Frostbite *OLD*

Frostbite *OLD*

This is a very old story that I began years ago and to be able to get feedback and to find this easier, I wanted to post it here. My self-insert oc at the time in the Sonic universe ^^' please have mercy on me

published on January 21, 2018not completed

Question

Fallen leaves danced in the winter breeze with swirling twist. A light mist drifts in the midnight air preparing for the heavy downpour that’s awaiting the sun. The moon’s illuminating glow is the only light in the dead of night. Wind whistled and sang through the collection of trees; the nocturnal insects giving their sweet lullaby. There was the occasional stir of the common creature, either searching for shelter for sleep or hunting for its next meal. All was peaceful, all was in its natural routine until the next series of events would change not one but, several lives.  
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It was finally the weekend and everyone was showing their exuberance on the idea of being free for the few short days. As the school bell’s chimed and sung their dismissing rings, the schoolyard became dotted with a variety of colors revealing several adolescent students. Excited voices could be heard from each corner of the yard, everything from the football game to who was going where after the Fall Bonfire. All was exciting and joyous, but nothing could bring the thrill of fall like the cool crisp breeze that danced through the trees and surrounding buildings.
As everyone began to disperse and head towards their destinations, the last student burst through the front doors of the school looking flustered and in a hurry. She slipped on her knitted hat and made a mad dash to the buses, with ear buds in her ears. Little white clouds of breath could be seen since of the cooling air around the southern forest. She dodged and weaved through groups of teens that were getting into their cars so she could get to the dreaded yellow bus. Even through her music she could hear the threats and comments that were said as she passed a large group, but she ignored them and climbed up the three steps unto the bus. Just barely making it before their scheduled departure, she sighed and made her way to the back of the bus. She sat in her assigned seat and took out her ear buds that were still playing Fight for Your Right to Party by the Beastie Boys. The music was finally muted and the music player was placed inside her tiny black backpack.
The bus was loaded with its usual passengers but one, and as if on cue, came a Hispanic boy with glasses and a ripped backpack. He made his way down the aisle of the bus and sat in the seat across from the girl. He motioned towards her “Why didn’t you tell me that you were riding the bus?” he said in his usual sarcastic tone, which she was used to by now. “Why should I? Don’t I always ride the bus?” she countered back matching his tone. “You know that I would drive if I had a car.” He rolled his eyes at the statement “Yeah, poor Hannah and her never ending problems. Well at least I have a way to get somewhere.” She scowled at him after that remark, Yeah, that’s true but he can’t go anywhere since he hasn’t received his license yet. He was only fifteen anyways so why gloat about having a car? She turned her attention to the window and watched as the world flew by, the dark clouds above suggesting that the game might be canceled. Wasn’t like she was going anyways, she had other responsibilities to do. She turned back to her childhood friend –Jose Juan or popularly known as J.J. –was talking to his group that rode the bus with him. Very typical of him, I’m even surprised that he even has friends. Not trying to rude about it but, he is the one that is rude to everyone. I -Her thoughts were cut short when they have arrived at their destination. Her and J.J. got off and began walking up their short graveled drive-way. They where neighbors who had been friends ever since early childhood, only a few years separated their ages, and have always seemed like close friends until he started high school, he just became someone else. They parted ways as Hannah’s house was the first on the drive-way and his was only about twenty feet further.
As she walked in the door she was greeted unexpectedly “Ahhhh!” yelled her father playfully; “Ah!!” she repeated only to find her Dad snickering be hind the door. “Ha, ha, real funny.” She said as she sat he bag on the couch. “Right” replied her Dad as he over exaggerated the word. He has always been a real cut-up, always pulling jokes here and there. But that’s what everyone loved about him, his out-going personality, everywhere he went he always made a new friend. She kinda wished she was like that, able to make friends with just about anybody she would meet. He then walked out of the kitchen with a glass of Pepsi and went out the door. Most likely to go work on his truck, she thought. He has always owned several vehicles at one time, mostly like his hobby. She then walked into her room to put her stuff away, placing her book that she has finished reading called The Maze Runner on her shelf full of her favorite reads. It was a great book in her opinion; she loved anything to do with fictional adventures. He room was a little small compared to others she has seen but she wasn’t complaining; she loved having her own personal space but it was always intruded by her younger sister more than once a day.
“Hannah” She jumped a little in surprise and spun around to find no one behind her, confused; she walked through the small house to find it empty of anyone else. She sighed deeply; this has been going on for quiet some time which is making her worry some. Ever since she has hit her head she has been hearing these voices and having strange dreams.
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*Flashback*
It was mid February; white slush covered the ground making everything slick. Hannah’s rain boots and her knee-socks was the only thing that was keeping her feet warm as she tried to warm her hands in her pockets. Her and friends: Jessie, Beth, Lindsey, and Kc were walking back from lunch, towards the gym. Talking, laughing like always just acting like usual. As we walked into the gym a few of her friends entered the restroom to freshen up as the rest of the group walked to their favorite spot on the gym floor where their belongings laid. As they got to their area, Hannah leaned against the blue and white block wall as the other two friends took a seat beside their personal items on the hardwood floor. As they continued to talk Hannah’s wet boots slipped out from under her, her arms flailed out to catch herself, only to have nothing to hang on to. With a loud thud her head smacked into the solid wall as she fell onto the floor. Her friends began laughing at the silly mishap until they noticed the pained look on their friend’s face. She froze in pain and fear as her neck went numb and almost all feeling was lost for several seconds. The rest of friends rejoined the group as Jessie asked Hannah if she was ok, and after some conversing she decided to go to the school nurse only to be cleared and was sent back to class with a big knot on her head.
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But she still had a pain, from time to time, in the same spot where she had hit it earlier that year. Now there were these voices she heard along side strange dreams.
So she went back to her room to find something to do to get the strange occurrences off her mind.
*3 hours later*
The chilled air whipped her brunette hair around as Hannah and J.J. rode down the road with their windows down and the radio blaring. Not really holding a solid conversation since he kept his attention on his cell phone. Of course this was our routine thing to do on any weekend; to go either to Mc Donald’s or Wal-Mart parking lot, just cruising around. But hey, it beats staying at home all day.
She was about to break the awkward silence by trying to start a conversation when blue and red lights up ahead got her attention. “It’s probably a license check or something” stated J.J. She looked behind her not really wanting to go through with the check even though she had her license and everything. As they waited behind a few cars that were ahead of them she had gotten her items out and ready so she won’t make the police officer wait. When they finally pulled up to the officer and was ready to hand over her papers; everything seemed to grow even colder as her breath caught in her throat. She knew deep down that this couldn’t be happening, that it was just her imagination getting the best of her. But that changed when the man in the uniform spoke under his ginger mustache.
“I’ve got only one question. . . “



