My Poems because I can :}
Shout out @tinygoat! ; ; = Sad stuff I’m either going through or thinking about. - - = Normal poetry, something calm and nice. Or just something happy. [ ] = Sad stuff that’s either traumatized me, changed my life, or someone/something close to me that has passed on. [[ ]] = Something extremely traumatizing. == = Reference or Character writing. * * = Something made up that I came up with out of nowhere ? ? = A rant | | = Writing “ “ = Story + + = Something happy or about a friend or my Darling <3
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(Acrostic Poem for Jay <3 [Some words meant to be spelt have been broken sometimes because of the inconvenience of the letters :/])
Beloved, you are my guiding light
Every day with you feels so right
Autumn leaves may fall, but our love stays strong
Unique and special, you're where I belong
Treasure of my heart, you shine so bright
In your arms, everything seems just right See More
Full of beauty and grace in every way
Underneath the stars or skies of gray
Lovely soul that makes my world complete
Cherished moments with you feel like a dream
Alluring smile that lights up the room
Radiant presence that chases away gloom
Infinitely caring with each gesture and touch
Never failing to make me feel loved so much
Dancing together through the highs and lows
Forever connected as each moment flows
Joyful laughter ringing in my ears
Overflowing hearts free from fears
You are the reason for each beat within my chest
Only by your side do I truly feel blessed
Urge to hold you close and never let go
Rising tides of passion continue to grow
Everlasting love that will always stand true
Beloved, you are my guiding light
Every day with you feels so right
Autumn leaves may fall, but our love stays strong
Unique and special, you're where I belong
Treasure of my heart, you shine so bright
In your arms, everything seems just right See More
Full of beauty and grace in every way
Underneath the stars or skies of gray
Lovely soul that makes my world complete
Cherished moments with you feel like a dream
Alluring smile that lights up the room
Radiant presence that chases away gloom
Infinitely caring with each gesture and touch
Never failing to make me feel loved so much
Dancing together through the highs and lows
Forever connected as each moment flows
Joyful laughter ringing in my ears
Overflowing hearts free from fears
You are the reason for each beat within my chest
Only by your side do I truly feel blessed
Urge to hold you close and never let go
Rising tides of passion continue to grow
Everlasting love that will always stand true
on May 06
(Acrostic Poem for Jay [Some words meant to be spelt have been broken sometimes because of the inconvenience of the letters :/])
Beloved, you are the light that guides me,
Every moment with you is pure ecstasy.
Autumn leaves may fall and winters chill,
Underneath it all, our love remains still.
True as the stars above so bright,
In your arms, everything feels just right. See More
Fall deeper in love with each passing day,
Uplifting my soul in every way.
Love like a gentle breeze on a summer day,
Overflowing with warmth in every single way.
Vivid memories of us dance through my mind,
Each one sweeter than the last to find.
Loyal and true, you stand by my side,
Eager to protect and always provide.
Loving gestures fill my heart with glee,
Only you have ever truly loved me.
Very lucky I am to call you mine
Ease all troubles when your hand intertwines
You’re the missing piece completing me
Caring whispers in the silent night
Arms that hold me close and tight
Radiant smile lighting up my world
Intimacy between us swirling unfurled
Now and forever is where I want to be
Friendly face that greets me each morn
Risking it all for moments newborn
Incredible strength when life gets tough
Enamored hearts beating more than enough
Nurturing souls deeply intertwined
Delighting gaze that captivates mine alone
Every fault forgiven and easily atoned
Lovely laughter ringing like sweet chime
Our hearts synced harmoniously overtime
Veering off only towards happiness inclined
Endlessly devoted without any pretense
Xanadu of our own making beyond hence
Treasuring each precious moment we share
Right beside you is where I longingly stare
Ardent affection flowing beyond compare
Goodness personified within your caring flare
Embracing flaws with understanding grace
Xoxo's given which can't be erased
Traipsing through joyous times hand in hand
Rays of sunshine touch upon this enchanted land
Unwavering commitment throughout any trial
Exalted feelings greater than any worthwhile
Majestic bond cemented by an unbreakable seal
Beloved, you are the light that guides me,
Every moment with you is pure ecstasy.
Autumn leaves may fall and winters chill,
Underneath it all, our love remains still.
True as the stars above so bright,
In your arms, everything feels just right. See More
Fall deeper in love with each passing day,
Uplifting my soul in every way.
