Catching Roses

Jessica Holister is probably one of the smartest in the world- nicknamed by the media "Sherlock Holmes", with her identity remaining a secret. And her past, what she thought became gone, was back.

published on April 21, 2017not completed

Chapter 6- Jessica Holister's POV

  Oh, how predictable for them to dump the body near a high population of criminals.  Could make anyone a suspect.  Dissapointing, though.  Really wished they made it harder.
  I straightened my jacket, walking to the mailbox for just one moment, opening it.  Nothing but the usual- a rose and a note.  I retrieved the items, put the rose in it's proper place (a vase full of them in my room, on the dresser next to the lamp), put the letter in my pocket, and stepped out to look into the kitchen, sighing.
    Thank the lord for seran wrap.
  I contenued out, looking around.  Nothing has changed- same, boring designed apartments, full of people trying to either survive or avoid being caught.  The streets were empty other than an occasional stray dog or homeless person hiding from me.
  I growled at Antonio once I arrived.  It bothered me when people don't find the time it takes to get from one place to another.  "Seven minutes and 23 seconds, Antonio.  You're off." I scolded him.
    Of course, he only rolled his eyes.  It clearly doesn't matter.  
  However, I was slightly cheerful- the press wasn't here yet.  More for me to look at without flashing lights.
  The house was off white with a pale blue roof- hasn't been repainted in a while.  Bricks were chipped- weathering and poor maintenence.  However, the lawn and bushes were neat.  Flowers were dying- haven't been watered in 2 weeks.
  Inside, people were everywhere.  Flashing cameras pointed at useless information- looking for any obvious clues.
  Heel print next to the body- 6 and a half.  Different brand, however.  Body- once again, too torn up and eaten to identify.  No skin this time- they took the time to make sure it wasn't identifyable.   Again, a woman.
  Travel plans from the callender- buisnuess trip, but the conpany name and where to was smeared in blood.  I sighed, and went to the kitchen.
  Then there was the scent of a cigarettes.
   Instinctively I covered my nose, then went back to the corpse, kneeling down.  No signs of smoking.  Trashcans- no cigarette packages.  No ash was on the porch.  Looking closer- ash in the blood.
   "DID ANYONE FIND A CIGARETTE BUD!?" I shouted, looking around.  Everyone shook their heads.
   Antonio, however, had strolled in from a hall that had lead to the master bedroom, the guest bathroom, and bathroom.  "I did." He said, slightly proud of himself.  I sighed, grabbing the bagged bud from his hands.  "Good, now get a DNA sample off it and contenue looking for information that has a 76 percent of being useless." I ordered, looking around, taking a picture of it and handing it back.  He seemed almost disapointed, but it's natutal- technically I was authority and he seemed to be, what, slightly jealous?  Almost depressed?  I can never tell what anyone may be feeling.
  I bit my tounge- the cameras were getting on my nerves, and going outside would make it worse.  I was now unable to focus.
  Reminding myself to breath, I contenued looking around, hoping for any way to do so.
  And I found something that had caught my eye on the corpse.
    "Why is it allways women?"
  "What?" Joanna asked.
    "It's allways women, and the face is allways the most torn up part.  Usually attractive, slightly wealthy women, based off what I overheard about the crime scenes," I paused, looking around.  I did overhear earlier that they were also women- names I can't remember- and and the faces around me confirmed it. "and the faces are the most torn.  Usually jealousy ,but why?  Probably someone who's had relationship issues, but why act this way?  They finally have control over someone, and they're image of a relationship is so distorted they end up getting jealous, and they end up gaining so much control they force them to do horrendus things.."
  I paused, looking around.  Closing my eyes, I let my audio take over.
  Joanna was asking Antonio what the hell I was doing, and a breeze had started.   Footsteps of 12 different people- 16 in the house.  Press was here and wanting more information.  
  Next crime scene will have more information.
     I opened my eyes. "Joanna, next crime scene.  Antonio, send me the address."
  Joanna simply nodded and followed.
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Comments (28)

The story is really good. Usually, I don't like casual writing styles, but that type of writing style really helps with this story. My only problem is that I feel like the story jumps around too fast. When you write the next chapter, try to slow down and explain everything. Otherwise, this is a really good story, and I can't wait to read the rest!!
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Allright! I'll keep that in mind!
Thanks!
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No prob ^-^
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on May 11, 2017
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on May 11, 2017
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on May 11, 2017
I like your story @Forever_Great_Bohemian_Rhaspody :)
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on May 08, 2017
I do like this story and see potential in it as a Qfeast classic.
My only concern with this story is the amount of space between sentences. I understand if this is your normal style, but...
I feel like nothing is organised into paragraphs that flow one after the other.
I like stories where the time flows on, and it's shown in the paragraph spacing. Books like See More
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Allright, thank you for the imput! It really helps.
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on May 05, 2017
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on May 05, 2017
Okay, your writing style is awesome and it's very fun tot read, my only criticism would be that there's a lot of speaking and not a lot of saying what is actually going on and describing it. The only way the reader is able to keep up I see looking at all the speaking, maybe try to vary it a little more? Does this help? ^.^U
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Plenty! Thanks!
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on May 05, 2017
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on May 05, 2017
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on May 05, 2017
Hey, can I be your official editor?
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Sure!
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Mkay, great!
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on April 21, 2017
Sounds good to me!
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on April 21, 2017
Mkay! Actually, I think it'd be easiest to make a hidden page and PM you the link - I'll post constructive critiques and chapter edits on there, if that's alright with you.
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on April 21, 2017
However you do it best!
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on April 21, 2017
Really? That's awesome! I'm really flattered. ^_^ Would you like me to send edits in PM or just leave constructive critiques or?
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on April 21, 2017
I was actually gonna ask if you'd do that--
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on April 21, 2017
Yay!! Thanks ^_^
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017
Okay, so something that I actually didn't think about that you did fantabulously was that Sherlock is this crazy observant character that could tell her so many random details it's ridiculous. My only critique is that her panic attack probably wouldn't be calmed down immediately (also, hugging a person having a panic attack without their permission isn't a really See More
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Also, it would be cool to change the last sentence to "We shook hands and walked to my therapy session." It changes all of the action to something that they're doing together; Jessica isn't dragging Joanna into her life, but Joanna is walking into her life. If that makes sense? It's not a big deal, just a tiny literary thing. XD Seriously though, I frikkin love See More
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on April 21, 2017
Jessica described in detail another person - what they were wearing, where they were going, what they were thinking - seemingly unimportant details that would help ground Joanna in the present. And then Joanna was almost completely calm, so maybe Jessica just glanced at one more new passerby and described them to help Joanna (and also to establish to the readers See More
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on April 21, 2017
I love it!!
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on April 21, 2017
Also, I'm writing more now!
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on April 21, 2017
Of course!
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on April 21, 2017
Allright! The details are fixed. Mind re-reading to make sure I got that right?
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on April 21, 2017
Basically! Legit though, I really love this so far and I can't wait until you write more.
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on April 21, 2017
Allright! Basically more detail and more accurate information?
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017