A/N: Oh god XD just going back over this makes me cringe but I was so proud of this when I first wrote this. But hey that's why I kinda want to rewrite this. ^^'
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Comments (15)

I started reading your and some far, it's really good.
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on June 07, 2018
In the first paragraph, "(...) would change not one but, several lives" is incorrect.
The correct way to write it would be: "(...) not one, but several lives".

Simple mistake. I'm really impressed by your introduction by the way, it's fantastic! I hope one day I'll write as well as you. The description built such a powerful and beautiful image in my mind, very See More
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Thanks for the input and thank you so much!
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on March 21, 2018
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on March 18, 2018
I thought it was good! I created a story as well,but I know mine won't be as good as yours.
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That's better than mine ^^' some of my stuff have none
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Really?I thought those were good.The one I wrote was my first story.I guess im a lucky beginner!:p
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on January 26, 2018
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on January 26, 2018
Thanks! but I'm sure yours is great as well ^^'
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Well I haven't had very many comments,but I got 13 readers and 6 reads in two days.I guess that's good,but im not sure.
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on January 26, 2018
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on January 26, 2018
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on January 26, 2018
I love it
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awww thanks and same to you!
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Your welcome very much
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on January 23, 2018
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on January 23, 2018
Eh it could be better ^^' but thanks a bunch!
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You're welcome friend I'm here for you
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on January 23, 2018
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on January 23, 2018
thanks! ^^' but you know it's rubbish
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What no its not rubbish
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on January 23, 2018
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on January 23, 2018
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on January 23, 2018