on December 11, 2021
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.
The cop asks the woman, “Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?”
She replies, “Well, there’s a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers.”
The cop asks, “So what did you do about it?”
The old lady says, “I See More get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks it through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!”
“That seems fair enough,” the cop says, “so what’s in the other sack?”
The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…
The cop asks the woman, “Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?”
She replies, “Well, there’s a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers.”
The cop asks, “So what did you do about it?”
The old lady says, “I See More get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks it through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!”
“That seems fair enough,” the cop says, “so what’s in the other sack?”
The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…
on December 11, 2021
on December 11, 2021
MAY I GIVE FREDRICK A COSTUME
on December 11, 2021
okay a bunch of emo jokes tw suicide, mentions of s*lf h*rm
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how do you get an emo out of a tree? cut the rope
i wish my grass was emo. that way it would cut itself-
whats the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? the phrase jump rope had completely different meanings for both
how do you win an argument against an emo? kick its chair
what do you call an emo strip club? su*cidal thots
when the school sh*oter walks past the emo kid and doesnt feel their gun anymore
how do emos compliment eachother? I LIKE YA CUT G-
an apple and an emo fall from a tree at the same time. which one hits the ground first? the apple.
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how do you get an emo out of a tree? cut the rope
i wish my grass was emo. that way it would cut itself-
whats the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? the phrase jump rope had completely different meanings for both
how do you win an argument against an emo? kick its chair
what do you call an emo strip club? su*cidal thots
when the school sh*oter walks past the emo kid and doesnt feel their gun anymore
how do emos compliment eachother? I LIKE YA CUT G-
an apple and an emo fall from a tree at the same time. which one hits the ground first? the apple.
on December 11, 2021
https://open.spotify.com/track/5xDvtMEqkjT0gPoMiffAge?si=41dfe9d9bab043e5
OKAY BUT THIS IS ACTUALLY A REALLY GOOD COVER-
OKAY BUT THIS IS ACTUALLY A REALLY GOOD COVER-
on December 11, 2021
JACK NO-
NO https://youtu.be/GWb-U-ggIWc?t=190
JACKS THE DUDE THAT WONT KILL ANYONE JUST WATCH UNTIL THE END OF THAT SKIT @BlueTheQuizWhiz97
JACKS THE DUDE THAT WONT KILL ANYONE JUST WATCH UNTIL THE END OF THAT SKIT @BlueTheQuizWhiz97
on December 11, 2021
on December 11, 2021
ha i have to piss really bad but im on the bus for the next 20-30 minutes
on December 10, 2021
if you have a thought that seems like an epiphany but isn't, is it an epiphanot?
on December 10, 2021
lmao i dont remember who ALL my kids are just some
on December 09, 2021
Look what personality I've got! What about you?
HMMMM what would my show be called-
HMMMM what would my show be called-
what kind of show would you run ?
comedy show
on December 09, 2021
best line ever "wow. you look like someone's gay uncle at the beach"
on December 09, 2021
fun fact in 1968 some yippies (political hippies!) ran a pig named Pigasus for president.
"Can't stand the presidential nominees? Sick of voting for people you can't believe in? Then vote for a flying pig instead!"
"Can't stand the presidential nominees? Sick of voting for people you can't believe in? Then vote for a flying pig instead!"
on December 09, 2021
on December 08, 2021
*starts a "controlled" fire*
on December 07, 2021