Twilight Parody

She Meets Him

Bella stomps upstairs and throws herself onto the bed and cries herself to sleep.
This happens over the next week. Except on the 8th day she doesn't fall asleep right away.

The window in her room creaks opens. Bella hears thousands of girls
screaming "I LOVE YOU" Then the window shuts, the voices blocked out.

A sparkling man jumps in. Bella jumps up, "Who are you?" she whispers.

"Oh, crap! Your not asleep!!" - he also whispers.

"who are you!" she shispers

"My name is Edwardian Vampireslayerhater the 3rd. I am chairvamp
of a Buffy Hater Group, I am about 12954 years old, my last
real birthday was 12900 years ago. Yes, I have remained looking
this handsome for 12954 years!" He says.

"But you are ugly!" she yells

"what?" he cries

"you are balding! Your missing teeth!
You have layers of fat! I don't see how you got in the window!"
-Bella said.

"oh, that... that's nothing!"

"My, the teeth you do have, they are quite pointy!!" she notices.

"All the better to rip off your flesh with!" he replies.

"My, sparkly skin you have!!" she notices.

"All the better to make you some how love me!" he replies.

"My, how cold you make this room" she notices.

"Are we just gonna sit here making fun of how awkward I am?" he yells.

"Bella, are you okay? I heard yelling!" -Dad hollers to her room.

"It's fine, Dad, I'm just... practicing for the opposite gender play for school!"

"oh, okay honey, try making your voice lower, you squeak!"

"Hey!" the boy growls

"I think I know what you are." Bella exclaimed.

"no.. no! NO!! don't say it! it could kill us both!"