who gets them?
"Tear...are you sure you want to fight them?" Stream asked "Yes stream, Ruststar always has looked down on bloodclan, and I'm tired of it! Just sick of it!" He spat "if you say so,but I don't think it's safe to have our warriors walking side by side with the forestclan warriors. They could start fighting and-" before she could finish tear aggressively argued "STOP TELLING ME HOW TO DO MY JOB! Are you the leader? last time I checked NO! Your the deputy!" He complained "so unless something happens to me! Which I doubt would happen...your the leader! And I won't be gone for a starclan of a long time!"He lashed at her
"y-yes sir..." she felt mousebrained "if we weren't needing you for this battle I would have hurt you by now!" He overreacted "Hey! Leave her alone tear! She's just concerned about your safety!" Sky complained to his own leader to defend his crush tear looked behind at him giving Sky a long angry glare "are you threatening your Leader?" He went back to confront Sky "no...I'm just saying you shouldn't threaten her like that!" He courageously stood up to tear "Forget you! I don't need a warrior like you to tell me how to treat a deputy!" He threatened "My heart has hardened and my brain took a step up! And when the heart gets warm it's easier to die! And when that happens to warriors like you they need to die!" He slashed sky's face as sky swiftly fought back it caught Ruststars eye as both forestclan and bloodclan watched equally in astonishment "TEAR! STOP IT!" He raced to sky's aid "SKY LEAVE HIM ALONE! PLEASE!" Stream sided with Tear surprisingly.
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Also: I think you have something called a 'snake in your sentences'. Most of your sentences are very long, without a lot of puncuation! Try to break them down into smaller parts for a more dramatic effect See More on your reader.
I touched on this in the others: The main problem is your punctuation. I don't really understand what is going on? You lost me at 'BloodClan', sorry!
Otherwise, good job :)
???/5 stars!
Holy s*it you missed a comma! Call the ambulance I'm gonna have a nervous breakdown! And you missed a capital letter I have to dial 9-9-9. Help meeeee!