Invisible

Falling Apart

When I woke, I wasn't at home.  I wasn't in the nurses office, either.  I  just passed out, and I have no idea where I am.

My head was still fuzzy, what had happened exactly?  Lucas gave me that punch... was it drugged?  Would Lucas do that?  

No, he wouldn't.  He loves me, right?  Oh wait, he didn't say he did.  What had he done?  He denied it, that's right.  But Lucas was to perfect, to sweet to do something like that.  I closed my eyes again, seeing no difference between the darkness of the room and the back of my eyelids.

Suddenly, I heard steps coming towards me.

"Please don't do this, please don't!"  That was Lucas.  He sounded scared out of his mind.

"A deal's a deal, Lucas.  No going back now," this voice was unrecognizable.  

"But, I'll do anything else.  Anything!  Just leave her out of it," Lucas begged.

I tried to stay calm, but my mind was firing.  What was going on?

"Why?  Lucas, Lucas, Lucas, don't tell me you've fallen for her," the voiceoice said.

Lucas was silent.

"Oh my God, you are in love with her.  Oh, Travis will not be pleased, will he?  Well, I guess it doesn't matter anyway, because she really won't love you after this," he said.

"John, please.  I know you're still mad at me for the trouble you got into with the drug deal and all.  It was my fault.  I was the one buying, I was the one driving.  You shouldn't have had to take the blame."

Oh my God.  Lucas was the one buying that night, he was the one who hit the dealer as well.  John and Brandon had taken the blame for him, though.  

"Damn right," John said.  "I lost my football scholarship because of your clever little hit and run," John said.

"I didn't mean to hit Travis that hard.  He wanted the money, and I didn't have enough.  You know that!  He tried to kill me, kill me!  So, I jumped behind the wheel and hit him.  I was scared John," Lucas voice shook.

So, this Travis was the dealer?

"So, you want me to tell the police that you're guilty?  Because I will happily do that for you, Luc."

"Just leave Kasey out of it," Lucas said.

Yeah, leave me out of whatever it is.

"Hm, I don't know.  She is," a hand ran down my cheek, "rather beautiful.  Travis will like her.... And I like her."

I shivered from fear.  What was he doing?

"Oh, she's awake.  Splendid.  Open your eyes, sweetheart," John rasped.

I opened my eyes.  A lamp had been turned on.  I could see now that I was in a motel room.  John loomed over me, smiling an evil grin.  

"Did Lucas ever tell you the whole story, sweetheart?"  John sat at the foot of the bed.

I pulled my legs up to my chest, trying to become invisible.  

"Did he?"

I shook my head.

"I guess I'll fill you in.  Lucas had a bit of a drug problem, you see.  Him and Brandon went to get their usual fix from my friend, Travis.  I used to get drugs from him, but realized I wasn't really into it anymore.  This particular night, I tagged along with them.  I drove till we got there, because Travis had only told me where he was to be dealing.  So, I pulled up, jumped in the backseat and waited for business to be taken care of."

I glanced at Lucas for the first time.  He was pale as a ghost, I could see where he had been crying.  Normally, I would have wanted to curl up with him and let him talk about it.  But that time was long gone.

"About five minutes in, I heard yelling," John continued.  "I looked up to see Travis shoving Lucas and Brandon.  Travis is not one to be messed with, especially about his money.  Travis didn't go to college, so it's tough making money in this economy, and he had raised his price by twenty dollars.  I saw Brandon toss a twenty to Travis, then he came running back with his drugs.  Lucas, however, was still fighting with Travis.  So, he shoved Travis, jumped behind the wheel, and slammed on the gas.  Travis couldn't get out of the way in time."

I was shaking harder than ever.  What happened when the story was over?  One glance at Lucas's tear streaked face and I knew it wasn't going to be good.

"I immediately started screaming at Lucas.  Why would he do such a thing?  How could he be so stupid?  Then, the bastard turned to me.  He looked so lost, so scared, so innocent.  I couldn't help but feel bad for him.  I mean, we were on the football team together, and he had worked so hard in school to keep his grades up.  He had just thrown his life away.  So what did I do, Lucas?"

"You took the blame," Lucas collapsed onto the other bed.

"I took the blame for Lucas's mistake, thinking I would just claim self defense, and be let off, no harm no foul.  And having a police officer father isn't a bad thing, either.  But no,  I was given public service, and forced to go to rehab.  That kind of stuff goes on your transcript.  I lost my football scholarship, my future, because I took the blame.  Because I gave into the innocence, do you understand that?"  John asked.

I stared at him, unwilling to move.

"So, as revenge me and Travis decided to take something innocent back.  Something pure," he reached out, stroking my face.  "Something scared," he started peeling my arms away from around my knees.  "Something completely innocent."

Tears poured from my eyes.

"You, dear Kasey.  You are innocent.  But you won't be, not for long," he grinned.

I started sobbing.  "No, please don't do this.  Please!"

"I know Travis likes his girls fresh, but maybe I could have a little fun before he arrives," in one move he had my face in his hands and pressed his lips to mine.  It wasn't sweet, like Lucas's had been.  It was terrifying.  He was rough, wanting nothing more than my body.  

I kept my lips pressed together, tight.

"Come on, babe.  Loosen up, tonight could be fun," he tore my arms away from my body, pinning them to the headboard.

I turned my head away, trying to avoid any more contact.  As I turned, I caught a glimpse of Lucas.  

He was crying, raking his hands through his hair.  "I'm sorry."  He started crying even harder.

I was falling apart.  I was going to be raped by two guys tonight.  I was still a little slow from the drugs, and John was three times bigger than me.  Everything was falling apart, and Lucas wasn't doing anything.  

I caught Lucas's gaze once more, John biting my neck painfully.  I let a few more tears fall, before I managed the words.  "I'm falling apart, and you're not doing anything.  I loved you Lucas, but I can see this is all I ever meant to you."  I started sobbing, closing my eyes so John couldn't see the terror in my eyes.

I felt Johns mouth back on mine, and I gave in.

Let him have me.  Everything is over.  Everything is done.