Chapter 3
Cleo sat at the table with her sister. “Olivia, count with me. If three plus three is six, than what is three plus six?”Olivia put her tiny, six-year-old hands in front of her with her fingers outstretched. Cleo tapped each finger as her sister counted out loud. “One… two… three… fi—“ She shook her head—“FOUR… five… six… ei—SEVEN… eight… nine.”
“So three plus six equals?” Cleo prodded.
“Nine!” Olivia said triumphantly. “Three plus six equals nine!” She quickly scribbled “3+6=9” on her first grade paper.
Cleo smiled. “Good job, Oli. Now, what else do you have?”
“Nothing. I finished my spelling at school.”
“Oh. Okay.” She tried to keep the relief from flooding out of her voice. Tonight, the last thing she wanted to do was little kid homework. She had enough of her own to worry about. “Olivia, get to bed, okay?”
Olivia nodded. It seemed as if the one thing that went right in Cleo’s life was that she had a great little sister. Olivia always listened, and she very rarely argued.
“G’night, Cleo.”
“Good night, Oli. Sleep tight.”
“I will.” The first grader ran to her room.
Cleo sighed and took out her backpack. Her HEAVY backpack. She yanked her literature book out with some difficulty and set it on the table. Instead of doing anything, she just stared at the book, her dyslexia making the order of the letters swivel around, and making her waste time trying to decipher the words. Writing was no problem for her, but reading? That’s a whole other story.
She gazed at the book, trying to read, which was like decoding Greek to her. Eventually, she gave up, letting her mind wander.
Why did he leave?
We were happy.
He ruined our family.
Was it because of me?
Cleo shook her head, trying to clear the thoughts that killed her. She couldn’t think about that. Right now, she had to think about how she would survive the school day tomorrow.
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Constructive criticism: You should make your chapters about 100 words longer.
I hope you make more chapters ^-^
Well as a writer you probably want crittesism, so here :3
The story description is short & simple, yet lovely cute and got me interested. The chapters themself are pretty short, but since this is probably something you write for fun, and if you instead make more chapters instead of more See More content each it's fine. The grammar is pretty good. The storyline is also nice, bringing 2 viewpoints together is a nice way to go about this type of (love)story.
In these first chapters you're only shedding some light on the characters, so how you weave their opinions and actions into the story is pretty smooth, cauze in some cases when showing a character the writer tries to point out what kind of action their character would take but it doesn't blend in the storyline.
The only negatives I found was that the chapters are short, but that's probably just because I find this story so nice to read and hope you'll continue it :3
I NEED MORE
MOORREEEE!!!!!!!