Today was a bad day.
At lunch, I went to see the school nurse again to talk to her about the assembly, and she wasn't as supportive as she usually was. I told her about the assembly and what I had to do, and she said that I should just try to do it and not care about what anyone else thinks. I said that it wasn't that easy, and I reminded her about the fact that I can't talk at school. She said that I should be able to at least try, and I said that even if I could talk, I still See More have to do the assembly about my idol. She said that I should just do it about Mika and not care what people say about him either, but I said that I couldn't because of the people who make fun of him or are fake fans. The school nurse said that they shouldn't affect me, and that I should just let everyone have an opinion on him. I said that it hurts a lot when people make fun of him because his music helps me and calms me down whenever I'm feeling bad. She said that I'm too attached to Mika, and that I should just stop overthinking everything and not care about people's opinions of him or myself. She asked me if I thought it was bullying or unkind behaviour, and I said that it was bullying. She said that she thought it was more unkind behaviour than bullying, and I said that might not be bullying, but people asking me to talk and yelling at me definitely was. Then the school nurse said that they make fun of me for a reason, and that it's unusual for someone not to speak, so she said that they are obviously going to act like that. She also said that I choose not to talk, and I said that I didn't, and it was just the way I react every time someone talks to me. I said that I really didn't want to do the assembly, and she said that she couldn't get me out of doing it without any evidence of me having anything that could stop me from doing it. Then she told SkyDoesMinecraft Girl and I to go and have lunch, and I felt horrible because the school nurse really didn't understand how anxious I was about the assembly, or how much Mika means to me. I felt like she forgot most of the things that I've talked to her about, and I just felt like nobody understood me.
In Food Tech, I was doing my work, and Owl Boy kept throwing his book at me and trying to steal my pencil case. This other boy kept picking my things up and using things out of my pencil case without permission, and I felt like crying the whole time.
Today was just horrible. The only good thing that happened today is that SkyDoesMinecraft Girl and TheDoctorsQueen both talked to my form tutor and told her that I couldn't do the assembly, and she said that I don't have to do it. Hopefully she will remember on the day and not make me do it. :/
At lunch, I went to see the school nurse again to talk to her about the assembly, and she wasn't as supportive as she usually was. I told her about the assembly and what I had to do, and she said that I should just try to do it and not care about what anyone else thinks. I said that it wasn't that easy, and I reminded her about the fact that I can't talk at school. She said that I should be able to at least try, and I said that even if I could talk, I still See More have to do the assembly about my idol. She said that I should just do it about Mika and not care what people say about him either, but I said that I couldn't because of the people who make fun of him or are fake fans. The school nurse said that they shouldn't affect me, and that I should just let everyone have an opinion on him. I said that it hurts a lot when people make fun of him because his music helps me and calms me down whenever I'm feeling bad. She said that I'm too attached to Mika, and that I should just stop overthinking everything and not care about people's opinions of him or myself. She asked me if I thought it was bullying or unkind behaviour, and I said that it was bullying. She said that she thought it was more unkind behaviour than bullying, and I said that might not be bullying, but people asking me to talk and yelling at me definitely was. Then the school nurse said that they make fun of me for a reason, and that it's unusual for someone not to speak, so she said that they are obviously going to act like that. She also said that I choose not to talk, and I said that I didn't, and it was just the way I react every time someone talks to me. I said that I really didn't want to do the assembly, and she said that she couldn't get me out of doing it without any evidence of me having anything that could stop me from doing it. Then she told SkyDoesMinecraft Girl and I to go and have lunch, and I felt horrible because the school nurse really didn't understand how anxious I was about the assembly, or how much Mika means to me. I felt like she forgot most of the things that I've talked to her about, and I just felt like nobody understood me.
In Food Tech, I was doing my work, and Owl Boy kept throwing his book at me and trying to steal my pencil case. This other boy kept picking my things up and using things out of my pencil case without permission, and I felt like crying the whole time.
Today was just horrible. The only good thing that happened today is that SkyDoesMinecraft Girl and TheDoctorsQueen both talked to my form tutor and told her that I couldn't do the assembly, and she said that I don't have to do it. Hopefully she will remember on the day and not make me do it. :/
on January 18, 2016
Mika: If I ever have a son, I want to name him Alice.
