Drew's Departure
I stopped walking and looked at him confused.“What do we have?” I asked. Maybe he was joking. A week ago this would have been my dream. To “have” something with Drew, but that was before I met Darcy.
“I don’t know” Drew said looking at the ground. No he was serious. Dead serious.
“Well what do you think we have?” I asked, still confused.
“I don’t know. That’s the point. I want to know. I want to know what you want us to have?” he said.
Us. That word scared me. Us. We. Drew and I having something. I wanted to hide away somewhere and never come back. Turn invisible.
“Well for starters I didn’t even know you liked me” I said.
“Wasn’t it obvious?” he asked.
“Not for me.”
“It wasn’t obvious I liked you for myself either. You were just my crush. That was it. No more, no less” he said. Hang on, hadn’t I just thought that?
“But then I wanted us to be more. I wanted to be with you all the time. Half the times we talked I’d be imagining myself kissing you. I dreamt about you even.” Ok that was getting a little weird. Dreaming about me? Yeah right. The only person that would ever dream about me was probably Jarrod. Killing me that is.
“What happened in those dreams?” I don’t know why I said it. I was curious but not that curious. I knew better than to ask what guys dreamed about.
“Usually we’d just be talking and then it would suddenly come up that you liked me and I would say I felt the same way and we’d kiss and then” he drifted off. At least I knew better than to ask what the “and then” part of that sentence meant.
“So what do you want me to do?” I asked. I’m not sure why I was asking all of these things. They just kept coming out.
“Give me a chance. Be my girlfriend for a week and if you don’t like it you can dump me as soon as it’s over” he said. It was tempting. Very tempting, but I couldn’t. That would be a bad move. I had feelings for Darcy and I knew it. I couldn’t help it. He got me more than anyone I had ever met before. More than my parents. Especially more than my parents.
“I’m sorry Drew I can’t” I said, pleading with him to still be my friend using my eye language.
“It’s ok. I understand. Just please at least give it some more thought. I think, I mean I know we could be amazing” he said.
“I’ve given it all the thought I can. I can’t go out with you. I can’t be your girlfriend. I’m sorry. I used to be into you but figured I had no chance so I moved on.” Drew wouldn’t stop staring at me, but he wasn’t staring at my eyes. He was staring at my neck.
“What happened?” his hand reached out and touched my neck, I flinched away.
“It’s nothing” I said.
“It’s new. I can tell. Who did that to you?” he said almost yelling. He realised I wasn’t going to answer. I also realised then and there that there was no way we could still be friends. It broke my heart because he was such a great guy, but we couldn’t. He cared too much. That would have been a good thing if I still liked him but I didn’t, so it was just another problem. I could tell that he had just realised this too.
“At least give me another day to spend with you before you shut me out completely” he said.
“I can’t” I said. My voice fading.
“I know” Drew said back. He turned around and walked away. Back to the change rooms. I watched him. I watched the boy I had liked for what seemed like forever walk away from me. Knowing that that would be our last conversation other than for school. I watched that boy with the apricot brown, tufty hair walk for what felt like the longest walk I had ever watched. As I watched him I said goodbye in my head. I said goodbye to the laughter we had shared. Goodbye to the memories we had made. I had to get them out of my head someway. So I gave them back to him, knowing that they would only be a distraction, just like him. And as I stared I whispered;
“Goodbye Drew.” I turned my back and walked the other way.
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