Assemblance

Andrew

Of all the items on my to-do list that morning, "Get abducted by demented person" wasn't one of them.
So when I finally finished weeding the garden at 6:30 in the morning, I the last thing I expected to happen was the appearance of a man. And not an ordinary man - a weird one. Not just weird - he was crazy! Insane! Deranged!
He wore an upside-down top hat, glasses with one of the lenses replaced by a lens from a pair of sunglasses, and purple swim trunks. On one hand, he wore a flip flop, and on the other, a shoelace was tied around his wrist. And one of his feet was bare, only that wasn't the worst part - on the other foot, he had on a sock with a sandal!
The man straightened his glasses and smiled at me. "Good evening, sir!" he said cheerfully.
I cleared my throat. "Excuse me, mister, it's not evening. It is 6:30 in the morning. And who are you?"
He looked up at the sky, and his expression changed. "My, so it is! I seem to have forgotten the time of day. Silly me!" He adjusted his shoelace-bracelet. "This lacelet, sir, is special! It came all the way from a shoe. My other shoe, actually." The man looked down and pointed at his bare foot. "The shoe that belongs on this foot. I don't know where that shoe is, in fact."
I smiled weakly. A "lacelet"? Then I figured it out and chuckled. A combination of "shoelace" and "bracelet!" But I'd never seen anything like it before...
"Mister?" I said. "I asked you a question. I said, 'Who are you?' and you didn't answer."
The man rubbed his chin. "Ah, yes... I forgot. My apologies, sir. I am..." He trailed off. "Please forgive me, sir. I cannot remember my name! But it doesn't matter now. You'll understand everything when we get to the Assemblance. Specifically, Abstractia. You are the ruler, so you cannot just forget things like the rest of us."
"Wait, what?" I exclaimed.
But the man didn't listen. Instead, he tapped his nose three times and told me to do the same. Reluctantly, I did.
He beamed. "Almost there! Okay, repeat after me: 'I never even wanted to visit Abstractia, so may I never go there no matter what the cost!' "
I sighed. " 'I never even wanted to visit Abstractia, so may I never go there no matter what the cost!' "
All of a sudden, the ground disappeared from under me. The sky disappeared from above me. Everything around me disappeared. All I saw was white.
Except for one thing - a mirror.
As I got closer, I realized it was a fun house mirror. I looked twisted and distorted when I looked into the mirror. But when I looked down at myself, I realized I was actually twisted and distorted, and it wasn't just an illusion! I screamed, but my voice sounded weird, like a lion's roar. And then everything went black.