Do Not Read This.

Do Not Read This.

Trying to make the beginning of a Fantasy novel. Not sure if I'll keep this version, I've restarted about 10 different ways, so probably not. Oh well, enjoy. Please give comments, suggestions, critiques, I would love to be a great writer one day ;)

published on April 17, 2013not completed

Training; Like Most Days.

"Again." The man commanded for the umpth time. I struggle to my shaky feet. After a second of heavy breathing, I charge after my father, a slender man of over 6 feet in height. I throw an exhausted punch to his middle. I'm too slow in my fatigue. The male easily catches my thin wrist and twists it painfully behind my back, turning me so that I face away. I yell out and my father shoves me to the ground. I barely catch myself in time, my palms scrape on the uneven brick ground in the thin alleyway. I roll to my side with a groan and clutch my arm.
     "Again." He says, yet again. I squeeze my eyes shut and don't respond. My hands sting and bleed lightly as this isn't the first time they've hit the brick tonight, and they haven't healed from the last session similar to this. A boot flies into my exposed ribs. I let out a holler and my side seems to explode in pain. I forget about my arm. With watery eyes, I scramble back to my feet with a protective hand over my side. "You were vulnerable. Weak." He spits. A tear rolls down my face and I hurry to wipe it. I am not weak.
     I rush forward to attack again, with renewed strength in my anger.
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Comments (24)

you know what
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on July 14, 2015
Good. ;)
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on July 17, 2014
Will you please continue? You're a really really really really really really really really really really really really really really talented writer!
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on June 06, 2014
O.o *that moment when you think your writing sucks... and you've people who really like it. That's when you know you are too picky with your own stuff* XD
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on October 21, 2013
this is good
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on October 09, 2013
OMG WHEN DOES THE BOOK COME OUT
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on October 08, 2013
You know if you title it do not read it most peoples natural instinct is to read it xD
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on August 27, 2013
Good but well confusing
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on May 04, 2013
I would like everyone to know that Qfeast automatically Copyrights all works that are posted through this site. Though yes, I think I will take off the chapters... >.>
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on April 23, 2013
Liked it, but if something you write is really good then don't post it on the Internet for too long, someone might take it.
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on April 23, 2013
write more!
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on April 23, 2013
Thanks guys :D It means a ton, no joke :3
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on April 18, 2013
.........YOU NEED TO WITE MORE OR I WILL DIE!!!!!!!!! =P
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on April 18, 2013
Its amazingly,I loved it
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on April 18, 2013
Thanks Marge!! XD
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on April 18, 2013
AWESOME!!!!!!! I agree with everybody else:D
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on April 18, 2013
I'm working on it right now, Big Mac!!
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on April 18, 2013
Soo Good! I want to know what she's training for so add more soon... please!
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on April 17, 2013
thanks Clove ;) Means a ton when I see/hear others loving a piece of writing I created XD
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on April 17, 2013
I love this, you have great talent :)
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on April 17, 2013
Thanks Beauty!! ;) I will and you will find out that the father is mentally ill... etc.
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on April 17, 2013
I like the idea! I agree with Steph, what is the training about? Anyway, you should continue!
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on April 17, 2013
Thanks!! ;) Usually I don't stick to a story- obviously check out the stories I've made and they are never finished XD And this story I have rewritten several times... oh well- I will keep with this one for Qfeast!
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on April 17, 2013
I see that your already becoming a great writer. This story is off to a good start and it leaves the reader to thinking: "why is she training?" I love stories like this that make the reader think and wonder you know? It's a good start and very interesting/enjoyable to read. Please continue on with this and let me know when you right more.

-Steph<3 =)
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on April 17, 2013