A little rant because I'm hurting rn and I need to vent
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I constantly feel like I'm alone and abandoned. People say they have my back but the moment I try to speak it doesn't feel like they're listening. I've kind of given up hope in speaking let's be fair because nothing I say seems to be important. It doesn't matter how much I'm hurting because nobody cares, nobody is listening. People in real life constantly tell me how they're there for me as soon as I need it but when I'm breaking down I'm left to shatter in a million pieces because they're too far gone. I feel alone and I shouldn't feel alone because I have people around to talk to, but I feel like a burden and I just don't. I've bottled up emotions I didn't want to feel and I try to hide the truth about how I feel from others because I want them to think I'm a strong person but instead I'm weak and breaking. I have been for awhile, I've just been ignoring it. Trying to keep myself together using different methods that do not work. I've tried poetry, failed. Tdied writing, failed at that. Even tried art, why bother I'm never going to get far anyways. I try not to give up because I know if I give up I'll lose everything I've already achieved, but what's the point if you're not even happy.
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I constantly feel like I'm alone and abandoned. People say they have my back but the moment I try to speak it doesn't feel like they're listening. I've kind of given up hope in speaking let's be fair because nothing I say seems to be important. It doesn't matter how much I'm hurting because nobody cares, nobody is listening. People in real life constantly tell me how they're there for me as soon as I need it but when I'm breaking down I'm left to shatter in a million pieces because they're too far gone. I feel alone and I shouldn't feel alone because I have people around to talk to, but I feel like a burden and I just don't. I've bottled up emotions I didn't want to feel and I try to hide the truth about how I feel from others because I want them to think I'm a strong person but instead I'm weak and breaking. I have been for awhile, I've just been ignoring it. Trying to keep myself together using different methods that do not work. I've tried poetry, failed. Tdied writing, failed at that. Even tried art, why bother I'm never going to get far anyways. I try not to give up because I know if I give up I'll lose everything I've already achieved, but what's the point if you're not even happy.
trisntea.c
Try something physical. Whenever I feel upset or sad, I have this uncontrollable anger and I never knew how to get rid of all those negative emotions until I started roller skating. Roller skating isn't for everyone, but there are a ton of other fun activities to do it its not your thing. Trust me, when you finally find comfort in something like that, the world See More becomes a whole lot easier to deal with. I understand how you feel though, I used to feel useless, like I wasn't good at anything and that I was just in my brothers shadow. I was wrong, because I'm my own person and I just didn't find what made me feel useful yet. Please don't give up. I know you're probably tired of hearing this, but my pms are ALWAYS open. I'll be there, even if it only helps by just the slightest bit.
on May 31, 2020
on May 31, 2020
I constantly feel left out of the friend group
Honestly, it's not a surprise at this point. Nobody wants to be friends with me and that's fine. I'm mean, sarcastic and I don't talk very often so it's hard to tell whether I'm happy or not.
on May 31, 2020
on May 31, 2020
Me: -finishes chores like mom asked-
Mom: No, you don't need to dye your hair rn
WHO F'UCKING CALLED IT
Mom: No, you don't need to dye your hair rn
WHO F'UCKING CALLED IT
on May 31, 2020
"I want chores done before you dye your hair"
So, in other words I'm never getting my hair dyed because nothing is good enough for you. Okay.
So, in other words I'm never getting my hair dyed because nothing is good enough for you. Okay.
on May 31, 2020
on May 31, 2020
Pyre explaining how not to kill someone to Max is hilarious. It's like Rocket explaining which button to push with Groot, except Max doesn't listen at all.
on May 31, 2020
Now they're indirecting me smh
on May 31, 2020
Tfw you have this person on three different platforms so you use them to annoy them.
Also, this isn't me being spiteful. This guy is like a brother to me so I have to be the annoying younger sibling.
Also, this isn't me being spiteful. This guy is like a brother to me so I have to be the annoying younger sibling.
on May 31, 2020
A person is not following yet they're liking my stuff :/
I should specify they're not liking all of my stuff, it was just one of my post that I seen.
on May 31, 2020
@damien Sailor_Moon, if they were following me that would be fine. But they're not so that's weird.
on May 31, 2020
on May 31, 2020
Would anyone actually read my story?
on May 30, 2020
Don't hate me
Sokka is a bender, a gender bender
Okay I'm done, I thought it was hilarious don't hate me
Sokka is a bender, a gender bender
Okay I'm done, I thought it was hilarious don't hate me
on May 30, 2020
on May 30, 2020
Another potential spoiler for: Phoenix Rising
Also will warn you this gets a little emotional towards the end. These are just drafts, I'll start writing later when I feel confident enough to actually write.
