lowkey my baton twirling arc was so embarrassing why was i straight
kafka
also had a brief relationship w one of my coaches (he was almost ten years older than me at the time)
on March 31, 2023
on March 31, 2023
chicago allergies violent im hardly ever allergic to anything but jesus my nose and eyes r burning rn
on March 30, 2023
im so obsessed with elliott smith rn. its actually embarrassing and unhealthy.
on March 28, 2023
i think i need to de yassify myself im sick of men treating me like an animal in the zoo
on March 27, 2023
my current music is just
-alcoholism
-alcoholism pt 2
-long distance pining
-identity crisis
-in love with every little thing
-i so desperately want to be good enough to be loved by anyone at all but i know that’s basically impossible because i’m scared See More
-unfinished and written as a school project
-basically just added chord ms to a suicide note
-ultra rare not depressing song
-huge collaborative project
-i listened to SO MUCH radiohead when i wrote this and it’s obvious
-alcoholism pt 3
-long distance pining (with heavy focus on the long distance)
-long distance pining (with heavy focus on the pining)
-about previous suicide attempt
-ohio bad
-i realized i can say fuckk in my songs
-everything is boring and nothing matters
-alcoholism
-alcoholism pt 2
-long distance pining
-identity crisis
-in love with every little thing
-i so desperately want to be good enough to be loved by anyone at all but i know that’s basically impossible because i’m scared See More
-unfinished and written as a school project
-basically just added chord ms to a suicide note
-ultra rare not depressing song
-huge collaborative project
-i listened to SO MUCH radiohead when i wrote this and it’s obvious
-alcoholism pt 3
-long distance pining (with heavy focus on the long distance)
-long distance pining (with heavy focus on the pining)
-about previous suicide attempt
-ohio bad
-i realized i can say fuckk in my songs
-everything is boring and nothing matters
on March 26, 2023
i’ve actually had motivation for songs lately tbh but they’re all pure sad singer/songwriter bullshit that all sounds the same
on March 26, 2023
im trying to “hahaahaha silly little guy” my way through this but tbh things are getting rough again and i think i need to disappear off the face of the planet again
on March 26, 2023
im 19 now also my fish died wtf
on March 25, 2023
blw sends da worst tezt ever gets executed
on March 24, 2023
today was very? drank coffee, skipped class bc i eated too much ibuprofen and my stomach tried to kill itself, went to trader joe’s, cleaned da cave, ripped a bong, n kissed my friend
on March 24, 2023
birthday prezents so far
-painting of me (and it’s acc so insanely good i love her ugh)
-brownies
-cute lil card
-a joint lol
-a cactus
-a tattoo (not yet but am getting soon)
-painting of me (and it’s acc so insanely good i love her ugh)
-brownies
-cute lil card
-a joint lol
-a cactus
-a tattoo (not yet but am getting soon)
on March 24, 2023
life updates!!!!
-it’s been good again. it got really bad for a few days bc i had an aesthetic rare psychosis moment and for a few days i couldn’t sleep bc i heard voices and felt bugs under my skin but it stopped
-first full day in weeks where i didn’t have a panic attack
-gonna vigorously clean the apartment tomorrow and reward myself with a little bit of za
-i had acc planned on doing so today but i decided to do do some maintenance on my massive monstera plant bc it was See More getting so big it was falling over. trimmed back overgrowth, tied to a pole, took a cutting and hopefully will have another monstera soon
-harem has once again expanded
-two classes til spring break
-turning 19 on saturday and getting my tattoo soon!!!!
-chicago finally isn’t so cold it feels like skin will fall off
-it’s been good again. it got really bad for a few days bc i had an aesthetic rare psychosis moment and for a few days i couldn’t sleep bc i heard voices and felt bugs under my skin but it stopped
-first full day in weeks where i didn’t have a panic attack
-gonna vigorously clean the apartment tomorrow and reward myself with a little bit of za
-i had acc planned on doing so today but i decided to do do some maintenance on my massive monstera plant bc it was See More getting so big it was falling over. trimmed back overgrowth, tied to a pole, took a cutting and hopefully will have another monstera soon
-harem has once again expanded
-two classes til spring break
-turning 19 on saturday and getting my tattoo soon!!!!
-chicago finally isn’t so cold it feels like skin will fall off
on March 23, 2023
on March 20, 2023
this is The Night Ever /bad i can’t sleep bc i’m hyper aware of my body and the auditory hallucinations r going crazy
on March 18, 2023
today was inzane there was a gas leak in the fuckking audio building (while i was literally in my production class) and we had to evacuate
on March 16, 2023
