him. She told me to be proud of the fact that I have a different taste in music to most people at school, and she said that people are always going to judge you anyway, no matter what you do. She asked who my idol was, and I got SkyDoesMinecraft Girl to tell her that it was Mika. The school nurse said that she had never heard of him, and that I should be glad that people at school are singing his songs and talking about him because they're basically promoting his music. She also told me that when she was my age, she was obsessed with a boy band who people hated, and she said that she learned to be proud of her interests. Then I told her about Lollipop Girl being a fake fan of Mika and pretending to like him, and how she says she is a bigger fan of everyone's idols. The school nurse said that she is probably just undecided about who she wants to idolise, and that I should just ignore her. She said that Lollipop Girl wasn't really a fan, and that I should just let her be a fake fan and watch her find out that she is one for herself. Then I told her about some of the worst things that have happened to me over the year, and we talked about them and how they affected me. Then I talked about the fact that I get bullied because I don't speak to people, and I had a long conversation with the school nurse about that too. Eventually she said that she thought that I might have more disorders, because it's a lot more than normal shyness. But she needed a parent's consent to see if I do have any more or for me to have therapy, and she asked me to try and talk to my mum about it. I said that my mum would probably get mad, and the school nurse said that I should at least try. Then the bell went for lunch, and I realised that I had been talking to the school nurse for almost two hours. I had been talking to her all the way through break, PE and the start of lunch. Then she told SkyDoesMinecraft Girl and I to go and have our lunch, and we said goodbye and left.
Today was both good and bad.
At break, SkyDoesMinecraft Girl and I went to the school nurse to tell her everything that I forgot to mention when I visited her a few weeks ago. I told her about people finding my social media because of TheDoctorsQueen and making fun of me, and the school nurse said that I should probably change my username, block people from school and set my privacy settings so that only my followers can see my posts. She also said that See More I should block TheDoctorsQueen so that she can't show people my posts or tell them about my accounts. I told her about Qfeast, and she went on her phone and scrolled through here. I said that I wanted to give her my username, but she said that she didn't want to invade my privacy and refused to search for my account. Then I told her about how people made fun of me for being a fan of Mika and insulted him all the time. But again, I didn't mention Mika's name and I just said 'my idol'. She said that I should try to ignore them, and to think of it as them making Mika more popular when they talk about him. She told me to be proud of the fact that I have a different taste in music to most people at school, and she said that people are always going to judge you anyway, no matter what you do. She asked who my idol was, and I got SkyDoesMinecraft Girl to tell her that it was Mika. The school nurse said that she had never heard of him, and that I should be glad that people at school are singing his songs and talking about him because they're basically promoting his music. She also told me that when she was my age, she was obsessed with a boy band who people hated, and she said that she learned to be proud of her interests. Then I told her about Lollipop Girl being a fake fan of Mika and pretending to like him, and how she says she is a bigger fan of everyone's idols. The school nurse said that she is probably just undecided about who she wants to idolise, and that I should just ignore her. She said that Lollipop Girl wasn't really a fan, and that I should just let her be a fake fan and watch her find out that she is one for herself. Then I told her about some of the worst things that have happened to me over the year, and we talked about them and how they affected me. Then I talked about the fact that I get bullied because I don't speak to people, and I had a long conversation with the school nurse about that too. Eventually she said that she thought that I might have more disorders, because it's a lot more than normal shyness. But she needed a parent's consent to see if I do have any more or for me to have therapy, and she asked me to try and talk to my mum about it. I said that my mum would probably get mad, and the school nurse said that I should at least try. Then the bell went for lunch, and I realised that I had been talking to the school nurse for almost two hours. I had been talking to her all the way through break, PE and the start of lunch. Then she told SkyDoesMinecraft Girl and I to go and have our lunch, and we said goodbye and left.
@Pretty_Little_Liars_Lover
No, but my fake friend told everyone about my account and they can still see my posts without having an account.
No, but my fake friend told everyone about my account and they can still see my posts without having an account.
on December 07, 2015
on December 07, 2015
on December 07, 2015
on December 06, 2015
Mika is putting a dinner date and a selfie with him up for auction to raise money for charity, and so far it's selling for €8800. ?
on December 06, 2015
Karaoke game: Did you know that Mika wrote Grace Kelly as revenge on the record labels that wouldn't sign him?
Me: Did you know that I'm not a fake fan?
Me: Did you know that I'm not a fake fan?
on December 06, 2015
Me: *listening to Grace Kelly*
Me: *realises the guy who sings it is the same person as the guy who made No Place in Heaven*
Me: *cries*
Me: *realises the guy who sings it is the same person as the guy who made No Place in Heaven*
Me: *cries*
on December 05, 2015
My favourite lyrics from each song on No Place in Heaven:
Talk About You - "It happened to me, totally unprepared. It's the beginning, but I'm not even scared."
