The Epic Adventure Of My Ass 2.0

Burritos, cats, and Ronnie

After I showered and got dressed in my lab coat for work I walked out of my apartment to get on magical flying burrito Pablo. I got on Pablo and stuck a Dorito in the ignition to start him up, he started shooting rainbows out of the back and rose off the ground. We were flying through the city pretty fast and I thought I'd actually make it to work on time but then an army of cats blocked the cross walk and it was illegal for me to fly over them. Crazy cat lady Gertrude was taking all 1,000,000,000 of her cats across the street to the vet for their yaerly checkup and it took three hours for them to cross the street. As soon as the last damn cat crossed the road I zoomed to work and parked Pablo faster than you can say Koala bear sex.
I walked into the ISCO which stands for International Sciencey Crap Organization and scanned the identification pancake I was assigned. When I got to my lab on the 17th floor my lab partner Ronnie threw a llama at me. "Where the hell were you!? You were 2 hours late you assholes! I had to cover for you so the boss didn't fire your ass!", Ronnie yelled angrily at me. "I'm sorry it was all Gertrude's fault!", I explained to Ronnie. "Well next time shove a cactus up her old cat loving ass!", Ronnie  snapped back rolling her eyes. "Well anyways what's our assignment today Ronnie?". "We have to turn this llama into a dolphin but while you were busy being late I already finished the damned serum, so you pour it on the llama and write down the results while I get a sandwich!", Ronnie said handing me the serum and stomping out of the room.
I scowled at how much of a bitch Ronnie was being and went to pour the serum on the llama. The llama suddenly kicked the serum out of my hand and it landed on my ass. I started freaking out while my ass was shooting off sparks and starting to glow. What happened next will amaze you...