TW: mention of $3lf h4rm and slight mention of s3w€rsl1de at the end
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so mu dumbass thought it would be funny to place a somwhat hot fork on my brothers arm, and the punched my arm for doing it. i said 'it doesnt even hurt' and hirted the fork back up and places it on my arm and not showing any reaction, he immediately said after 'congratulations you cvt youself'
i didnt know how to respond, i love my brother so much and jusy hearing him say that when he himself used to do it to, it jusy hurt me so much that i ended up breaking down crying, i wanted to be mad at him but then he came to my room with my noodles i was making (i left them on the stove because i didnt want to cry i front of him) and started comforting me
i want to be mad at him bit now i feel likes itll be rude of me and i feel like my emotions are invalid since he comforted me afterwards. i dont know why im like this but i feel like i cant go on much longer, he was asking me to stop cvtting if not for him for toby, buy its just getting so hard to wven wake up in the morning, at this point, i just want to send everyone i talk to a bunch a middle of the night 'i love you' text and then never respond or read what they say, and just finally be free from all of this
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so mu dumbass thought it would be funny to place a somwhat hot fork on my brothers arm, and the punched my arm for doing it. i said 'it doesnt even hurt' and hirted the fork back up and places it on my arm and not showing any reaction, he immediately said after 'congratulations you cvt youself'
i didnt know how to respond, i love my brother so much and jusy hearing him say that when he himself used to do it to, it jusy hurt me so much that i ended up breaking down crying, i wanted to be mad at him but then he came to my room with my noodles i was making (i left them on the stove because i didnt want to cry i front of him) and started comforting me
i want to be mad at him bit now i feel likes itll be rude of me and i feel like my emotions are invalid since he comforted me afterwards. i dont know why im like this but i feel like i cant go on much longer, he was asking me to stop cvtting if not for him for toby, buy its just getting so hard to wven wake up in the morning, at this point, i just want to send everyone i talk to a bunch a middle of the night 'i love you' text and then never respond or read what they say, and just finally be free from all of this
on February 26
TW: s3xu4l @ssult (cocsa and parental)
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ive had this one dog plushie since i was 3 that had my birth year on it, given to me by my half sister. i never knew her since she left when i was 4 but the only memory i have of her was her t0uching me inappropriately. and she did that quite often after i turned 3. one day i had told my mum and kicked her out. but after my mum would always do shit to me, gr0ping mh chest, lifting up my skirts, looking undet my shirt, making me sleep with her as she would t0uch me, and more that i dont wanna name. and at one point she made me strip down completely as she just looked at my body and would touch it occasionally. now i dont even feel dafe with people im close with and i feel like if someone touches me even if its like a tap on the shoulder i could spiral into a panic/anxiety attack.
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ive had this one dog plushie since i was 3 that had my birth year on it, given to me by my half sister. i never knew her since she left when i was 4 but the only memory i have of her was her t0uching me inappropriately. and she did that quite often after i turned 3. one day i had told my mum and kicked her out. but after my mum would always do shit to me, gr0ping mh chest, lifting up my skirts, looking undet my shirt, making me sleep with her as she would t0uch me, and more that i dont wanna name. and at one point she made me strip down completely as she just looked at my body and would touch it occasionally. now i dont even feel dafe with people im close with and i feel like if someone touches me even if its like a tap on the shoulder i could spiral into a panic/anxiety attack.
on February 25
gay cock
on February 19
rant abt current life situation mention of sewerslide/od
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i love how when i was younger my mum thought i was SOO gifted
and always relied on me making good grades and saying that i need to become something big
and now i can barely take care of myself, my grades are slipping badly
my mental state is gradually getting worse and i get overstimulated too easily at school
the teachers are overworking me and i have to meet a certain criteria to feel accepted
kids are still being rude to me even after the principal talked to them already
my irl friend group is falling apart and my current partner makes me feel like we arent even dating anymore
and i am quite literally fighting for my life, im so close to taking pills i stole to slow my blood pressure and make me possibly OD
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i love how when i was younger my mum thought i was SOO gifted
and always relied on me making good grades and saying that i need to become something big
and now i can barely take care of myself, my grades are slipping badly
my mental state is gradually getting worse and i get overstimulated too easily at school
the teachers are overworking me and i have to meet a certain criteria to feel accepted
kids are still being rude to me even after the principal talked to them already
my irl friend group is falling apart and my current partner makes me feel like we arent even dating anymore
and i am quite literally fighting for my life, im so close to taking pills i stole to slow my blood pressure and make me possibly OD
on February 10
remembered password again ❤️
anyways back to the usual content
TW mentions of $/H and $ew3rsl1de
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i have been on the literal EDGE of starting s/h again after being what, 26 days almost 27 days clean. fvck that shit i need to feel the bl4de slide against my skin, as i watch the red drip slowly. and i have been really thinking abt committing a lot recently due to personal issues that only one or two people on this site know of. but ignoring all of that my life has been good so far 🤗 ive gotten broken up with who i thought was my soulmate on the first kn the year, the other partner we were dating has been ignoring me taking the side of someone who literally makes peoples lives hell and i feel like i dont belong anywhere and that im js a nuisance to everyone.