All She Wants - "It's an age-old conversation that is changing with the times, but it's oh so complicated if your mother is like mine."
Last Party - "If you could into the future, would you? If you could see it, would you even want to? Got a feeling that there's bad news coming, but I don't wanna find it out."
Good Guys See More - "To the romance when I was fourteen years old, and to my heroes that were dressed up in gold."
Oh Girl You're The Devil - "She's a girl with a bag full of hearts and a devil's eyes, crazy kids in the wild on the run to the county line."
No Place in Heaven - "I was a freak since seven years old, being cast away, I felt the cold coming over me. For every love I had to hide and ever tear I ever cried, I'm down on my knees, I'm begging you please."
Staring at the Sun - "While there's light left, I sing this song for you. Don't know if you care, but every day, I do."
Hurts - "You say it's only words, and that it will get easier with time. But nothing's only words, that's how hearts get hurt."
Good Wife - "Somebody once told me that there are watchers and there are do-ers in this world. Guess I'm a watcher, not by choice, it's just what I was told."
Rio - "I'd rather be just about anyone else but me, I hope you see. It doesn't mean I'm not a fighter, it's just that I wanna be a little lighter."
Ordinary Man - "Just like a king who's losing his worth, I'm like a snob who's falling to earth. Everyone thinks that I'm staying the same, are they secretly happy that I am in pain?"
Promiseland - "Strike me down to the ground, you know I've seen it before. Make it hurt, I'll eat the dirt, I just don't care anymore."
Porcelain - "It's a small cry that is screaming inside, it's a paper cut that is bleeding me dry."
Talk About You - "It happened to me, totally unprepared. It's the beginning, but I'm not even scared."
All She Wants - "It's an age-old conversation that is changing with the times, but it's oh so complicated if your mother is like mine."
Last Party - "If you could into the future, would you? If you could see it, would you even want to? Got a feeling that there's bad news coming, but I don't wanna find it out."
Good Guys See More - "To the romance when I was fourteen years old, and to my heroes that were dressed up in gold."
Oh Girl You're The Devil - "She's a girl with a bag full of hearts and a devil's eyes, crazy kids in the wild on the run to the county line."
No Place in Heaven - "I was a freak since seven years old, being cast away, I felt the cold coming over me. For every love I had to hide and ever tear I ever cried, I'm down on my knees, I'm begging you please."
Staring at the Sun - "While there's light left, I sing this song for you. Don't know if you care, but every day, I do."
Hurts - "You say it's only words, and that it will get easier with time. But nothing's only words, that's how hearts get hurt."
Good Wife - "Somebody once told me that there are watchers and there are do-ers in this world. Guess I'm a watcher, not by choice, it's just what I was told."
Rio - "I'd rather be just about anyone else but me, I hope you see. It doesn't mean I'm not a fighter, it's just that I wanna be a little lighter."
Ordinary Man - "Just like a king who's losing his worth, I'm like a snob who's falling to earth. Everyone thinks that I'm staying the same, are they secretly happy that I am in pain?"
Promiseland - "Strike me down to the ground, you know I've seen it before. Make it hurt, I'll eat the dirt, I just don't care anymore."
Porcelain - "It's a small cry that is screaming inside, it's a paper cut that is bleeding me dry."
on December 05, 2015
Today at school, SkyDoesMinecraft Girl told me that Lollipop Girl was trying to say that she was a big Mika fan again when she saw her yesterday morning. She asked her again why she thought This Is Halloween was a Mika song, and apparently Lollipop Girl said that it was because it was 'on Just Dance 3, and every song on Just Dance is by Mika'.
I actually started laughing when SkyDoesMinecraft Girl told me this, because I really can't believe that she thinks every song on Just See More Dance is by Mika just because Lollipop is on one of the games. The whole point of Just Dance is to have a range of well known songs by different artists, and it clearly lists all of the songs and artists on the back of the game. I actually have the game with Lollipop and This Is Halloween on it, and it says that This Is Halloween is by Danny Elfman, not Mika. Which just proves that it isn't even by him.
And Lollipop Girl has started saying that she is a bigger SkyDoesMinecraft fan than SkyDoesMinecraft Girl, which is making her angry too. It's just annoying how she pretends to be a fan of everything that everyone likes, and she doesn't even think about how she might be making other people feel. She should just leave everyone's idols alone, and find her own instead of upsetting people by telling everyone that she's a celebrity's biggest fan after listening to one song or watching one video.