Audience: *starts laughing*
Mika: No, I'm being serious. If Mika can be a guy's name, then why can't Alice? Why do names have to be gendered? Everyone should be able to be called whatever they want.
This is why I love Mika. ?
Audience: *starts laughing*
Mika: No, I'm being serious. If Mika can be a guy's name, then why can't Alice? Why do names have to be gendered? Everyone should be able to be called whatever they want.
This is why I love Mika. ?
@Galactic_Noodles
Yeah. He says things like this in interviews a lot, because he's a sort of activist when it comes to equality.
Yeah. He says things like this in interviews a lot, because he's a sort of activist when it comes to equality.
on January 18, 2016
on January 18, 2016
I just want 2016 to be the year that Mika starts having big hits again and wins awards in the same way that he did in 2007, to be honest. :/
on January 17, 2016
Mika tweeted that he is shooting the Hurts music video, and he said that he is almost done with the final scene. I really hope he releases it today or tomorrow. ??
And he also posted some selfies while he was on set, and he looks so cute in them. ??
And he also posted some selfies while he was on set, and he looks so cute in them. ??
on January 17, 2016
It's snowing outside right now. I hope it snows enough for school to get cancelled, because I really can't go to school on Wednesday. :/
on January 16, 2016
I also just found out that Hurts is going to be a single. This isn't so good, because it really doesn't fit in with other popular songs. I really want Mika to be in the charts and actually get played, and songs like Hurts are too sad for the radio, to be honest. ?
Unless it's the remix. I hope it is, because that would be really good and he might actually have a chance at getting into the charts. ?
Unless it's the remix. I hope it is, because that would be really good and he might actually have a chance at getting into the charts. ?
on January 16, 2016
OH MY GOSH. ??
I JUST FOUND OUT THAT MIKA IS RELEASING A MUSIC VIDEO FOR HURTS. ??
I really love Hurts, and it's one of my favourite Mika songs, so I'm really happy about this. It is going to be literal perfection. ?
I JUST FOUND OUT THAT MIKA IS RELEASING A MUSIC VIDEO FOR HURTS. ??
I really love Hurts, and it's one of my favourite Mika songs, so I'm really happy about this. It is going to be literal perfection. ?
on January 16, 2016
The person who stole one of my edits is ignoring me and refusing to delete the picture, and people probably think she made it. It has a lot of likes now, and it's kind of bothering me. :/
on January 14, 2016
I'm honestly so sick of Italian Mika fan accounts stealing my edits and claiming them as their own. ?
I work really hard on my edits, and I spend ages thinking of themes for my account, choosing pictures, thinking of the right song lyrics for my edit, finding the right filters, adding textures, etc. I don't do all of that for my work to be stolen, and I watermark my pictures for a reason. It's so that people know the edit is mine and don't try to post it it without my permission. See More And most of the people that steal my edits also claim that they made them sometimes, which is annoying because I'm the one who made them. And whenever I tell them that they can't post edits that I've made, and say that they should take the picture down, they just tag me in the picture and give me credit. Giving credit is good, but I just don't want anyone posting anything I've made myself, especially without asking first. ?
I work really hard on my edits, and I spend ages thinking of themes for my account, choosing pictures, thinking of the right song lyrics for my edit, finding the right filters, adding textures, etc. I don't do all of that for my work to be stolen, and I watermark my pictures for a reason. It's so that people know the edit is mine and don't try to post it it without my permission. See More And most of the people that steal my edits also claim that they made them sometimes, which is annoying because I'm the one who made them. And whenever I tell them that they can't post edits that I've made, and say that they should take the picture down, they just tag me in the picture and give me credit. Giving credit is good, but I just don't want anyone posting anything I've made myself, especially without asking first. ?
on January 14, 2016
Today was mostly okay, but at lunch Diamond Girl yelled at SkyDoesMinecraft Girl and I because we said that we hated our lives. She said that we can't feel like that because there are people in other countries with worse lives, and that it's selfish and disrespectful to say that you hate your life when other people have it worse. That just made me feel even worse about myself, to be honest. :/
@Galactic_Noodles
I said that not everyone loves their life as much as she does, and she just yelled at me more and said that I was just being selfish. And she does have it a lot better.