Love like a gentle breeze on a summer day,
Overflowing with warmth in every single way.
Vivid memories of us dance through my mind,
Each one sweeter than the last to find.
Loyal and true, you stand by my side,
Eager to protect and always provide.
Loving gestures fill my heart with glee,
Only you have ever truly loved me.
Very lucky I am to call you mine
Ease all troubles when your hand intertwines
You’re the missing piece completing me
Caring whispers in the silent night
Arms that hold me close and tight
Radiant smile lighting up my world
Intimacy between us swirling unfurled
Now and forever is where I want to be
Friendly face that greets me each morn
Risking it all for moments newborn
Incredible strength when life gets tough
Enamored hearts beating more than enough
Nurturing souls deeply intertwined
Delighting gaze that captivates mine alone
Every fault forgiven and easily atoned
Lovely laughter ringing like sweet chime
Our hearts synced harmoniously overtime
Veering off only towards happiness inclined
Endlessly devoted without any pretense
Xanadu of our own making beyond hence
Treasuring each precious moment we share
Right beside you is where I longingly stare
Ardent affection flowing beyond compare
Goodness personified within your caring flare
Embracing flaws with understanding grace
Xoxo's given which can't be erased
Traipsing through joyous times hand in hand
Rays of sunshine touch upon this enchanted land
Unwavering commitment throughout any trial
Exalted feelings greater than any worthwhile
Majestic bond cemented by an unbreakable seal
on May 06
Beautiful, you shine like a star
Amazing in every way you are
Lovely smile that lights up my day
Loving heart that never strays
Caring for me without a doubt
Friendly and kind, always reaching out
True to your word, faithful and strong See More
Cute as can be, where do I belong?
Extravagant gestures of love so pure
Incredible moments we both endure
Loyal through thick and thin, by my side
Loved beyond measure, filled with pride
Love of my life, you complete me
Forever grateful for the love we see
Amazing in every way you are
Lovely smile that lights up my day
Loving heart that never strays
Caring for me without a doubt
Friendly and kind, always reaching out
True to your word, faithful and strong See More
Cute as can be, where do I belong?
Extravagant gestures of love so pure
Incredible moments we both endure
Loyal through thick and thin, by my side
Loved beyond measure, filled with pride
Love of my life, you complete me
Forever grateful for the love we see
on May 06
(Acrostic Poem for Jay<3)
Beloved one, so true and kind
Every moment with you is a treasure to find
All my worries fade away in your embrace
Uplifted by the beauty of your face
The way you care for me is beyond compare
In your loving arms, I always find solace See More
Fiercely loyal and incredibly sweet
Unwavering love that can't be beat
Loved more deeply than words can say
Devoted to each other come what may
Everlasting bond that will never break
Caring for each other with every breath we take
Beloved one, so true and kind
Every moment with you is a treasure to find
All my worries fade away in your embrace
Uplifted by the beauty of your face
The way you care for me is beyond compare
In your loving arms, I always find solace See More
Fiercely loyal and incredibly sweet
Unwavering love that can't be beat
Loved more deeply than words can say
Devoted to each other come what may
Everlasting bond that will never break
Caring for each other with every breath we take
on May 06
Beautiful soul, so full of grace
Amazing eyes that light up my world
Lovely smile that warms my heart
Loving you is the best part
Caring heart that knows no bounds
Friendly spirit that lifts me up
True love that never wavers See More
Cute quirks that I adore
Extravagant gestures of affection
Incredible moments we share
Loyal companion through thick and thin
Loved more than words can express
Love of my life, my everything
Amazing eyes that light up my world
Lovely smile that warms my heart
Loving you is the best part
Caring heart that knows no bounds
Friendly spirit that lifts me up
True love that never wavers See More
Cute quirks that I adore
Extravagant gestures of affection
Incredible moments we share
Loyal companion through thick and thin
Loved more than words can express
Love of my life, my everything
on May 06
(Type of poem: Acrostic Poem)
(Poem for: Jay, like all the love poems <3)
Boundless beauty, you are a vision divine
Every moment with you feels like a sweet serenade
Astonishingly amazing, my heart is truly thine
Understanding and caring, in your love I never fade
My friend and lover, always by my side See More
In your arms, I find solace and peace reside
Never have I known such a love so true
Devoted to each other, me and you
