Chapter 6
As Strom was crying Dally came back."What's wrong with you Strom " Dally asked"What's.Wrong. What's wrong. I'll tell you whats wrong .My ony sister is pass out and is slowly breathly ! Thats what's wrong. " Storm yelled. " Dude, Chill .Is she breathing ? Like at all ." Dally asked trying to cool Storm off."What did I just say ,I said she was slowly breacthing..." Storm states trying to clam down."Can you carry her ?" Dally asked again "I'm stronger than her,so I guess I can carry her." Strom say slowly putting his sister on his back." Well that's good.Follow me I know a faster way to hospail ." Dally commatied. Storm started to walk when he felt me move a little and yelped in pain."Hey Dally can I check my sister real quick , please " Storm begged.
Dally nodded Storm placed his down and noctied a mark on her sholder .He noctied socs and know why.He picked her up again and ran " Come on Dally ! " Storm yelles running. "Here is the loction to the short cut to there ok. I'll hold them off just get you and your sister there.Your dad needs you ok " Dally states gving Storm the place for the short cut.
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um, the entire thing is pretty much exactly what happened to pony boy at the beginning of the original outsiders and aside from grammatical errors, i think this has potential. good job for the most part ?
keep it up!