Pyre: Doesn't the phoenix usually draw energy from the sun?
Lucille: In a sense, yes it kind of does. The abilities of the Phoenix is light, I can bend it and I can create it. On the days where the sun is gone the light society can't use their powers which is why Darrien See More struck during a solar eclipse to destroy our home. As the Phoenix my powers bring light to the world and create a chance for our people to still be able to fight... if I can't control my inner flame it'll destroy me like it did many years ago.
Pyre: So... are you like an actually Phoenix spirit that takes control of a person's body and that's why you're in Lucille's?
Lucille: No... I AM Lucille and I am the Phoenix. The reason why it's called the Phoenix is because if I die I get reborn and I have to keep rebuilding myself over and over again. The Phoenix flame is an energy force that cannot be destroyed, nor can it be taken-
Pyre: But your sister
Also will warn you this gets a little emotional towards the end. These are just drafts, I'll start writing later when I feel confident enough to actually write.
Pyre: Doesn't the phoenix usually draw energy from the sun?
Lucille: In a sense, yes it kind of does. The abilities of the Phoenix is light, I can bend it and I can create it. On the days where the sun is gone the light society can't use their powers which is why Darrien See More struck during a solar eclipse to destroy our home. As the Phoenix my powers bring light to the world and create a chance for our people to still be able to fight... if I can't control my inner flame it'll destroy me like it did many years ago.
Pyre: So... are you like an actually Phoenix spirit that takes control of a person's body and that's why you're in Lucille's?
Lucille: No... I AM Lucille and I am the Phoenix. The reason why it's called the Phoenix is because if I die I get reborn and I have to keep rebuilding myself over and over again. The Phoenix flame is an energy force that cannot be destroyed, nor can it be taken-
Pyre: But your sister
Part 1)
Lucille: Is stupid and manipulative, trying to claim what isn't hers! If she would only listen she'd know what would happen to her if she tried to take my powers -eyes begin to glow brightly, similar to the sun and her voice gets louder as the energy of the Phoenix begins to take over- She thinks that by destroying me she can take over what's rightfully See More hers, by doing that she is destroying an entire planet! That can't happen I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN! -a blast of energy leaves Lucille's body causing a wave of flames to travel through the air before disappearing suddenly. She returns to normal her eyes back to it's golden hue (will change later)-
Pyre: Well... you know the Phoenix is inside you, now you need to figure out how to control it.
Lucille: We figured out it was inside me the day we met at the hospital... the day I lost everything and it was because of you.
Lucille: Is stupid and manipulative, trying to claim what isn't hers! If she would only listen she'd know what would happen to her if she tried to take my powers -eyes begin to glow brightly, similar to the sun and her voice gets louder as the energy of the Phoenix begins to take over- She thinks that by destroying me she can take over what's rightfully See More hers, by doing that she is destroying an entire planet! That can't happen I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN! -a blast of energy leaves Lucille's body causing a wave of flames to travel through the air before disappearing suddenly. She returns to normal her eyes back to it's golden hue (will change later)-
Pyre: Well... you know the Phoenix is inside you, now you need to figure out how to control it.
Lucille: We figured out it was inside me the day we met at the hospital... the day I lost everything and it was because of you.
on May 30, 2020
Part 2)
Pyre: Lucille... how many times do I need to apologize, my job was to get you to safety! How was I-
Lucille: I'm not mad at you anymore Pyre, I know you didn't mean for this to happen... um just upset that it did happen. I know you meant well and you were trying to protect me, I just miss my family okay.
Pyre: I know what you mean, being on your own See More isn't fun... it's lonely. When my mother died in my arms the day I found out my calling all I felt was hatred towards the person who killed her. I unleashed a part of myself I had never seen before, I destroyed everything in my path the flames consumed me I was so angry. I wanted revenge and that's all I cared for, but that's changed now.
Pyre: Lucille... how many times do I need to apologize, my job was to get you to safety! How was I-
Lucille: I'm not mad at you anymore Pyre, I know you didn't mean for this to happen... um just upset that it did happen. I know you meant well and you were trying to protect me, I just miss my family okay.
