A Knight's Cry

A Knight's Cry

Liam, a knight finds himself avenging his family with someone he never knew before. Liam must fight through the pains and fear of the mission. [Thanks for Reading! Please give Feedback!]

published on September 25, 2015not completed

and Find a Friend.

        "You, go retrieve a mage from the mage tower. She will help you on your mission," said King Henry.
        "Who's 'she'?" said Liam.
        "Well, 'she' is the only 'she' there. You'll find her," said King Henry.
        Liam then left the castle to find the 'she' that Henry was talking about. Liam wondered why it was a 'she'. HE had never heard of any women becoming a mage in this kingdom. Still, he went to go get her. Liam then finally made it, and knocked on the mage tower.
        "Open up! It's a knight!" said Liam.
        "Henry said you'd be here one day, Liam." said a female voice.
        "Who are you?" demanded Liam.
        "Your new friend!" yelled the female voice.
        The giant doors opened quickly, knocking Liam to the ground. There stood the 'she' Henry was talking about.
        "So, Liam. Let's go back to the castle," said the female.
        "W-Who are you?" said Liam.
        "I am Rose, the female mage!" said the female.
        Quickly there were flashbacks of Liam's mother, because her name was Rose. These flashbacks were uncontrollable, and corrupted him. Finally, the flashbacks let go. Then Liam found himself awaking in the castle. He looked around and saw the mage and Henry.
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Comments (4)

I LOVE that you actually have good grammar. That's surprisingly hard to find on here. However, I feel like there could be some improvements in your writing as far as emotion, thoughts, feelings, descriptions, and flow are concerned. You need to be as into your writing at the time you type as you want the reader to be when they read. Also, are you really going See More
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Thanks for the help!
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You're welcome! I can go more in-depth (up to several pages), but I feel like that would probably just be annoying. :3
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on November 17, 2015
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on November 17, 2015
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on November 17, 2015
wow! Its awesome!
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on October 04, 2015