I said that not everyone loves their life as much as she does, and she just yelled at me more and said that I was just being selfish. And she does have it a lot better.
on January 14, 2016
its an emotion on a graph, sadness is the negative quadrents, happiness the positive ones, its not a one way street say "its like your phone just broke and you cant get a new one, are you sad? you cant be because some people dont have a phone to break, see how that logic doesnt work?"
on January 14, 2016
on January 14, 2016
I ruined my record of being seven weeks clean. . .I'm sorry. :/
on January 13, 2016
Today was mostly okay, but my day was ruined by something horrible that happened to me.
In form, we couldn't go to the Arts Theatre and do a proper rehearsal of the assembly, so we stayed in our form room and worked on our topics for the assembly in our groups. While I was working on it with my group, Lollipop Girl and Badge Girl said that I should just put Mika on our sheet and talk about him or the assembly. I said that I didn't want to, and then Lollipop Girl said, "Why not? See More I'm his biggest fan, and I would talk about him." That made me want to cry. TheDoctorsQueen, who was sat next to me, said that it was my choice not to put him in the presentation, and then Badge Girl said, "Who even is Mika? I'm going to look him up on my phone." She and Lollipop Girl looked at her phone while she tried to go on the internet, and I started to feel really anxious. I told them that I didn't want them to search him, and they said that I had no reasons for them not to search him. Then TheDoctorsQueen said that they should leave me alone, and they shouldn't search him because it was upsetting me. They ignored her, and then Badge Girl said that she couldn't go on the internet, so she told Lollipop Girl to search Mika on the teacher's laptop, which was connected to the projector and the whiteboard, and showed everything that was on the screen to everyone. Then I started to have a panic attack, and I actually started crying. Badge Girl and Lollipop Girl kept yelling at me and saying horrible things about me and Mika. TheDoctorsQueen asked the teacher if she could go outside the classroom with me and try to help me to calm down, and she said that she could. Then we went out of the classroom to go into the small room outside it, and TheDoctorsQueen kept telling me to breathe in and out. She said that Mika wouldn't want me to be that upset, and she gave me a tissue to wipe my eyes with. When I had almost calmed down and I could breathe properly again, we went back into the classroom. Lollipop Girl was on the teacher's computer, and I started to feel scared again, but luckily she wasn't searching Mika in front of the whole form. When I sat back down in my seat, she talked to me as if nothing had happened, but Badge Girl started yelling at me and saying horrible things about me. She called me an annoying weirdo, and she said that I was strange. She said that I should just talk about Mika in front of the whole year and stop being so overdramatic, because she said that it's 'easy' and Mika is 'just a person'. I felt like crying again then, and the bell went, so I walked out of the room trying not to cry.
It was just horrible. :/
In form, we couldn't go to the Arts Theatre and do a proper rehearsal of the assembly, so we stayed in our form room and worked on our topics for the assembly in our groups. While I was working on it with my group, Lollipop Girl and Badge Girl said that I should just put Mika on our sheet and talk about him or the assembly. I said that I didn't want to, and then Lollipop Girl said, "Why not? See More I'm his biggest fan, and I would talk about him." That made me want to cry. TheDoctorsQueen, who was sat next to me, said that it was my choice not to put him in the presentation, and then Badge Girl said, "Who even is Mika? I'm going to look him up on my phone." She and Lollipop Girl looked at her phone while she tried to go on the internet, and I started to feel really anxious. I told them that I didn't want them to search him, and they said that I had no reasons for them not to search him. Then TheDoctorsQueen said that they should leave me alone, and they shouldn't search him because it was upsetting me. They ignored her, and then Badge Girl said that she couldn't go on the internet, so she told Lollipop Girl to search Mika on the teacher's laptop, which was connected to the projector and the whiteboard, and showed everything that was on the screen to everyone. Then I started to have a panic attack, and I actually started crying. Badge Girl and Lollipop Girl kept yelling at me and saying horrible things about me and Mika. TheDoctorsQueen asked the teacher if she could go outside the classroom with me and try to help me to calm down, and she said that she could. Then we went out of the classroom to go into the small room outside it, and TheDoctorsQueen kept telling me to breathe in and out. She said that Mika wouldn't want me to be that upset, and she gave me a tissue to wipe my eyes with. When I had almost calmed down and I could breathe properly again, we went back into the classroom. Lollipop Girl was on the teacher's computer, and I started to feel scared again, but luckily she wasn't searching Mika in front of the whole form. When I sat back down in my seat, she talked to me as if nothing had happened, but Badge Girl started yelling at me and saying horrible things about me. She called me an annoying weirdo, and she said that I was strange. She said that I should just talk about Mika in front of the whole year and stop being so overdramatic, because she said that it's 'easy' and Mika is 'just a person'. I felt like crying again then, and the bell went, so I walked out of the room trying not to cry.