Charming and cute with a smile so bright
Radiating joy in the darkest of night
Ever so extravagant in all that you do
Dazzling me with every hue
Incredible is the bond we share
No other love could ever compare
Cascading waves of emotions flow free
Revealing our hearts for all to see
Eternal loyalty wrapped in your embrace
Forever cherished in this blissful grace
Gentle whispers of affection declare
Unwavering devotion beyond compare
Loved deeply by you, my soul's delight
Overwhelmed by feelings pure and right
Vanquishing doubts with endless care
Everything about us feels just rare
Oh how grateful am I for your love divine
Fulfilling my days with joy like fine wine
Magnificent moments shared together true
Endlessly thankful for finding someone like you
Life without you seems unfathomable now
Of this great love we vow
Vowing to stand by each other through thick or thin
Eternal allies bound from within
Forever blessed by the heavens above
Overflowing hearts bursting with love
Ready to face any obstacle as one
Each day brighter than the morning sun
And so here I pledge to thee
Mirroring back the love that sets me free
You are the reason my spirit has taken flight
Lovely angel guiding me through life’s darkest night
Irreplaceable treasures found only in shaped after an unbreakable mold
Visionary dreams unfolding as our hands tightly hold
Exceptional moments cherished deep within
Living proof that true loves exists even among opposites, I knew before you, my love. It makes me grin.
(Poem for: Jay, like all the love poems <3)
Boundless beauty, you are a vision divine
Every moment with you feels like a sweet serenade
Astonishingly amazing, my heart is truly thine
Understanding and caring, in your love I never fade
My friend and lover, always by my side See More
In your arms, I find solace and peace reside
Never have I known such a love so true
Devoted to each other, me and you
Charming and cute with a smile so bright
Radiating joy in the darkest of night
Ever so extravagant in all that you do
Dazzling me with every hue
Incredible is the bond we share
No other love could ever compare
Cascading waves of emotions flow free
Revealing our hearts for all to see
Eternal loyalty wrapped in your embrace
Forever cherished in this blissful grace
Gentle whispers of affection declare
Unwavering devotion beyond compare
Loved deeply by you, my soul's delight
Overwhelmed by feelings pure and right
Vanquishing doubts with endless care
Everything about us feels just rare
Oh how grateful am I for your love divine
Fulfilling my days with joy like fine wine
Magnificent moments shared together true
Endlessly thankful for finding someone like you
Life without you seems unfathomable now
Of this great love we vow
Vowing to stand by each other through thick or thin
Eternal allies bound from within
Forever blessed by the heavens above
Overflowing hearts bursting with love
Ready to face any obstacle as one
Each day brighter than the morning sun
And so here I pledge to thee
Mirroring back the love that sets me free
You are the reason my spirit has taken flight
Lovely angel guiding me through life’s darkest night
Irreplaceable treasures found only in shaped after an unbreakable mold
Visionary dreams unfolding as our hands tightly hold
Exceptional moments cherished deep within
Living proof that true loves exists even among opposites, I knew before you, my love. It makes me grin.
on May 06
Beloved one, so true and kind
Every moment with you is a treasure to find
All my worries fade away in your embrace
Uplifted by the beauty of your face
The way you care for me is beyond compare
In your loving arms, I always find solace
Fiercely loyal and incredibly sweet See More
Unwavering love that can't be beat
Loved more deeply than words can say
Devoted to each other come what may
Everlasting bond that will never break
Caring for each other with every breath we take
Every moment with you is a treasure to find
All my worries fade away in your embrace
Uplifted by the beauty of your face
The way you care for me is beyond compare
In your loving arms, I always find solace
Fiercely loyal and incredibly sweet See More
Unwavering love that can't be beat
Loved more deeply than words can say
Devoted to each other come what may
Everlasting bond that will never break
Caring for each other with every breath we take
on May 06
Beautiful in every way,
Amazing is what you are,
Lovely beyond compare,
Loving me with all your heart,
Caring for my every need.
Friendly and always kind,
True through thick and thin, See More
Cute as can be,
Extravagant in your love for me,
Incredible in everything you do.
Loyal to the end,
Loved by me forevermore.
Love of my life,
I am truly blessed to have you by my side.
Amazing is what you are,
Lovely beyond compare,
Loving me with all your heart,
Caring for my every need.
