The Book of Jokes and Riddles

Chapter 2

Q: Tuesday, Sam and Peter went to a restaurant to eat lunch. After eating lunch, they paid the bill. But Sam and Peter did not pay the bill, so who did?
A: Their friend, Tuesday.
Q: What gets broken without being held?
A: A promise.
Q: What is always coming but never arrives?
A: Tomorrow
Q: What goes through towns and over hills but never moves?
A: A Road
Q: What has Eighty-eight keys but can’t open a single door?
A: A piano
Q: What has a neck but no head?
A: A bottle
Q: A monkey, a squirrel, and a bird are racing to the top of a coconut tree. Who will get the banana first, the monkey, the squirrel, or the bird?
A: None of them, because you can’t get a banana from a coconut tree!
Q: Which eight-letter word still remains a word after removing each letter from it?
A: Starting-Staring-String-Sting-Sing-Sin-In-I.
Q: What has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps, can run but never walks, and has a bank but no money?
A: A river!
The Smith family is a very wealthy family that lives in a big, circular home. One morning, Mr. Smith woke up and saw a strawberry jam stain on his new carpet. He figured out that everyone who was there that morning had a jam sandwich. By reading the following excuses, figure out who spilled the jam.
Billy Smith: “I was outside playing basketball.”
The Maid: “I was dusting the corners of the house.”
Chef: “I was starting to make lunch for later.”
Who is lying?
A: It was the maid. The house is circular, it has no corners.
Two fathers and two sons go on a fishing trip. They each catch a fish and bring it home. Why do they only bring 3 home?
A: The fishing trip consists of a grandfather, a father and a son.
Q: What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the afternoon, and 3 legs at night?
A: A person! As a baby you crawl (4 legs), as an adult you walk (2 legs), then when you are older you use a cane (3 legs)
Q: The more it dries, the wetter it becomes. What is it?
A: A towel!
Q: What can you hear but not touch or see?
A: Your voice.
Q: What starts with “P” and ends with “E” and has more than 1000 letters?
A: A post office!
Q: What loses its head in the morning but gets it back at night?
A: A pillow
Q. What is something you will never see again?
A. Yesterday
Q: Jack rode into town on Friday and rode out 2 days later on Friday. How can that be possible?
A: Friday is his horse’s name!
Q: Can you name the two days starting with T besides Tuesday and Thursday?
A: Today and tomorrow.
Q: What is round on both sides but high in the middle?
A: Ohio.
Q: If two’s company and three’s a crowd, what are four and five?
A: Nine!
Q: What is the center of Gravity?
A: The letter V.
Q: What is the last thing you take off before bed?
A: Your feet off the floor.
Q: A lawyer, a plumber and a hat maker were walking down the street. Who had the biggest hat?
A: The one with the biggest head.
Q: What kind of room has no doors or windows?
A: A mushroom.
Q: I have keys but no locks. I have space but no room. You can enter but can’t go outside. What am I?
A: A Keyboard
Q: What is next in this sequence: JFMAMJJASON_ ?
A: The letter D. The sequence contains the first letter of each month.
Q: A man was cleaning the windows of a 25 story building. He slipped and fell off the ladder, but wasn’t hurt. How did he do it?
A: He fell off the 2nd step.
Q: How many seconds are there in a year?
A: 12. (January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd….)
Q: One night, a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker go to a hotel. When they get their bill, however, it’s for four people. Who’s the fourth person?
A: One night can also mean one knight. That makes four: one knight, a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker!
Q: What instrument can you hear but never see?
A: Your voice! You can sing with your voice like an instrument and hear it, but no one can see it!