My Name Is Blue.
My name is Blue. That means that I have a Blue personality. Sensitive, creative, emotional, peaceful, and honest. I've been that way ever since birth, when I was called 503.I stand in line behind my friend, Blue. It's a pretty common name. To make it easier to tell people with the same names apart, we sometimes add our birth name to our own name. For instance, I am Blue 503. My friend is Blue 502. He was born in the BirthRoom next to mine, one minute before I came into the world.
Behind me is Yellow 504. The Seniors are almost done getting their meal, way up at the front of the line. Brown 450, who just became a Senior, gets his food and heads to the dining area. Orange 460, the oldest Adult - and therefore the first of the Adult section of the line - steps up to the machines and receives his food. Luckily, most of the Adults have jobs, so they get their meals in the Career Buildings. Only the jobless Adults eat food with the Seniors and Juniors. The Adult line is over, and Turquoise 490 accepts his meal.
Soon it is my turn. I grab the metal plate, and it recognizes my fingerprints. Out of the TraitFood dispenser comes a steaming pile of navy blue goop. I step forward. A few royal blue pills pop out of the VitaminFood dispenser and clatter on my plate. Next is the TasteFood dispenser. I take a metal cup from the stack next to it, and out of the TasteFood dispenser shoots a stream of cold pale blue liquid.
In the distance is the Blue Class Table. A bronze pole protrudes from the tabletop and waves a sapphire blue flag that depicts the Blue Class Crest - a bear surrounded by calm waves and clouds.
Blue 502 waves from the table. I speed-walk over and slide into the seat next to him.
He's pretty much the model Blue Pupil - every quality that Blues are supposed to have, he has. He's sensitive, loyal, creative, honest, peaceful, emotional, and even-tempered. He has never disobeyed a single Blue rule in his life. He even looks like he's a Blue Pupil - his eyes are a deep blue, his hair is soft, brown, and wavy, and his gait is even and laid-back.
Blue 502 flicks his bangs out of his face. He's got his usual warm smile on. "Wonderful morning," he says, winking.
I nod. "Yes. Good morning to you, too." I pinch my nose shut, toss the blue pills in my mouth, and swallow them with a sip of my drink. I can already start to feel the pills working their magic - I immediately feel brighter and more alert. They don't call it the VitaminFood dispenser for nothing.
I wave my hand over the lump of goo, feeling its temperature. It's now cool enough to eat, so I shovel it in my mouth and quickly swallow. Nevertheless, it still leaves a greasy feeling in my mouth. I gulp down the rest of my drink, which washes away the oily texture and leaves behind a pleasant blueberry taste.
Blue 480, the Blue Teacher, stands up. Everyone else at the table does, too. We follow him to the Cleaner, where he slips his dishes into the slot. We do the same, listening to the sucking sound as they're vacuumed clean. Blue 480 motions for us to follow him to the Blue Building, where Class will be held. We each walk through the shiny metal doors and into the cool air of the Classroom.
It's time for Class to begin.
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NO ONE fits into just ONE of these personality types.
But I still love the story.
And I know that no one fits into just one, but the "Head" (rulers of the society) kind of make them act only a certain way. Plus, the TraitFood enhances their color's personality traits.
So basically, she's been mistyped and needs to be moved to Turquoise. Simple. I don't know why this is a problem. :3
Also... It's against the rules of a personality type to be susceptible to cold...? That makes no sense at all.
About the Turquoise thing. I kinda just imaged it as a seprate mall you can't enter since your personality is not the same colour as the mall and even if you entered instead of dollars they use euros.
And that thing with the cold. What if red was really weak against heat, that would probably also be very weird in that messed up humanity See More ^-^
Well you gotta agree this is a pretty cool story though :3
And even though I'm critiquing, I hope that it's clear that I absolutely LOVE this story. That's the reason why I AM critiquing, actually. XD
**IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE BOOK "THE GIVER" DON'T READ BELOW**
In the Giver, there's no color, the weather is controlled, and everyone has to take a shot of medicine before they leave in the morning. Also, in the Giver, when you get old, you're "Released," which basically means See More killed.
Sorry, Imma geek. >.<
Ai, I get what you mean
maybe she has some of the strong 'blue' personality causalities and has been 'categorized' as one of them.
but seeing them as an alien race wouldn't be bas, it might make it more interesting. maybe in the future they meet humanity or somethin :3
Personality types have literally zero to do with skin and how our bodies handle different temperatures. If this is an alien race and the rules for that are different, than I'd See More accept that answer. But I'm pretty sure that these are humans, soo... This is a stupid rule and it's really bothering me. >.<
Yeah, it really is an awesome story, I'm just confused and kind of bothered by a few of the things and couldn't help but critique.
The heroine is 'breaking' the barier of ideas and ways of looking upon oneself and expanding it.
The only thing I want to say to keep in mind is that I hope you make her realise 'on time' that she needs alies and real friends to reach her goal
But I really like this cool idea and hope you'd continue it :D
It's weird how 'original' this is See More while nothing in it is XD
Although I find a few problems with the society. Psychologically, these kids wouldn't be developed enough to receive a standard personality trait until their late teens. Also, it's kind of just stupid to call everyone the same name. The kind of people who would create a "haven" like this would be giving each kid a separate name. Maybe one girl is named See More Chartreuse, and another Rose. Colors that fit into that color category, but not the basic color itself. And what's the purpose of feeding these kids blue goop? Just to make the society seem distasteful? I actually have a LOT more to say about this society and how it could be edited to be more realistic and actually beneficial. But I'm guessing that that's not what you're going for, so I guess I'll just stick with "Awesome!!"? ^_^