Chapter 10
Hour pass, none any easier. Especially considering Leo is starting to lose it. He’s stopped telling himself it’s ok, he’s stopped telling others we’ll get home. He’s stopped believing in the lies that give us sanity. Everyone is sitting apart, in their own small places. I can’t take this anymore! I grab Leo’s hand, hauling him off the sand and far into the trees. “Come with me,”
“…ok,”
At first, we’d weave and duck under the branches and be careful of our step, but now we just stomp right through, too numb to feel the scratches and crackling. We reach the grassed area, concealed by trees. We’re alone.
“Leo… please…” I choke out, standing in front of him, searching his eyes for a glimpse of hope. Once again, his hand dances across my cheek, he says he does it to calm me, but really, I think it calms him. I need to keep him as calm as possible right now, in fact I’m scared to leave him alone. I refuse to lose him.
“You’ve lost too much weight, Esme,” he says, his fingertips going over the hollows of my cheeks. “I’ve tried not to say anything but Esme, you look like you’re dying,” he sounds as if he’s in great pain saying that. “Which is why I… my mood…” dying? I don’t know how I feel hearing that, I’ve never noticed since I haven’t seen myself in so long. I guess it’s inevitable, you know… death. “I’m not losing it, Esme. I’m losing you,” words really shouldn’t affect one as much as they do. I can’t stop it, I just begin to sob, my head in my hands. Leo pulls me into him, stroking my hair and the small of my back. “and if I lost you, I don’t know what I’d do,” suddenly, he pushes me away from him. “I lo… I..” his words trail off. “I...” he shakes his head, pained. “you…” his raw emotions ooze out of him like a thick sludge, reaching out to me, intoxicating me.
“I know,” I try to sound confident, strong. But the sludge fills my lungs, making my chest tight and twisting my stomach. I can hardly see him through the wetness coating my eyes like a sheet of glass. No more words need to be spoken. His arms wrap around me, tightly. As if he feels like once he lets go, I’ll disappear. “I love you, too,”
Slowly and carefully our lips meet once again.
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