Pyre: I know what you mean, being on your own See More isn't fun... it's lonely. When my mother died in my arms the day I found out my calling all I felt was hatred towards the person who killed her. I unleashed a part of myself I had never seen before, I destroyed everything in my path the flames consumed me I was so angry. I wanted revenge and that's all I cared for, but that's changed now.
on May 30, 2020
Part 3)
My mother may have died painfully but she died protecting me, and Tanira died protecting you. Our mother's had a job to do and they fulfilled it in death. Their job was to protect us from the dark lord and look at us now, alive and stronger than ever. If we build an army we can win this war and take Darrien down, we can save the people we lost we can See More rebuild the city that's fallen to ashes. We can rebuild our home and finally be at peace knowing we've fought this war and won. -walks over to the fire and grabs a piece of chicken then goes over to sit next to Lucille- so how does this whole Phoenix thing work?
Lucille: I have to try and remember stuff from my past according to this scroll.
Pyre: -sat next to Lucille eating chicken- So... have any memories of your past life?
-Will make it into an actual story soon, let me know if you'd actually read it-
My mother may have died painfully but she died protecting me, and Tanira died protecting you. Our mother's had a job to do and they fulfilled it in death. Their job was to protect us from the dark lord and look at us now, alive and stronger than ever. If we build an army we can win this war and take Darrien down, we can save the people we lost we can See More rebuild the city that's fallen to ashes. We can rebuild our home and finally be at peace knowing we've fought this war and won. -walks over to the fire and grabs a piece of chicken then goes over to sit next to Lucille- so how does this whole Phoenix thing work?
Lucille: I have to try and remember stuff from my past according to this scroll.
Pyre: -sat next to Lucille eating chicken- So... have any memories of your past life?
-Will make it into an actual story soon, let me know if you'd actually read it-
on May 30, 2020
on May 30, 2020
Possible Trigger Warning: It's just me complaining about how often people decide to hit me on the head.
Due to the amount of stuff thrown at my head, the amount of times my head has been hit by someone's hand, and the amount of times I've been hit with anything I jump when something passes my head. While I was working my friend decided to try and hit me in the back of the head, I quickly caught her arm and literally screamed. My manager looked up and I was pushing someone's See More arm away from me, I didn't get into trouble, it was pretty much self defense however if someone responds that way don't f'ucking do that. Yet she keeps hitting me, this isn't a f'ucking joke it scares the shit out of me. Don't touch me, don't hit me don't do anything!
Due to the amount of stuff thrown at my head, the amount of times my head has been hit by someone's hand, and the amount of times I've been hit with anything I jump when something passes my head. While I was working my friend decided to try and hit me in the back of the head, I quickly caught her arm and literally screamed. My manager looked up and I was pushing someone's See More arm away from me, I didn't get into trouble, it was pretty much self defense however if someone responds that way don't f'ucking do that. Yet she keeps hitting me, this isn't a f'ucking joke it scares the shit out of me. Don't touch me, don't hit me don't do anything!
@damien (this post is a rephrase of what I said)
Eh, I mean most of the time it was an accident and the other times it was jokingly and or some bullies. It's fine, but these are the main reasons why I'm jumpy.
Eh, I mean most of the time it was an accident and the other times it was jokingly and or some bullies. It's fine, but these are the main reasons why I'm jumpy.
on May 31, 2020
on May 30, 2020
When people assume I don't know shit about musicals :/ I made one comment saying how did I not notice the similarities of one part in Teen Beach movie to Hairspray. They're like "that's a common opener for like the 60s" or "Um... teen beach movie came AFTER hairspray" no shit, I know that stuff. I didn't ask anything about that stuff because I already KNOW! Jfc.
I get it if you're being nice, I'm not going to be rude but it does annoy me. If I didn't ask the question don't answer a question I didn't ask.
on May 30, 2020
on May 30, 2020
So, this girl I like is no longer dating anybody and I want to ask her out but I'm afraid she'll say no. I mean I'm not the best person to date... I try my best to be a good partner, but idk. I probably shouldn't even ask.
I say go for it. The worst that can happen is that she'll avoid you and your heart will hurt for lil' while. That seems horrible, but imagine if she says yes. It would SO outweigh the other possible outcome if you think she's really worth it :)
on May 30, 2020
on May 30, 2020
on May 30, 2020
on May 30, 2020