I would like to say that I'm not tired and everytime I am inactive on qfeast I'm not sleeping or in the state of panic, but I would be lying.
I can only sleep when it's morning so um? Why?
I can only sleep when it's morning so um? Why?
on May 11, 2020
I dreamt that I watched someone kill another person and I was trying to get them arrested. The killer managed to convince everyone she was innocent but I had law enforcement on my side, I also had recording of her confessions and her committing the crime. Which is one reason why she was trying to kill me. However, for some f'ucked up reason I had powers and I of course used them. The killer ended up having this boy fall in love with her and I was like "cool, cool" then I iced See More her ass after she confessed to killing two people in front of me and attempting to kill me and the other guy who loved her. I felt proud and the other guy just hated me for no damn reason, I'm sorry sir, I saved your goddamn life! How dare you hate me. Then I left and was killed by the girls parents, apparently they were a family of murderers and I got in the middle of their fun. The boy who fell in love with the girl was actually her husband trying to convince me that what I saw was fake... however it doesn't explain why she was trying to kill her husband :/
on May 11, 2020
I've binge watched this entire series and it's 3:00
@Edlitam_Inorram re-bingewatching the office as well. season 5 and i forgot how much dwight and angela made me cry
on May 12, 2020
@Edlitam_Inorram I binged watched Season 4 of Lucifer two days ago, Season 4 of inhumans yesterday, now I'm going to find a new series to binge.
on May 11, 2020
on May 11, 2020
on May 11, 2020
List of my characters from powerful to least powerful
1) Harry, he has sensitive hearing and has to wear special earphones to limit the amount of sound going into his ears. Without his earphones he magnifies the loud noise by 100,000 decibels making ears bleed and heads explode. He can also use it as a weapon, however the noise has to be extremely loud. The sound of a piano couldn't be used as a weapon, however a rock concert with cranked up volume could.
2) Anaya Hunt, she See More doesn't have powers really however she knows her ways around weapons and can kill basically anything. She's studied for years. Now, if she's introduced to a being much stronger than herself it'll take awhile to defeat.
There's more, and they can be defeated, they're not gods.
1) Harry, he has sensitive hearing and has to wear special earphones to limit the amount of sound going into his ears. Without his earphones he magnifies the loud noise by 100,000 decibels making ears bleed and heads explode. He can also use it as a weapon, however the noise has to be extremely loud. The sound of a piano couldn't be used as a weapon, however a rock concert with cranked up volume could.
2) Anaya Hunt, she See More doesn't have powers really however she knows her ways around weapons and can kill basically anything. She's studied for years. Now, if she's introduced to a being much stronger than herself it'll take awhile to defeat.
There's more, and they can be defeated, they're not gods.
on May 11, 2020
If Medusa were to get into a fight with Syrianna who would win? Honestly, it would most likely be a tie. Medusa is pretty strong, and Syrianna doesn't believe in violence.
This would involve research, I need to know this oml.
This would involve research, I need to know this oml.
on May 11, 2020
Day was going fine without screaming, that all changed :>
on May 11, 2020
Doesn't answer one time and my calls are spammed and I'm bitched to ? mother of the day reward.
on May 11, 2020
Came home to a bunch of trash in my yard and my mailbox busted open. :/ That upsets me.
on May 10, 2020
High School was rough
-Freshmen year I lost one of the friends I got close to, someone who made me feel wanted in this world, and got reunited with a friend who saw me as nothing but someone to manipulate and constantly hurt.
-Sophomore year I got into a relationship with a guy who constantly lied to me, got into numerous arguments that affected my mental health. Got into a relationship bad for my mental health and honestly scared the shit out of me. Later got dumped after I See More trusted him a lot and then got into another relationship that went down hill (different guy, he was actually really sweet, reason why it went down hill is because my mental health did)
-Junior year I got into a relationship with a guy who didn't respect me. Constantly got harassed to do something I didn't want to do, got touched repeatedly (once at work) and finally caved in to his demands even though I didn't want to do it. Hated myself. After a couple months got into a relationship with a girl who used me. She manipulated me and treated my like actual trash made me feel absolutely worthless. This was the literal down fall of my mental health. My confidence lowered, I lost trust in everyone except 3 people (Meg, Logan and Dathan). Started putting up walls and ended up ruining some relationships with other people. (My girlfriend at the time did a lot of horrible things some of which I didn't mention). Later removed myself from the situation, got dragged back in and spent majority of this year having mental breakdowns in class.
