RayneCloud - Page 16

; Forgot. ;

I don’t know where my memories gone,
Replaced by fog in my dark mind, I try to get a good thing, only to find it’s only a con.
I tried so hard for you, only for someone else within me to use me as a pawn.
I love you so much and you may not see that.
Knowing that,, in the hospital, I’m secretly hoping my heart rate flats.
I waited a thousand years for you, darling. See More
Only to find I was just falling,
Falling deeper in love, deeper into madness, deeper into my dark state of mind, deeper in messed up thoughts. I can’t stop loving you.
I thought that it might’ve made me lighter than the clouds above.
But instead it overflowed my cracking heart, in my sea of tragedy.
I really tried for you, love. I really did. I hope you find someone better, someone that has a completely different mindset than me.
I don’t want you to mistake this for me saying that I want you to leave me be.
I can’t live without you, darling. That’s the sad truth.
I tried to build a shield to protect you from everything, to make myself bulletproof.
Instead I was the one wielding the gun, pointing it at both myself and you.
I need you here, love. You’re the only person I have left that will listen and understand.
I really hope in the end it was all just God's plan.

- Rayne Collier (October 3rd, 2023.)

; Complain ;

“Among the days where I feel pain,
I weirdly do not feel the need to complain.
At first, I strangely felt at home in this void,
But at the end of the day, I just felt paranoid.
I lodge the thought in my mind,
That I could just make time rewind. See More
I know it’s a false sense of security,
And I know you probably won’t understand this poem's extreme obscurity.
I look to the sky and see the birds fly,
I hope one day to fly with them, on the day I die.”

- Rayne Collier, September 29, 2023

; [ [ M.I.A. ] ] ;

I woke up on the grass underneath the weeping willow, and I had fallen asleep.
I looked at the sky and saw a deep black sky, the Sun waving the flag of defeat.
The shining sun burns my eyes, but still, I stare into the beautiful sunny rays.
I look to the east, where I see phantom lay.
My ghostly cat, Phantom’s, fur shines from the rays.
I call her back to me, but she turns back, See More
I cry, never forgetting her beautiful fur, that I’ll never see again, my memory now can’t remember her eyes.
I promised I’d never leave her side until my blood runs cold and we both die.
“I named her Mia for ‘missing in action’” My nana joked,
“I’ll never see or hear Phantom again.” I said as my voice broke.
This just shows the name Mia really did fit,
At her memorial shrine, my favorite candle in remembrance, finally had the courage to become lit.

“ = Ghosting = ”

The haunting memories of you laughing with me,
All from which, I try and flee.
I left you flowers on your doorstep that day,
But I watched you pick them up and just throw them away.
I watched your phantomic heart, smile away when you looked at him,
My hopes for your love, hanging onto a whim. See More
You probably just felt bad for me,
Even though you should’ve just left me be.
I’m ghosting everyone now, not knowing who has just kept me around,
The staring and the whispering so loud, I wish I had just drowned.
The people around me, disappearing one by one,
Watching them disappear is kinda fun.