A Knight's Cry

A Knight's Cry

Liam, a knight finds himself avenging his family with someone he never knew before. Liam must fight through the pains and fear of the mission. [Thanks for Reading! Please give Feedback!]

published on September 25, 2015not completed

Then Go On

        "Wakey, wakey!" said King Henry.
        "Get up Liam, I ain't got all day." Said Ruby, the mage.
        Liam then sat up, looked around, and saw his suit of armor. Liam then looked at himself and he had peasant clothing on.
        "Why do I have peasant clothing on?" asked Liam.
        "I couldn't put any other clothing on you!" answered Ruby.
        Liam was embarrassed, and his face turned red, but quickly turned away and put his armor on.
        "What now?" said Liam.
        "Go out of the kingdom. The knights that killed your mother fled to free land and established their own kingdom there. Believe it or not, they didn't like the king that was around your times, but they still agreed to execute you and your mother. Go east, there you will see their land." said King Henry.
        "Seems legitimate," said Liam, sarcastically.
        "Oh, grow up." said Ruby.
        "Just go!" ordered King Henry.
        "Who's filling in for me, dad?" said Liam.
        Then Liam just thought, "did I just call him dad? I guess he's like a father to me.."
        "Hmm?" said King Henry.
        "Er, nothing.." said Liam.
        "Now, stop slacking and go destroy them!" yelled King Henry
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Comments (4)

I LOVE that you actually have good grammar. That's surprisingly hard to find on here. However, I feel like there could be some improvements in your writing as far as emotion, thoughts, feelings, descriptions, and flow are concerned. You need to be as into your writing at the time you type as you want the reader to be when they read. Also, are you really going See More
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Thanks for the help!
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You're welcome! I can go more in-depth (up to several pages), but I feel like that would probably just be annoying. :3
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on November 17, 2015
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on November 17, 2015
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on November 17, 2015
wow! Its awesome!
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on October 04, 2015