-Freshmen year I lost one of the friends I got close to, someone who made me feel wanted in this world, and got reunited with a friend who saw me as nothing but someone to manipulate and constantly hurt.
-Sophomore year I got into a relationship with a guy who constantly lied to me, got into numerous arguments that affected my mental health. Got into a relationship bad for my mental health and honestly scared the shit out of me. Later got dumped after I See More trusted him a lot and then got into another relationship that went down hill (different guy, he was actually really sweet, reason why it went down hill is because my mental health did)
-Junior year I got into a relationship with a guy who didn't respect me. Constantly got harassed to do something I didn't want to do, got touched repeatedly (once at work) and finally caved in to his demands even though I didn't want to do it. Hated myself. After a couple months got into a relationship with a girl who used me. She manipulated me and treated my like actual trash made me feel absolutely worthless. This was the literal down fall of my mental health. My confidence lowered, I lost trust in everyone except 3 people (Meg, Logan and Dathan). Started putting up walls and ended up ruining some relationships with other people. (My girlfriend at the time did a lot of horrible things some of which I didn't mention). Later removed myself from the situation, got dragged back in and spent majority of this year having mental breakdowns in class.
P1)
Yeah, so fun having people constantly question if you're alright and people messaging you harmful things. Then you find out you were being used yet again and then the person who left started abusing you again mentally and this time you gave Zero f'ucks and just left, making a new friend in the process. Then had a bunch of shit spread about you behind your See More back.
Yeah, so fun having people constantly question if you're alright and people messaging you harmful things. Then you find out you were being used yet again and then the person who left started abusing you again mentally and this time you gave Zero f'ucks and just left, making a new friend in the process. Then had a bunch of shit spread about you behind your See More back.
on May 10, 2020
P2)
One of which you trusted your friend to keep from people because it was the one secret you didn't want anyone to know because you were afraid of what others would say. But it got leaked anyways, anyways because anything someone could do for attention and to ruin your reputation. Not only did she do that but she lied about things and even though people didn't See More believe her it still hurt you because you trusted her and she just did all those things to get back at you.
-Senior year was a bit better, still had to deal with the person that exposed your secret and now was spreading more shit.
Your friend comes back and tries to make you become friends again. Fails. Your mental health continues to go down the drain because you lost the aunt you were attached to, you lost the cat you loved the most, you're starting to lose things important to you in your life, and on top of that everything is changing.
One of which you trusted your friend to keep from people because it was the one secret you didn't want anyone to know because you were afraid of what others would say. But it got leaked anyways, anyways because anything someone could do for attention and to ruin your reputation. Not only did she do that but she lied about things and even though people didn't See More believe her it still hurt you because you trusted her and she just did all those things to get back at you.
-Senior year was a bit better, still had to deal with the person that exposed your secret and now was spreading more shit.
Your friend comes back and tries to make you become friends again. Fails. Your mental health continues to go down the drain because you lost the aunt you were attached to, you lost the cat you loved the most, you're starting to lose things important to you in your life, and on top of that everything is changing.
on May 10, 2020
P3)
More arguments at home, more sense of loneliness the trust you were starting to build tumbling down because you're afraid to put your walls down again in fear you're just going to be abused again.
It's hard trying not to remind myself of what happened, I try not to remind myself. But I just can't. I hate myself, I HATE MYSELF! I've allowed myself to be See More screwed over many times and some of the stuff I didn't even mention! I'm hurting and my parents don't care because they don't even know because they don't bother to listen. I tried telling myself I was okay, but the more I did the more I hated myself the more I felt empty I can't stand it anymore. I can't be myself anymore, if I try my mom will shut me down. I can't open myself anymore, if I try the pain will just repeat itself. I've put so much trust in some people and it came to bite me in my f'ucking ass
More arguments at home, more sense of loneliness the trust you were starting to build tumbling down because you're afraid to put your walls down again in fear you're just going to be abused again.
It's hard trying not to remind myself of what happened, I try not to remind myself. But I just can't. I hate myself, I HATE MYSELF! I've allowed myself to be See More screwed over many times and some of the stuff I didn't even mention! I'm hurting and my parents don't care because they don't even know because they don't bother to listen. I tried telling myself I was okay, but the more I did the more I hated myself the more I felt empty I can't stand it anymore. I can't be myself anymore, if I try my mom will shut me down. I can't open myself anymore, if I try the pain will just repeat itself. I've put so much trust in some people and it came to bite me in my f'ucking ass
on May 10, 2020
P4)
I've slowly been broke down by people on my life and I don't know who to trust and everything is screaming at me. I've been dealing with my mom for years but this quarantine is going go be the end of it all.