anyways back to the usual content
TW mentions of $/H and $ew3rsl1de
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i have been on the literal EDGE of starting s/h again after being what, 26 days almost 27 days clean. fvck that shit i need to feel the bl4de slide against my skin, as i watch the red drip slowly. and i have been really thinking abt committing a lot recently due to personal issues that only one or two people on this site know of. but ignoring all of that my life has been good so far 🤗 ive gotten broken up with who i thought was my soulmate on the first kn the year, the other partner we were dating has been ignoring me taking the side of someone who literally makes peoples lives hell and i feel like i dont belong anywhere and that im js a nuisance to everyone.
on February 04
can't remember password again
anyways
vent/rant
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@krys.san is in a mental hospital, idk why, their lil sister wont tell me but i feel like its my fault
they tried to call me yesterday and i didnt want to answer and now i cant even contact them
i fvfking hate myself rn, if they tried to kts then that couldve been the last time i coulda talked to them
anyways
vent/rant
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@krys.san is in a mental hospital, idk why, their lil sister wont tell me but i feel like its my fault
they tried to call me yesterday and i didnt want to answer and now i cant even contact them
i fvfking hate myself rn, if they tried to kts then that couldve been the last time i coulda talked to them
on December 19, 2023
silly lil thingy
me; 8calling national suicide hotline*
hotline; *taking forever to hook me up with an operator*
me: this is pointless-
hotline: *finally hooks me up with someone*
operator: hello?
me; *responds and answers questions* See More
operator: so you said something about your family household?
me: *hangs up bc I realize in the moment that I aint that good with talking about my feeling so I just bottle it up after that*
-that happened yesterday or the day before-
me; 8calling national suicide hotline*
hotline; *taking forever to hook me up with an operator*
me: this is pointless-
hotline: *finally hooks me up with someone*
operator: hello?
me; *responds and answers questions* See More
operator: so you said something about your family household?
me: *hangs up bc I realize in the moment that I aint that good with talking about my feeling so I just bottle it up after that*
-that happened yesterday or the day before-
on November 10, 2023
rant and mention of s3lf h@rm
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just ignore this, just gotta get this off my chest.
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I love how my partner/krys.san on here says all this lovey shit like
'I love you sm!' you mean the world to me!' and 'if you die I die'
but they would come to school with fresh s/h showing not bothering to cover it up, never really talking to me much anymore, ditching me at the dance to go hang out with jack, when keys promised me and Tyler that they were going to the dance with us, and only talking to me when they need/ want something for me to give them or do.
btw jack isn't on here but krys has a crush on him and openly told me and Tyler that asking if they could join the relationship. not even putting me and Tyler feeling into consideration, just straight up asking us if jack could join the relationship or if keys could date jack but jack not date us.
and the main thing that pisses me, somewhat Tyler and quite a few our irl friends off is that they would ask me if I would get mad at them if they kissed jack (on the cheek, hand, lips, etc) and it just pisses me off, like im fine that they are asking me but idk how to say it w/o it sounding rude so I just say idk, and they talk more to/about jack that me and Tyler, when WE are THEIR PARTNERS.
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just ignore this, just gotta get this off my chest.
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I love how my partner/krys.san on here says all this lovey shit like
'I love you sm!' you mean the world to me!' and 'if you die I die'
but they would come to school with fresh s/h showing not bothering to cover it up, never really talking to me much anymore, ditching me at the dance to go hang out with jack, when keys promised me and Tyler that they were going to the dance with us, and only talking to me when they need/ want something for me to give them or do.
btw jack isn't on here but krys has a crush on him and openly told me and Tyler that asking if they could join the relationship. not even putting me and Tyler feeling into consideration, just straight up asking us if jack could join the relationship or if keys could date jack but jack not date us.
and the main thing that pisses me, somewhat Tyler and quite a few our irl friends off is that they would ask me if I would get mad at them if they kissed jack (on the cheek, hand, lips, etc) and it just pisses me off, like im fine that they are asking me but idk how to say it w/o it sounding rude so I just say idk, and they talk more to/about jack that me and Tyler, when WE are THEIR PARTNERS.