Friendly and always kind,
True through thick and thin, See More
Cute as can be,
Extravagant in your love for me,
Incredible in everything you do.
Loyal to the end,
Loved by me forevermore.
Love of my life,
I am truly blessed to have you by my side.
on May 06
(For Ryu, one of my alters/personalities :})
+Ryu+
Ryu, the meaning of her name being ‘mother’.
The life before this, being part of another.
The kids would come back from school and she would smile.
Her kids knew, just to get them a simple glass of water, she would walk as far as a mile.
+Ryu+
Ryu, the meaning of her name being ‘mother’.
The life before this, being part of another.
The kids would come back from school and she would smile.
Her kids knew, just to get them a simple glass of water, she would walk as far as a mile.
on May 06
This one was for my deceased dog, Lola. I had gotten her when I was 2 or 3. 2011/2012 - 2021. R.I.P. Love you Lola.
“ ; [ Lola ] ; ”
My dog Lola was my pet since I was 2. She passed from cancer in her back legs. We had to ask vet to vet to vet trying to find someone who can help. But they all pointed us towards another one, when we finally got to one, it was too late. We had to put her down. She taught the puppies we got to not use the bathroom on the floor by barking and growling See More at them when they tried. She was loyal and never left our side. She was my best friend. I cried miserably that night. When I had heard earlier, I was in shock. I had no reaction at first. But later, I realized I’d never see her again. That was the worst part. I’d never get to see her beautiful face again.
“ ; [ Lola ] ; ”
My dog Lola was my pet since I was 2. She passed from cancer in her back legs. We had to ask vet to vet to vet trying to find someone who can help. But they all pointed us towards another one, when we finally got to one, it was too late. We had to put her down. She taught the puppies we got to not use the bathroom on the floor by barking and growling See More at them when they tried. She was loyal and never left our side. She was my best friend. I cried miserably that night. When I had heard earlier, I was in shock. I had no reaction at first. But later, I realized I’d never see her again. That was the worst part. I’d never get to see her beautiful face again.
on May 06
== Fall. ==
The leaves fall from the tree we used to lay underneath. We used to look at the stars from underneath it,
The leaves fall like how I fell for you, when you had to leave, I always threw a fit.
The cold air, as cold as you were towards me,
The wind, as sickly sweet as your smile. Why couldn’t you just have left me be?
I was drowning by myself, but I was happy, I was smiling,
Now I feel as if there’s no reason to smile towards anyone. Now my anxiety is simply piling. See More
I look at you, across the hallway, wanting to smile but instead frowning more,
For I could only remember the times you made my sapphire-like eyes pour.
The icy rain covers my tears for me,
I let its icy embrace take me away from here, knowing I can’t flee.
I feel numb from the frostbite taking the pain away,
Letting my pain free from the unbearable prison cell I myself had created, to keep them at bay.
I wanted to be happy for you,
But now that you’re gone, I can finally leave this plain,
Now I have no reason to act sane.
- Rayne Collier (October 12, 2023)
(Note: Inspired by "My R" by Lollia and "The Fall" by Lovejoy.)
The leaves fall from the tree we used to lay underneath. We used to look at the stars from underneath it,
The leaves fall like how I fell for you, when you had to leave, I always threw a fit.
The cold air, as cold as you were towards me,
The wind, as sickly sweet as your smile. Why couldn’t you just have left me be?
I was drowning by myself, but I was happy, I was smiling,
Now I feel as if there’s no reason to smile towards anyone. Now my anxiety is simply piling. See More
I look at you, across the hallway, wanting to smile but instead frowning more,
For I could only remember the times you made my sapphire-like eyes pour.
The icy rain covers my tears for me,
I let its icy embrace take me away from here, knowing I can’t flee.
I feel numb from the frostbite taking the pain away,
Letting my pain free from the unbearable prison cell I myself had created, to keep them at bay.
I wanted to be happy for you,
But now that you’re gone, I can finally leave this plain,
Now I have no reason to act sane.
- Rayne Collier (October 12, 2023)
(Note: Inspired by "My R" by Lollia and "The Fall" by Lovejoy.)
on April 25
+ You, Darling +
You, my darling, may doubt my words and doubt yourself,
But this poem is made for you and only you.
They are the love of my life.
They are the light to my soul.
They are the cause for the smile on my face every day.
