adding onto last night’s rant i hate seeing undiagnosed people very obviously pretending to have a disorder that’s literally fuckking ruining my social life. its not a cute quirky little trait, it’s a genuine mental illness that we have no control over and ive had to accept that i’ll probably never be able to have a healthy relationship because of it but sureeee ur so “manic” go cut ur hair rn
kafka
@McFaggot def not all of them but people treating bpd like it’s something it’s not is such a huge part of the reason why those who need treatment can’t access it. the amount of times i’ve been told that “bpd doesn’t make you act like that” when it literally does but nobody knows about it because the media is so focused on destigmatizing it…
on March 13, 2023
McFaggot
ive literally dated someone w bpd , im not saying i regretted it but like it was one of the worst ones especially cus they couldnt get the proper care for it. i ‘m not saying all relationships w bpd ppl are bad but ..
on March 13, 2023
on March 13, 2023
ranting on qfeast dot com j bc i feel like it’s the only place nobody will listen and i don’t want my friends to see this anyways j ignore lolsies oops
i fuckking hate having bpd. i hate how all i can do to make myself feel real is seek validation. it does nothing but get me into trouble and ruin my life and just idk i’m so tired. im sick of constantly being told that my disorder doesn’t make me a bad person while i know full well that if i didn’t have it i’d be less of a dick. See More also i wouldn’t have been taken advantage of my sophomore year. i would be a decent person and maybe even the kind of girl you could bring home to your parents or something but i hate knowing that all i’ll ever be to anyone is this image of a girl that looks good from afar idfk. im damaged to the point where it’s just damage. not even in a cool artsy way im just fuckked up bad
i fuckking hate having bpd. i hate how all i can do to make myself feel real is seek validation. it does nothing but get me into trouble and ruin my life and just idk i’m so tired. im sick of constantly being told that my disorder doesn’t make me a bad person while i know full well that if i didn’t have it i’d be less of a dick. See More also i wouldn’t have been taken advantage of my sophomore year. i would be a decent person and maybe even the kind of girl you could bring home to your parents or something but i hate knowing that all i’ll ever be to anyone is this image of a girl that looks good from afar idfk. im damaged to the point where it’s just damage. not even in a cool artsy way im just fuckked up bad
on March 13, 2023
life has been pretty decent + ok lately? updates
-midterms r next week, but they’re not bad bc it’s just music theory stuff
-may be forming a folk duo and/or band with this one dude
-currently 4 seasons into south park
-birthday in 2 weeks im so old
-i’ve decided that this summer im going to actually be productive, whether i stay in chi or go to ohio for the summer im going to be working (preferably blue collar bc i need to stay fit)
-getting my tattoo very soon!!!!! the See More elliott smith one!!!!
-now that it’s almost not winter anymore i’m hoping i’ll stop feeling like shit most of the time
-midterms r next week, but they’re not bad bc it’s just music theory stuff
-may be forming a folk duo and/or band with this one dude
-currently 4 seasons into south park
-birthday in 2 weeks im so old
-i’ve decided that this summer im going to actually be productive, whether i stay in chi or go to ohio for the summer im going to be working (preferably blue collar bc i need to stay fit)
-getting my tattoo very soon!!!!! the See More elliott smith one!!!!
-now that it’s almost not winter anymore i’m hoping i’ll stop feeling like shit most of the time
on March 12, 2023
date was fun even tho we literally almost got hit by a bus (it was our fault because we jaywalked) i instinctively grabbed their arm for some reason but i don’t think i made things awkward probably
on March 12, 2023
my school sent out a crime advisory bc somebody walked up to someone and tripped them (there was no coverage on the lady that got hit by a truck and died a few weeks back) (or on the random old men that j walk around actively masturbating)
oh also if they reallyyyyy wanna get on the crime in chicago they should help me get financial compensation for my stolen/damaged property and damage fees from when my ex roommates broke into my room and trashed it ?
on March 11, 2023
on March 11, 2023
i love thigh high stockings/pleated skirt combo. makes me feel breedable (i have endometriosis and there is so much scar tissue inside my uterus i am most likely infertile)
on March 11, 2023
like one week til i see crywank again
on March 11, 2023
on March 11, 2023
also i wanna re write the high society boys slightly. they were j supposed to be silly guys but i can def make stories about them
on March 11, 2023
tbh last summer was peak qfeast when we were posting pictures of our feet and using that fake account to get kids passwords and make their bios say ballsack and before 90% of the ppl on this website who aren’t literally middle schoolers turned out to kind of be dickwads who left me at my lowest
on March 11, 2023
seeing cocaine bear later ?‼️
on March 05, 2023
small update hung out w this dude from class last night he’s cool + we might b making a band
on March 03, 2023
tbh i am so good at naming characters “reggie” is so perfect 4 rex w the whole “grandpa sells weed” thing tbh
on March 02, 2023
on March 02, 2023
uhhhh more updates
-seeing mustard service on april 22 and crywank on march 18th
-almost 19 which is crazy.
-tbh things have been a little rocky. i’ve been having panic attacks since last monday n i think it has something to do with the whole “old woman got hit by a car while you were on your way to class and she died and you were there and you feel shitty” thing. also my emetophobia has been worse than it has been in years. my friend (who i am very much still romantic involved See More w) has been helping me w that
-doin great in school!!! all a’s currently!!
-were up to 12 plants now. i bought a pipe jade to put in a cute cat shaped flowerpot i found, and my snake plant grew a pup and it got big enough to separate, so i put it in its own pot and it’s doing very well
-i’ve gotten into audio, hopefully will have the time and motivation to finish producing this album soon
-i’ve stepped away from drugs quite a bit !! nothin wrong w a little za every now n again but im no longer consuming mass quantities of edibles every night that i don’t have to wake up early and getting so high i can’t move. (my weed got confiscated and my former plug turned out to b a total cuntt so i narced so even if i wanted to i couldn’t)
-looking for a therapist/psychiatrist in chi. really wanna look more into the whole “potential schizospec diagnosis” thing
-seeing mustard service on april 22 and crywank on march 18th
-almost 19 which is crazy.
-tbh things have been a little rocky. i’ve been having panic attacks since last monday n i think it has something to do with the whole “old woman got hit by a car while you were on your way to class and she died and you were there and you feel shitty” thing. also my emetophobia has been worse than it has been in years. my friend (who i am very much still romantic involved See More w) has been helping me w that
-doin great in school!!! all a’s currently!!
-were up to 12 plants now. i bought a pipe jade to put in a cute cat shaped flowerpot i found, and my snake plant grew a pup and it got big enough to separate, so i put it in its own pot and it’s doing very well
-i’ve gotten into audio, hopefully will have the time and motivation to finish producing this album soon
-i’ve stepped away from drugs quite a bit !! nothin wrong w a little za every now n again but im no longer consuming mass quantities of edibles every night that i don’t have to wake up early and getting so high i can’t move. (my weed got confiscated and my former plug turned out to b a total cuntt so i narced so even if i wanted to i couldn’t)
-looking for a therapist/psychiatrist in chi. really wanna look more into the whole “potential schizospec diagnosis” thing
on March 01, 2023
seeing people refer to people who found this site in 2020 as “old qfeasters” makes me feel ancient i came here in 2015 idek why i’m still here
on February 26, 2023
on February 26, 2023