Chapter 2
Jordan was walking back from school. He didn’t understand why people felt the need to bully, a big problem at his school. People didn’t deserve to feel worthless and unwanted. Everyone was special and weird in their own way. A GOOD way. A way that makes everyone different.He shrugged his backpack higher on his shoulders. He pulled out his phone to check his texts.
1 NEW MESSAGE.
Jordan opened it and read:
Yo, bro. where u gonna b 2nite?
The boy shook his head. Alex was his best friend, and quite a dimwit at times. He never thought things through, and his mouth was too quick for his mind. It was still a complete mystery as to how he and Jordan became friends… mostly because they were polar opposites.
He replied:
Studying for the huge exam coming up. What about you? I’m here if you need help.
Alex:
XD hangin w/ paul and nic. Ur funny. I cant b leave u rlly study
Jordan:
Why not?
Alex:
B cause itll make u a dweeb.
Jordan:
I’d rather be a dweeb than be
His typing was interrupted by something hitting his head. It wasn’t hard, but it was noticeable, and—funny enough—it finished what he was about to type.
The paper read: STUPID.
He pocketed the paper, shrugged, and finished his typing.
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Constructive criticism: You should make your chapters about 100 words longer.
I hope you make more chapters ^-^
Well as a writer you probably want crittesism, so here :3
The story description is short & simple, yet lovely cute and got me interested. The chapters themself are pretty short, but since this is probably something you write for fun, and if you instead make more chapters instead of more See More content each it's fine. The grammar is pretty good. The storyline is also nice, bringing 2 viewpoints together is a nice way to go about this type of (love)story.
In these first chapters you're only shedding some light on the characters, so how you weave their opinions and actions into the story is pretty smooth, cauze in some cases when showing a character the writer tries to point out what kind of action their character would take but it doesn't blend in the storyline.
The only negatives I found was that the chapters are short, but that's probably just because I find this story so nice to read and hope you'll continue it :3
I NEED MORE
MOORREEEE!!!!!!!