Eye of the Storm

Chapter 18

My dreams don’t hold off torturing me, with images of Ethan and death plaguing every scene. I don’t dare close my eyes again. The clock reads 3am. I sigh, rolling out of bed. I admit what I’m about to do isn’t my smartest idea, but I can’t think of anything else more suitable right now. I throw a hoodie on over my t-shirt and carefully make my way out of my house. I wonder if anyone else is suffering from sleepless nights. I walk down the sandy path, to a familiar house on the end of my street. The lights are off, the door shut. I haven’t seen it open once since I woke. I walk quietly around the side of the house, pulling myself over the gate, landing with a thump on the other side. The moonlight directs me through the backyard towards a small cubby house in the corner. I still remember building it, in fact I don’t think I could ever forget it. The door takes a bit of effort but eventually I drag it open, stepping inside. Immediately I realise that this was a mistake, but I carry on.

A boulder forms in my throat as my eyes cascade over the photos, drawings, memories. I lean down and pick up a photo from last year, brushing the dust off it. Ever since I found out Ethan’s liked me for so long, everything has been falling into place. The way he looks at me in this photo, like he never wants to let me go. It takes all my strength not to crumple up the photo and throw it against the wall. I can feel my emotions bubbling up inside me.
“Esme?” I jump a little, turning to the source of the voice. I guess I was a little too loud.
“I’m sorry, I was just…” I choke on my words. Ethan’s mother stands in the doorway. She nods, her eyes tearing. She walks up to me, encasing me in her arms and stroking my hair gently.
“You’re braver than me… I haven’t even been able to look at his room,” her voice tickles my neck softly, sending shivers down my spine.
“I’m so sorry… this was all my fault,” I let go of her, desperately holding back tears that threaten to fall down any second, because I know that once I start crying I won’t be able to stop.
“No, no, no…” she shakes her head. And that’s all it takes. I fall to the floor, dust rising as my heart sinks lower than ever before. Warm tears spill down my cheeks. I try not to scream, wanting to so desperately, feeling that it’s the only way to get out these built up emotions inside of me. I hold the photo closer to me. I’m so sorry, Ethan.