Catching Roses

Jessica Holister is probably one of the smartest in the world- nicknamed by the media "Sherlock Holmes", with her identity remaining a secret. And her past, what she thought became gone, was back.

published on April 21, 2017not completed

Chapter 5- Joanna William's POV

  What the hell.
    "There's a leg and two arms in the fridge." I muttered.
  "Sorry 'bout that." Jessica muttered.
  "WHY WOULD YOU PUT A LEG AND TWO ARMS IN THE FRIDGE!?" I screamed.
  "Experiment..." she muttered, tensing, with a relaxed face, as if she were trying to hide it.
  I shook my head and burried my face into my hands, annoyed.  She had something wrong with her, obviously.
    "You're insane." I muttered.
  "I have mental issues, but don't confuse me for being insane." She replied, turning on her side, scrolling through her phone.
  "Oh?  Then what are you?" I smirked, looking at her.
  The redhead stopped scrolling and made a confused face, not sure how to answer. My sign of victory.
     "Exac-"
  "Someone who was mentally abused and denyed the ability to learn social skills, and develope trust.  Don't assume victory if the opponent hasn't made a move." She interupted, resuming her scrolling.
    Opponent.  What does she mean?  No matter; there's more important rabbit holes to destroy.
  "Jess, why do you think they'd drag the body back?" I questioned.
  "Several reasons.  One, credit.  She want to be seen.  Two, she sees it as a game and they're toying with us.  Three, thrill.  She wants the risk factor to be higher because they're bored."  Jess replied, scrolling through the phone.
    Wait.  She. "How do you know it's a she?" I asked.
  Jess sighed, scrolled back, and showed me an image.  A size 7 heel print.  "6 and a half heel print, sadly the blood is much to smeared to see what the brand is."  She corrected.  
  "Ah, allright.  But what about the other partner?" I asked.
   "Dont be absurd! Remember-"
  She stopped, and started counting down from five with her hand, standing.  As soon as she got to 0, there was a knock on the door.
  "Antonio, the door is open!" She shouted, scrolling through her phone.
  Lo and behold, Antonio walked in.  His tan skin was now tinted with red, breathing heavily.
  "What's new now?" She asked, unamused.
   "Three other bodies were found similar to the previous crime scene." He said in between breaths.
   "Then why waste your breath on it?"  Jess asked, not looking up from her phone.  She didn't seem the most phased.
   "Because one is really close by."  Antonio replied, leaning against the door.
   "How close?"  She asked, still unamused.  Still scrolling through her phone.
  "As in 6 minutes away."  He replied, getting annoyed, gaining his breath. She snickered, and stood, grabbing her coat and looking at her watch.  
  "Take Joanna there, I'll catch up."  She answered.  Antonio gave a confused look, but nodded to me, motioning for me to follow him.
  And so I did.
Join Qfeast to read the entire story!
Sign In. It is absolutely free!
4.8
Please Rate:
0.0 out of 5 from 5 users

Comments (28)

The story is really good. Usually, I don't like casual writing styles, but that type of writing style really helps with this story. My only problem is that I feel like the story jumps around too fast. When you write the next chapter, try to slow down and explain everything. Otherwise, this is a really good story, and I can't wait to read the rest!!
reply
Allright! I'll keep that in mind!
Thanks!
reply
No prob ^-^
reply
About Author
Report
on May 11, 2017
About Author
Report
on May 11, 2017
About Author
Report
on May 11, 2017
I like your story @Forever_Great_Bohemian_Rhaspody :)
reply
About Author
Report
on May 08, 2017
I do like this story and see potential in it as a Qfeast classic.
My only concern with this story is the amount of space between sentences. I understand if this is your normal style, but...
I feel like nothing is organised into paragraphs that flow one after the other.
I like stories where the time flows on, and it's shown in the paragraph spacing. Books like See More
reply
Allright, thank you for the imput! It really helps.
reply
About Author
Report
on May 05, 2017
About Author
Report
on May 05, 2017
Okay, your writing style is awesome and it's very fun tot read, my only criticism would be that there's a lot of speaking and not a lot of saying what is actually going on and describing it. The only way the reader is able to keep up I see looking at all the speaking, maybe try to vary it a little more? Does this help? ^.^U
reply
Plenty! Thanks!
reply
About Author
Report
on May 05, 2017
About Author
Report
on May 05, 2017
About Author
Report
on May 05, 2017
Hey, can I be your official editor?
reply
Sure!
reply
Mkay, great!
reply
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
Sounds good to me!
reply
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
Mkay! Actually, I think it'd be easiest to make a hidden page and PM you the link - I'll post constructive critiques and chapter edits on there, if that's alright with you.
reply
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
However you do it best!
reply
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
Really? That's awesome! I'm really flattered. ^_^ Would you like me to send edits in PM or just leave constructive critiques or?
reply
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
I was actually gonna ask if you'd do that--
reply
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
Yay!! Thanks ^_^
reply
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
Okay, so something that I actually didn't think about that you did fantabulously was that Sherlock is this crazy observant character that could tell her so many random details it's ridiculous. My only critique is that her panic attack probably wouldn't be calmed down immediately (also, hugging a person having a panic attack without their permission isn't a really See More
reply
Also, it would be cool to change the last sentence to "We shook hands and walked to my therapy session." It changes all of the action to something that they're doing together; Jessica isn't dragging Joanna into her life, but Joanna is walking into her life. If that makes sense? It's not a big deal, just a tiny literary thing. XD Seriously though, I frikkin love See More
reply
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
Jessica described in detail another person - what they were wearing, where they were going, what they were thinking - seemingly unimportant details that would help ground Joanna in the present. And then Joanna was almost completely calm, so maybe Jessica just glanced at one more new passerby and described them to help Joanna (and also to establish to the readers See More
reply
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
I love it!!
reply
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
Also, I'm writing more now!
reply
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
Of course!
reply
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
Allright! The details are fixed. Mind re-reading to make sure I got that right?
reply
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
Basically! Legit though, I really love this so far and I can't wait until you write more.
reply
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
Allright! Basically more detail and more accurate information?
reply
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017
About Author
Report
on April 21, 2017