I'm tired of suffering I don't want to cry anymore, my body hurts and my eyes are dry. I don't want to hurt. I'm tired of being afraid. I'm trying to See More stay positive, I'm trying but sometimes I just can't. I want to stop feeling alo
ne it hurts.
I've slowly been broke down by people on my life and I don't know who to trust and everything is screaming at me. I've been dealing with my mom for years but this quarantine is going go be the end of it all.
I'm tired of suffering I don't want to cry anymore, my body hurts and my eyes are dry. I don't want to hurt. I'm tired of being afraid. I'm trying to See More stay positive, I'm trying but sometimes I just can't. I want to stop feeling alo
ne it hurts.
on May 10, 2020
on May 10, 2020
Okay so tell me I'm not crazy
You get off work in a place 30 minutes from your house, you have to take the long way which is 45 minutes. During that time this car behind you follows you all the way to your town. Think nothing of it. Then you notice they've been following since you left your job, you raise suspicions. They keep following you so you turn into a gas station. The f'ucking do an illegal u-turn and turn on a road to go somewhere else when they passed the road they See More should have turned on. They showed no signs of stopping. They were tailing me I quickly went to the gas station and I didn't need anything. Ended up leaving with brisk though. This person had the same car as my f'ucking stalker ex who had been following me and my friend around.
Tell me that it wasn't a tiny bit suspicious? Granted yeah they could have lived in the same area but seriously...
You get off work in a place 30 minutes from your house, you have to take the long way which is 45 minutes. During that time this car behind you follows you all the way to your town. Think nothing of it. Then you notice they've been following since you left your job, you raise suspicions. They keep following you so you turn into a gas station. The f'ucking do an illegal u-turn and turn on a road to go somewhere else when they passed the road they See More should have turned on. They showed no signs of stopping. They were tailing me I quickly went to the gas station and I didn't need anything. Ended up leaving with brisk though. This person had the same car as my f'ucking stalker ex who had been following me and my friend around.
Tell me that it wasn't a tiny bit suspicious? Granted yeah they could have lived in the same area but seriously...
on May 10, 2020
on May 10, 2020
Did I go into a closet and close the door to open a bottle of pop just so I didn't get my ass kicked for being awake. Yes, yes I did.
on May 10, 2020
Okay okay tiny TW, and don't worry about anything
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"If you keep behaving like this you won't get very far in life"
True true, because if my life continues this way I may or may not lose it and do something I regret. I mean I've already imagined how I would do it, what I would right... honestly I probably shouldn't admit this but I've got it pretty much figured out. Only thing is I can't go through with it because 1) I'm afraid of knives which is why I haven't injured myself with them because they scare me to death (for a good reason), 2) I'm afraid of death, and 3) I'm not going to torment my younger brother and let him suffer alone with your bullshit. That's the only reason why I'm still alive, also... I couldn't hurt my friends (and Meg), hurting Meg is the worse thing I could ever do and I can't do that to her. I love Meg way too much to leave her.
That's the only reason I'm alive... and Tori and Lindsey might drag me out of hell and kick my ass for doing something stupid... that's another reason.
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"If you keep behaving like this you won't get very far in life"
True true, because if my life continues this way I may or may not lose it and do something I regret. I mean I've already imagined how I would do it, what I would right... honestly I probably shouldn't admit this but I've got it pretty much figured out. Only thing is I can't go through with it because 1) I'm afraid of knives which is why I haven't injured myself with them because they scare me to death (for a good reason), 2) I'm afraid of death, and 3) I'm not going to torment my younger brother and let him suffer alone with your bullshit. That's the only reason why I'm still alive, also... I couldn't hurt my friends (and Meg), hurting Meg is the worse thing I could ever do and I can't do that to her. I love Meg way too much to leave her.
That's the only reason I'm alive... and Tori and Lindsey might drag me out of hell and kick my ass for doing something stupid... that's another reason.
on May 10, 2020
on May 10, 2020
My headache is back again, and medication isn't helping it go away. :>
If you have peppermint oil, try rubbing it around your forehead, hairline, and temples. That helps my headaches more than medicine personally.
on May 10, 2020
on May 10, 2020