I really hate people like this. :/
I actually started laughing when SkyDoesMinecraft Girl told me this, because I really can't believe that she thinks every song on Just See More Dance is by Mika just because Lollipop is on one of the games. The whole point of Just Dance is to have a range of well known songs by different artists, and it clearly lists all of the songs and artists on the back of the game. I actually have the game with Lollipop and This Is Halloween on it, and it says that This Is Halloween is by Danny Elfman, not Mika. Which just proves that it isn't even by him.
And Lollipop Girl has started saying that she is a bigger SkyDoesMinecraft fan than SkyDoesMinecraft Girl, which is making her angry too. It's just annoying how she pretends to be a fan of everything that everyone likes, and she doesn't even think about how she might be making other people feel. She should just leave everyone's idols alone, and find her own instead of upsetting people by telling everyone that she's a celebrity's biggest fan after listening to one song or watching one video.
I really hate people like this. :/
on December 05, 2015
I watched the Beautiful Disaster music video, and I really don't like it.
It's basically just Fedez and Mika dancing badly on top of a building, with scenes of bad things happening in the world and Mika playing the piano. Mika and Fedez are hardly in it because there are so many complicated storylines going on in the video all at the same time. :/
It's basically just Fedez and Mika dancing badly on top of a building, with scenes of bad things happening in the world and Mika playing the piano. Mika and Fedez are hardly in it because there are so many complicated storylines going on in the video all at the same time. :/
on December 04, 2015
Oh my gosh, I just found out that the Beautiful Disaster music video was released today. ?
I'm going to watch this now. ?
I'm going to watch this now. ?
on December 04, 2015
Today was okay, but at lunch TheDoctorsQueen and her popular friends yelled at SkyDoesMinecraft Girl and I, and when they went to sit on a different table, I heard HeyHoHereWeGo singing Lollipop and making fun of Mika. :/
on December 04, 2015
A small rant:
People who tweet sexual things about Mika are what's wrong with the fandom, to be honest.
The people who tag Mika in their sexual tweets about him are the worst. You shouldn't tweet him anything that you wouldn't say to his face. They definitely wouldn't run up to him after a concert and start yelling the sort of things that they post on Twitter at him, so they shouldn't really be posting things like that.
Most of the people who do this are 12-16 years old, which See More is disgusting because they're underage. Even though you're tweeting Mika, he's still a 32 year old man. They wouldn't tweet things like this to other people his age, so they shouldn't do it to him just because he's a celebrity and their idol. He's just a normal person too, and he still has feelings.
Also, the people who tweet sexual things about him are mostly girls, and they always seem to forget that he is gay and in a relationship. They also always seem to forget that they are literally children, and that Mika would not want to do disgusting things with them. They claim that they respect him, but they act like this all the time and it's really disrespectful.
They might think they're flattering Mika, but they are probably just violating and embarrassing him. They're embarrassing themselves too, really. They think that tweeting things like this makes them more mature, but it just makes them seem more childish.
People who tweet sexual things about Mika are what's wrong with the fandom, to be honest.
The people who tag Mika in their sexual tweets about him are the worst. You shouldn't tweet him anything that you wouldn't say to his face. They definitely wouldn't run up to him after a concert and start yelling the sort of things that they post on Twitter at him, so they shouldn't really be posting things like that.
Most of the people who do this are 12-16 years old, which See More is disgusting because they're underage. Even though you're tweeting Mika, he's still a 32 year old man. They wouldn't tweet things like this to other people his age, so they shouldn't do it to him just because he's a celebrity and their idol. He's just a normal person too, and he still has feelings.
Also, the people who tweet sexual things about him are mostly girls, and they always seem to forget that he is gay and in a relationship. They also always seem to forget that they are literally children, and that Mika would not want to do disgusting things with them. They claim that they respect him, but they act like this all the time and it's really disrespectful.
They might think they're flattering Mika, but they are probably just violating and embarrassing him. They're embarrassing themselves too, really. They think that tweeting things like this makes them more mature, but it just makes them seem more childish.
on December 03, 2015
Do you ever just think about how weird Popular Song is? I mean, it's literally Cat Valentine and the guy who sings Lollipop doing a duet.
on December 03, 2015
on December 03, 2015
I'm getting anonymous hate messages on Tumblr again, and for some reason I feel like it's someone from Qfeast sending them. :/
on December 02, 2015
It is kind of true, though. . .And he's never read Darkness Falls or Red, because I don't let my parents read my stories because they always say that my stories are 'too dark' and that I should write happier stories. And he thinks that I've just become a terrible writer this year, because apparently I've 'become lazy'.
Thanks. . .