vent
i sit here wondering what the hell am i even doing with my life. im 17 with no job, not a single college appliction, and im mentally and phsycally exhausted constantly. im like. highkey scared for my furute bc yeah i know what i wnt to do but what if i never get there? what if i dont make it? what if i cant afford therapy, or my medication? what if I let people down? or let myself down? what if i fail? what if im unqualified for the job i want? what if i cant get over my See More stupid anxiety to get an actual job? what if i lose all my friends?
i know i can tackle these things, like appying for college and getting a job but im just. stressed y these small things that aren't important right now. like yeah college applications are important but everything just feels so meaningless and like. for what. literally why does my mind want to tell me that if doesnt matter. why is my brain telling me i dont matter. hy cant i get off my ass and do something worthwhile. all i do is school, draw, play shitty videogames, watch tv and sleep. why. am. i. here.
i sit here wondering what the hell am i even doing with my life. im 17 with no job, not a single college appliction, and im mentally and phsycally exhausted constantly. im like. highkey scared for my furute bc yeah i know what i wnt to do but what if i never get there? what if i dont make it? what if i cant afford therapy, or my medication? what if I let people down? or let myself down? what if i fail? what if im unqualified for the job i want? what if i cant get over my See More stupid anxiety to get an actual job? what if i lose all my friends?
i know i can tackle these things, like appying for college and getting a job but im just. stressed y these small things that aren't important right now. like yeah college applications are important but everything just feels so meaningless and like. for what. literally why does my mind want to tell me that if doesnt matter. why is my brain telling me i dont matter. hy cant i get off my ass and do something worthwhile. all i do is school, draw, play shitty videogames, watch tv and sleep. why. am. i. here.
on September 04, 2020
Tw I’m just angy
Even if it was a joke why the hell would you thumbs up something with Suicide mentions when the op is suicidal. It’s sick.
Even if it was a joke why the hell would you thumbs up something with Suicide mentions when the op is suicidal. It’s sick.
on September 02, 2020
on September 01, 2020
Me playing Minecraft during my algebra class to avoid a mental breakdown ??
on September 01, 2020
We love when our parents try to manage your screen time when we have nothing to do that doesn’t require our damn phones ??
on August 30, 2020
Rating my anxiety ‘ticks’ (dunno how else to word it)
Leg bouncing: 6/10
People don’t stare but I can’t control my leg when it wants to shimmy. When my parents notice they bother me. My sister tries to hold down my leg sometimes which is funny cause then the other leg shimmies and shakes.
Body twitches: 4/10
Random. People stare. Can’t stop them. I feel them coming though. They’re very sudden and it’s usually a full body thing.
Avoiding eye contact: 8/10
I dunno See More much abt this one I think it’s just annoying for the other person. Don’t worry, I’m listening, eye contact is hard and I get distracted.
Biting my lip/cheek/nails: 5/10
Effective but it hurts. No one really notices.
Fidgeting: 10/10
Very fun. Love it. Pen clicking is my favorite but I feel annoying.
Hand shaking: 7/10
I don’t do this one a lot but people sometimes stare and ask what’s up.
Leg bouncing: 6/10
People don’t stare but I can’t control my leg when it wants to shimmy. When my parents notice they bother me. My sister tries to hold down my leg sometimes which is funny cause then the other leg shimmies and shakes.
Body twitches: 4/10
Random. People stare. Can’t stop them. I feel them coming though. They’re very sudden and it’s usually a full body thing.
Avoiding eye contact: 8/10
I dunno See More much abt this one I think it’s just annoying for the other person. Don’t worry, I’m listening, eye contact is hard and I get distracted.
Biting my lip/cheek/nails: 5/10
Effective but it hurts. No one really notices.
Fidgeting: 10/10
Very fun. Love it. Pen clicking is my favorite but I feel annoying.
Hand shaking: 7/10
I don’t do this one a lot but people sometimes stare and ask what’s up.
Update
Hand shaking is now 8/10 I do it a lot more and I like it
Arm flailing is 6/10 helpful but people would stare
Hitting myself 2/10 hurts
Neck twitches 5/10 annoying and I can’t control them
Hand shaking is now 8/10 I do it a lot more and I like it
Arm flailing is 6/10 helpful but people would stare
Hitting myself 2/10 hurts
Neck twitches 5/10 annoying and I can’t control them
on November 05, 2020
on August 28, 2020
Pastel cutesy lingerie makes my heart ??????????????????????????????????????
on August 27, 2020
I woke up to a damn crime scene in my pants this morning how is everyone
on August 27, 2020
on August 27, 2020
on August 23, 2020
Me knowing I should leave this site because it’s fuckking my mental health but also using it as a coping mechanism to vent even tho it makes everything worse ?
on August 23, 2020
I’m such an asshole???
on August 21, 2020
Catch me literally starting to cry after voicing a genuine anxiety to my sister and she just tells me that it isn’t a big deal and to get over it hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha hahahahahahaha
on August 21, 2020
Gotta switch science classes anatomy was a mistake I AM NOT DISSECTING ANIMALS INHATE JT SO FUCKKING MUCH WHY WOULD YOU BREED ANINALS JUST TO KILL THEM AND WASTE THEM FOR US TO LOOK INSIDE THEIR BODIES
on August 21, 2020