McDermottsAngel - Page 36

I feel horrible today.

I was in a supermarket today, and while I was walking around with my mum, this boy who I've never even seen before yelled at me and said hello to me. I didn't know if he was talking to me, so I pretended that I didn't hear him. Then when I was in a different part of the shop, the boy and his friends were in the same area as me, and they all started yelling at me again and they said that I went to their school, even though I didn't even know them. I felt See More like I was going to have a panic attack, because I couldn't answer them and they would probably make fun of me when I didn't say anything. After I had walked past the people who were shouting at me, my mum started yelling at me as well for not answering them, and she called me an ignorant cow. Then for the rest of the time while we were walking around the shop, she kept making fun of me, and I felt like crying, but I forced myself not to. Then when we went out of the shop, she said that I needed to answer people when they talked to me, and she called me pathetic. I felt even worse then, and I just wanted to cry. Then when I got in the car, my mum put the radio on, and they were talking about self harm on the radio, which was quite triggering. Then I almost started to panic because of everything, but I kept breathing in and out and singing Popular Song in my head, and I eventually calmed down. I still felt awful, though.

Now I'm scared to go to school on Monday, because if those kids that were yelling at me really do go to my school, then they'll probably yell at me again and ask me why I didn't talk to them. :/

Okay: I'm not really a fan of that singer/band.
Not okay: I hate that singer/band. How can you possibly like them? Their music is awful and annoying.

Me: *hears upbeat song* Life in Cartoon Motion.
Me: *hears song with dark lyrics* The Boy Who Knew Too Much.
Me: *hears electropop song* The Origin of Love.
Me: *hears slow song* No Place in Heaven.

Mika: *breathes*
Me: Wow. The talent of this generation. I cannot handle the perfection.

I haven't listened to Mika in two weeks because of my ear infection, and I feel bad because I want to listen to him but I can't. ?

Happy Internet Friend Day, guys! I love you all! ??

I'm really annoyed right now because I was watching Mika's livestream, and I almost got noticed by him, but then my mum came in my room and almost saw me watching his livestream. I didn't hear her come upstairs or anything because my ear infection is stopping me from hearing out of my right ear, and I had one earphone in the other ear.

Now I'm scared because she might have seen that I was watching Mika's livestream, and I'm annoyed because Mika could have noticed me, but I wasn't See More because I had to turn it off when she came in the room. :/

Wow, I'm such a horrible person. I wish I could just be happy for other people. :/

Mika: *writes songs like Origin of Love, Step With Me and Feels Like Love*
Mika: I hate Valentine's Day, it's too sappy.

I just remembered that the movie that Mika has a cameo in is released today. ??

And I'm off school again today, because I'm not feeling any better. :/

I'm off school today because I'm ill again. I'm glad that I don't have to go to school, but I feel horrible. :/

Do you ever just say things like 'mainstream record' or 'well known track' to avoid saying 'popular song', because you know you'll laugh if you say it?

I just googled what time it would be over here when it's 6pm in Korea, and it turns out that the livestream is going to be at 9am. I'm glad that it's on a Saturday, otherwise I wouldn't be able to watch it.

I watched Mika's livestream, and it was cute and quite interesting. I know a bit more about the new things that he's going to be doing for his fans now, and he said that he's going to be livestreaming again on Saturday at 6pm, so I'm going to watch him then too. ☺?

Mika did a livestream from Korea today while I wasn't online, and I didn't get to watch it. ?

I can watch it now, but he has a different livestream app while he's in Korea so I have to download that now to watch it. And the livestream is in English as well, which is good because he rarely does things in English nowadays. I've seen some parts of the livestream on Twitter, and Mika says some really funny and cute things on it, so it will probably be good. ?

Today was okay, again. ?

Oh! Strangely, I had a dream about you last night. You were happy and you went to a good school. You had a lot of friends and you were a great person. You were an amazing writer at school and everyone loved you.

I don't know what it meant, but I just thought of that. I hope I'm not creeping you out.

Today was okay. ?

Today was okay. And the assembly has been postponed, because on Wednesday the police are coming into school to talk to everyone, so that's good. ?