@TinyGoat I can't-
our aniverrsary is this coming Sunday or Monday and I can't do that to them, it marks a year and one month
and I don't want to make them sad
I mean like sure they did break up with me one time 2 days after our anniversary and threatened to kts if I didn't get back with them but I can't do that to them.
our aniverrsary is this coming Sunday or Monday and I can't do that to them, it marks a year and one month
and I don't want to make them sad
I mean like sure they did break up with me one time 2 days after our anniversary and threatened to kts if I didn't get back with them but I can't do that to them.
on November 10, 2023
on November 10, 2023
I just changed my Qfeast username. My old username was AngelXD.does.Rants.and.Vents
on November 08, 2023
on November 08, 2023
on November 26, 2022
rant
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rant about @MushroomGogy
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i hate @MsuhroomGogy sometimes…she keeps telling me that she hates @bbhfan867 even when she did nothing wrong…..she keeps saying the she is lying about not calling bbhfan a hoe and calling her a called her ugly….i swear why dont she hate bbhfan so much…..when bbhfan tried to confront her about it she fvcking denied it….and now she keeps talking crap to bbhfan in pm KNOWING she can’t reply back……she stole my acc thats shes on CHANGED the password even thoughshe WASNT supposed to….i swear why does she have to be such a FVCKING BITCH!….she hates me for dating bbhfan for now reason what so ever……i just want to leave the earth……maybe then i can finally be happy and be accepted for the people i love…..
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rant about @MushroomGogy
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i hate @MsuhroomGogy sometimes…she keeps telling me that she hates @bbhfan867 even when she did nothing wrong…..she keeps saying the she is lying about not calling bbhfan a hoe and calling her a called her ugly….i swear why dont she hate bbhfan so much…..when bbhfan tried to confront her about it she fvcking denied it….and now she keeps talking crap to bbhfan in pm KNOWING she can’t reply back……she stole my acc thats shes on CHANGED the password even thoughshe WASNT supposed to….i swear why does she have to be such a FVCKING BITCH!….she hates me for dating bbhfan for now reason what so ever……i just want to leave the earth……maybe then i can finally be happy and be accepted for the people i love…..
@Demon_Gamer fvck fvck fvck…..im sorry…..im making you sad…..im sorry…..please be happy……!
on February 17, 2022
on February 17, 2022
vent
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im having a panic attack right now…my parents saw my cuts on my arms….my momsaid she might send me to a hospital….if i do go there ill be there for a week…..im scared……they kept talking and talking……my mom said shes going to send me if she sees more cuts……and my dad didnt make it any better…..as they were talking the voices were yelling for me to die and cut again……i dont know what to do anymore…..im just in pain….mentally and emotionally…..not so much physically but being in pain physically helps me get through the other pain….
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im having a panic attack right now…my parents saw my cuts on my arms….my momsaid she might send me to a hospital….if i do go there ill be there for a week…..im scared……they kept talking and talking……my mom said shes going to send me if she sees more cuts……and my dad didnt make it any better…..as they were talking the voices were yelling for me to die and cut again……i dont know what to do anymore…..im just in pain….mentally and emotionally…..not so much physically but being in pain physically helps me get through the other pain….
Hey, I know it's really hard, but you have to fight the voices. Do not cave in. If they tell you to hurt yourself, tell them they can get rid of themselves, that you don't want them. You don't need them.
Find distractions, watch youtube, make videos, do something else. Maybe try to find a new hobby. Try talking to your parents about getting a hobby.
I'll See More be praying for you <3
Find distractions, watch youtube, make videos, do something else. Maybe try to find a new hobby. Try talking to your parents about getting a hobby.
I'll See More be praying for you <3
on February 21, 2022
@Demon_Gamer no its not….ive been cutting before you ever have….!
@camilo.madrigal okay
@TinyGoat fine….
@camilo.madrigal okay
@TinyGoat fine….
on February 17, 2022
matters which ones you go to. ive been to 3 and they weren't that bad, they might help you witht he voices. they gave me meds for mine and they work
on February 17, 2022
on February 17, 2022