They're the reason I’m the bubbly person everyone knows me as. See More
They are the best part of my life.
They are my favorite memory and the person I want to make new memories with.
They make me happier than anyone ever has before.
They let me be myself.
They let me speak, even if it’s about something stupid.
They give me my joy.
They make me feel cared about and feel loved.
They make me smile even on my darkest days.
They stay by my side so I have a shoulder to cry on.
I love them more than myself.
I love them more than life itself.
I’m not going to lie, I’m afraid I’ll mess it all up.
Scared I’ll lose you, even though you say you won’t leave.
This is meant to tell you I need you to stay, my shooting star in the dark night of my thoughts.
I need you for my own health, almost as if you’re my medication.
I won’t ask for what you don’t want to give.
All I ask for is for your heart and love.
And I’ll offer my heart, love, soul, body, and protection.
Because my love, you make my heart beat, my love blossom, my body crave your touch, even if it’s just a poke, my protectiveness strong.
I want someone like you to need me and love me.
You’re the only one I can think about.
You’re the only one who I truly worry about 24/7.
You’re the only one for me and my heart.
You’re the one that I want in my life for the rest of it until I’m in the grave.
Because, you Darling,
Fill my lungs with air that keeps me alive.
I love you more than life itself, never forget I’ll stay here for as long as you need me to or the day you finally want to get rid of me. Because I won’t leave you alone, No matter what.
Point is, I love you more than anything. I want you and only you. If you weren’t you, I’d punch the person pretending to be and search the Earth for the real one I love.
I want to protect you.
I want to make sure you are okay.
I want to make you feel safe in my presence and in my arms’ loving embrace.
You, Darling, are my life.
- Rayne Collier
You, my darling, may doubt my words and doubt yourself,
But this poem is made for you and only you.
They are the love of my life.
They are the light to my soul.
They are the cause for the smile on my face every day.
They're the reason I’m the bubbly person everyone knows me as. See More
They are the best part of my life.
They are my favorite memory and the person I want to make new memories with.
They make me happier than anyone ever has before.
They let me be myself.
They let me speak, even if it’s about something stupid.
They give me my joy.
They make me feel cared about and feel loved.
They make me smile even on my darkest days.
They stay by my side so I have a shoulder to cry on.
I love them more than myself.
I love them more than life itself.
I’m not going to lie, I’m afraid I’ll mess it all up.
Scared I’ll lose you, even though you say you won’t leave.
This is meant to tell you I need you to stay, my shooting star in the dark night of my thoughts.
I need you for my own health, almost as if you’re my medication.
I won’t ask for what you don’t want to give.
All I ask for is for your heart and love.
And I’ll offer my heart, love, soul, body, and protection.
Because my love, you make my heart beat, my love blossom, my body crave your touch, even if it’s just a poke, my protectiveness strong.
I want someone like you to need me and love me.
You’re the only one I can think about.
You’re the only one who I truly worry about 24/7.
You’re the only one for me and my heart.
You’re the one that I want in my life for the rest of it until I’m in the grave.
Because, you Darling,
Fill my lungs with air that keeps me alive.
I love you more than life itself, never forget I’ll stay here for as long as you need me to or the day you finally want to get rid of me. Because I won’t leave you alone, No matter what.
Point is, I love you more than anything. I want you and only you. If you weren’t you, I’d punch the person pretending to be and search the Earth for the real one I love.
I want to protect you.
I want to make sure you are okay.
I want to make you feel safe in my presence and in my arms’ loving embrace.
You, Darling, are my life.
- Rayne Collier
on April 25
; = My Mind is Like a Spider's Web. = ;
My mind wakes up, as well as my body,
When I look in the mirror, I feel like just somebody’s dolly.
I brush my teeth, but to no avail,
Again, it ends in one big fat yellow fail.
I look around, my horrid card vision clearly getting worse.
Sometimes, I wonder if at any moment, my eyes will burst. See More
I try and listen to my surroundings to try and distract my mind, shoving the fear down my throat,
Just another thing for me to cry about, excusing it as a way to cope.
When I try and listen, my ears’ infinite ringing gets worse and louder, when I cover my ears, the sound waves go back and forth, having no where to go.
Kinda sounds like somebody I know.
I smile and laugh in the light,
But I cry and die inside in the night.
I know on the surface it might seem like I’m just fine,
But I can’t eat, I barely sleep, sometimes I wanna run and hide.