It was just horrible. :/
on January 13, 2016
I'm feeling scared about going to school today, because there are three bad things happening today. Today is the day that my form rehearses the assembly, I'm scared of what my form tutor will say to me this morning and I have PSHE today and I'm scared that Echosmith Hater Girl will say horrible things about Mika and make fun of me. :/
on January 13, 2016
Mika: *releases an album*
Me: *finds the slowest song on the album with the saddest lyrics*
Me: Ah, yes. This is my new favourite song.
Me: *finds the slowest song on the album with the saddest lyrics*
Me: Ah, yes. This is my new favourite song.
on January 12, 2016
I just remembered that I'm seven weeks clean today. I think this is actually the longest I've ever stayed clean for. ?
on January 12, 2016
on January 12, 2016
So apparently Mika is releasing J'ai Pas Envie as a single, which is bad because it will probably only be played in France, because it's a French song. He's already popular and gets played a lot over there already, and he never gets played in other countries, so he should release an English song as a single so that people in other places can hear his songs more often. And I don't even consider J'ai Pas Envie as a proper Mika song, because it's only on the French version of No See More Place in Heaven. Also, because it's going to be a single, that means there will be a music video. The video will probably be really bad, because literally nothing goes with the song. We'll also have to wait even longer for the All She Wants music video now, even though we've already been waiting for months. :/
on January 12, 2016
Today was okay, but when I went to see the teacher in the Diamond Centre today and told her about the assembly, she didn't really understand why I can't talk at school.
She said that the school nurse had told her about me, and she said that she understood why I didn't want to talk about Mika in front of the whole year group, because she knows about the fake fans and how much he means to me. She emailed my form tutor telling her to help me through it, which was good, but the teacher See More also said that I should be able to say something small in the assembly. She said that I should pick a random person and joke about them being my idol, but I said that people would judge me even more for that, and that I can't physically speak and do that in front of the whole year. She said that I could try to get over my 'shyness', and she said that it didn't matter, but it does, and I don't think she really understands as much as the school nurse. :/
She said that the school nurse had told her about me, and she said that she understood why I didn't want to talk about Mika in front of the whole year group, because she knows about the fake fans and how much he means to me. She emailed my form tutor telling her to help me through it, which was good, but the teacher See More also said that I should be able to say something small in the assembly. She said that I should pick a random person and joke about them being my idol, but I said that people would judge me even more for that, and that I can't physically speak and do that in front of the whole year. She said that I could try to get over my 'shyness', and she said that it didn't matter, but it does, and I don't think she really understands as much as the school nurse. :/
@jenesaispas
No, I don't think so. But I don't think it's the reason why I don't talk. :/
No, I don't think so. But I don't think it's the reason why I don't talk. :/
on January 12, 2016
on January 12, 2016
It's actually really bad how my school has rules against things that are harmless and could help people, like dying your hair, listening to music during school time, wearing black leggings instead of school pants, etc. but they don't do anything about the things people do that actually cause problems, like bullying, people smoking or people doing drugs at school.
on January 12, 2016
I hope I get to stay in the Diamond Centre all the way through Drama tomorrow, because I have to go there at break and Drama is the third lesson of the day. I might be able to, because explaining everything all over again is going to take some time.
on January 11, 2016
It's okay. *hugs*
Yeah. . .Thanks. And I wish you were here too. :/