Feels like I’m dying in this cage, my soul is trapped, I feel confined,
And I just wish they’d let me out, so I could finally live my life.
I’m not to give in if I have to fight,
But I’m willin’ to give in, rather die.
Lyin’ on my back, got no white flag to throw,
Even if I surrender, they’ll take my soul, even so.
When I need somebody the most, they never show,
But when they need me, they know I’ll answer.
It’s as though I have a target on my back, for all the weapons and venom they throw.
I’ve got nothing to show for it, even though,
I try to help anyone who needs it, if they’re drowning down below.
Been a tool my whole life, as I’ve shown,
But by myself I cry and I stand alone.
I want my ears,
Need to face my fears,
Can’t see clear,
My mind always terrified with fear,
That they’ll leave me behind and I’ll be on my own
Can’t see through all the tears,
You won’t see my fears,
I’m still standing alone here.
My mind is like a spider’s web, never letting go of me.
- Rayne Collier (no date, 2023)
My mind wakes up, as well as my body,
When I look in the mirror, I feel like just somebody’s dolly.
I brush my teeth, but to no avail,
Again, it ends in one big fat yellow fail.
I look around, my horrid card vision clearly getting worse.
Sometimes, I wonder if at any moment, my eyes will burst. See More
I try and listen to my surroundings to try and distract my mind, shoving the fear down my throat,
Just another thing for me to cry about, excusing it as a way to cope.
When I try and listen, my ears’ infinite ringing gets worse and louder, when I cover my ears, the sound waves go back and forth, having no where to go.
Kinda sounds like somebody I know.
I smile and laugh in the light,
But I cry and die inside in the night.
I know on the surface it might seem like I’m just fine,
But I can’t eat, I barely sleep, sometimes I wanna run and hide.
Feels like I’m dying in this cage, my soul is trapped, I feel confined,
And I just wish they’d let me out, so I could finally live my life.
I’m not to give in if I have to fight,
But I’m willin’ to give in, rather die.
Lyin’ on my back, got no white flag to throw,
Even if I surrender, they’ll take my soul, even so.
When I need somebody the most, they never show,
But when they need me, they know I’ll answer.
It’s as though I have a target on my back, for all the weapons and venom they throw.
I’ve got nothing to show for it, even though,
I try to help anyone who needs it, if they’re drowning down below.
Been a tool my whole life, as I’ve shown,
But by myself I cry and I stand alone.
I want my ears,
Need to face my fears,
Can’t see clear,
My mind always terrified with fear,
That they’ll leave me behind and I’ll be on my own
Can’t see through all the tears,
You won’t see my fears,
I’m still standing alone here.
My mind is like a spider’s web, never letting go of me.
- Rayne Collier (no date, 2023)
on April 25
; Forgot. ;
I don’t know where my memories gone,
Replaced by fog in my dark mind, I try to get a good thing, only to find it’s only a con.
I tried so hard for you, only for someone else within me to use me as a pawn.
I love you so much and you may not see that.
Knowing that,, in the hospital, I’m secretly hoping my heart rate flats.
I waited a thousand years for you, darling. See More
Only to find I was just falling,
Falling deeper in love, deeper into madness, deeper into my dark state of mind, deeper in messed up thoughts. I can’t stop loving you.
I thought that it might’ve made me lighter than the clouds above.
But instead it overflowed my cracking heart, in my sea of tragedy.
I really tried for you, love. I really did. I hope you find someone better, someone that has a completely different mindset than me.
I don’t want you to mistake this for me saying that I want you to leave me be.
I can’t live without you, darling. That’s the sad truth.
I tried to build a shield to protect you from everything, to make myself bulletproof.
Instead I was the one wielding the gun, pointing it at both myself and you.
I need you here, love. You’re the only person I have left that will listen and understand.
I really hope in the end it was all just God's plan.
- Rayne Collier (October 3rd, 2023.)
I don’t know where my memories gone,
Replaced by fog in my dark mind, I try to get a good thing, only to find it’s only a con.
I tried so hard for you, only for someone else within me to use me as a pawn.
I love you so much and you may not see that.
Knowing that,, in the hospital, I’m secretly hoping my heart rate flats.
I waited a thousand years for you, darling. See More
Only to find I was just falling,
Falling deeper in love, deeper into madness, deeper into my dark state of mind, deeper in messed up thoughts. I can’t stop loving you.
I thought that it might’ve made me lighter than the clouds above.
But instead it overflowed my cracking heart, in my sea of tragedy.
I really tried for you, love. I really did. I hope you find someone better, someone that has a completely different mindset than me.
I don’t want you to mistake this for me saying that I want you to leave me be.
I can’t live without you, darling. That’s the sad truth.
I tried to build a shield to protect you from everything, to make myself bulletproof.
Instead I was the one wielding the gun, pointing it at both myself and you.
I need you here, love. You’re the only person I have left that will listen and understand.
I really hope in the end it was all just God's plan.
- Rayne Collier (October 3rd, 2023.)
on April 25
; Complain ;
“Among the days where I feel pain,
I weirdly do not feel the need to complain.
At first, I strangely felt at home in this void,
But at the end of the day, I just felt paranoid.
I lodge the thought in my mind,
That I could just make time rewind. See More
I know it’s a false sense of security,
And I know you probably won’t understand this poem's extreme obscurity.
I look to the sky and see the birds fly,
I hope one day to fly with them, on the day I die.”
- Rayne Collier, September 29, 2023
“Among the days where I feel pain,
I weirdly do not feel the need to complain.
At first, I strangely felt at home in this void,
But at the end of the day, I just felt paranoid.
I lodge the thought in my mind,
That I could just make time rewind. See More
I know it’s a false sense of security,
And I know you probably won’t understand this poem's extreme obscurity.
I look to the sky and see the birds fly,
I hope one day to fly with them, on the day I die.”
- Rayne Collier, September 29, 2023
on April 25
; [ [ M.I.A. ] ] ;
I woke up on the grass underneath the weeping willow, and I had fallen asleep.
I looked at the sky and saw a deep black sky, the Sun waving the flag of defeat.
The shining sun burns my eyes, but still, I stare into the beautiful sunny rays.
I look to the east, where I see phantom lay.
My ghostly cat, Phantom’s, fur shines from the rays.
I call her back to me, but she turns back, See More
I cry, never forgetting her beautiful fur, that I’ll never see again, my memory now can’t remember her eyes.
I promised I’d never leave her side until my blood runs cold and we both die.
“I named her Mia for ‘missing in action’” My nana joked,
“I’ll never see or hear Phantom again.” I said as my voice broke.
This just shows the name Mia really did fit,
At her memorial shrine, my favorite candle in remembrance, finally had the courage to become lit.
I woke up on the grass underneath the weeping willow, and I had fallen asleep.
I looked at the sky and saw a deep black sky, the Sun waving the flag of defeat.
The shining sun burns my eyes, but still, I stare into the beautiful sunny rays.
I look to the east, where I see phantom lay.
My ghostly cat, Phantom’s, fur shines from the rays.
I call her back to me, but she turns back, See More
I cry, never forgetting her beautiful fur, that I’ll never see again, my memory now can’t remember her eyes.
I promised I’d never leave her side until my blood runs cold and we both die.
“I named her Mia for ‘missing in action’” My nana joked,
“I’ll never see or hear Phantom again.” I said as my voice broke.
This just shows the name Mia really did fit,
At her memorial shrine, my favorite candle in remembrance, finally had the courage to become lit.
on April 25
“ = Ghosting = ”
The haunting memories of you laughing with me,
All from which, I try and flee.
I left you flowers on your doorstep that day,
But I watched you pick them up and just throw them away.
I watched your phantomic heart, smile away when you looked at him,
My hopes for your love, hanging onto a whim. See More
You probably just felt bad for me,
Even though you should’ve just left me be.
I’m ghosting everyone now, not knowing who has just kept me around,
The staring and the whispering so loud, I wish I had just drowned.
The people around me, disappearing one by one,
Watching them disappear is kinda fun.
The haunting memories of you laughing with me,
All from which, I try and flee.
I left you flowers on your doorstep that day,
But I watched you pick them up and just throw them away.
I watched your phantomic heart, smile away when you looked at him,
My hopes for your love, hanging onto a whim. See More
You probably just felt bad for me,
Even though you should’ve just left me be.
I’m ghosting everyone now, not knowing who has just kept me around,
The staring and the whispering so loud, I wish I had just drowned.
The people around me, disappearing one by one,
Watching them disappear is kinda fun.
on April 25