Catching Roses

Jessica Holister is probably one of the smartest in the world- nicknamed by the media "Sherlock Holmes", with her identity remaining a secret. And her past, what she thought became gone, was back.

published on April 21, 2017not completed

Chapter 3

- Joanna Williams' POV -

  "Sherlock? Why does the name bother you?" I asked, trying to keep up with the pale red-head.
  "Why does the therapist bother you?"
  "Answer my question." I pressed.
   She chuckled with a slightly deep tone.  "Well, it bothers me because if the media catches that it'll raise a shit storm."
    Oh.
  "OH! Youre the Sher-"
  "Hush! The media is here now.  I suggest you keep your head down."
    I saw why.
  As we walked past and into the house, camera lights and questions were popping up everywhere.
  We got in the house and there was the body of a woman laying on the floor.
  I couldn't figure out what age she was because she had her face eaten off.

~ Jessica Holister's POV ~

  Cannibalism.  Facinating act.  The urge to eat your own kind allways facinated me.  
  "Female, age 32, no sign of forced entry.  Wait..." she looked around a bit.
  "The body was layed back into her house.  She was killed somewhere else. Joanna, you'd think she was eaten alive or no?"
  I looked at her as she knelt down, her curly hair bouncing as she did so, eying it.  "Most likely.  The bite marks aren't a clean tear off."
  "Exactly.  Meant there was a fight.  3 weeks ago.  Also, notice the clothes were torn, but no blood.  Trying to be polite.  There's some regret of doing this."
   Oh, joy.  It's a team.
"Oh god.  I've seen this situation before."
   "Oh?" I asked.  Surely she had insight, but it was quite odd to recodnize it so quickly.
  "Someone's making them against their will.  It's so the person forced to do the crime gets the punishment, while the other one goes free.  It's usually done by blackmail." She stated.
    "Go on."
  She looked again. "We go back to steryotypes- it could be anyone for both roles.  Usually, the controller has a dominant personality and has a leading roles in their career where they have to lead people.  They also tend to abuse- and in civilian situations, it's an abusive relationship.  The controlled is usually cut off with anyone but the controller, so they aren't going to expose them."
  I looked at her. "Finally, someone who isn't as much of an idiot as the rest."
  Antonio walked in from the kitchen. "Take that as a compliment." He stated, looking at me.  "Find anything?"
  I smirked.  "Oh, plenty."
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Comments (28)

The story is really good. Usually, I don't like casual writing styles, but that type of writing style really helps with this story. My only problem is that I feel like the story jumps around too fast. When you write the next chapter, try to slow down and explain everything. Otherwise, this is a really good story, and I can't wait to read the rest!!
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Allright! I'll keep that in mind!
Thanks!
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No prob ^-^
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on May 11, 2017
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on May 11, 2017
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on May 11, 2017
I like your story @Forever_Great_Bohemian_Rhaspody :)
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on May 08, 2017
I do like this story and see potential in it as a Qfeast classic.
My only concern with this story is the amount of space between sentences. I understand if this is your normal style, but...
I feel like nothing is organised into paragraphs that flow one after the other.
I like stories where the time flows on, and it's shown in the paragraph spacing. Books like See More
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Allright, thank you for the imput! It really helps.
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on May 05, 2017
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on May 05, 2017
Okay, your writing style is awesome and it's very fun tot read, my only criticism would be that there's a lot of speaking and not a lot of saying what is actually going on and describing it. The only way the reader is able to keep up I see looking at all the speaking, maybe try to vary it a little more? Does this help? ^.^U
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Plenty! Thanks!
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on May 05, 2017
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on May 05, 2017
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on May 05, 2017
Hey, can I be your official editor?
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Sure!
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Mkay, great!
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on April 21, 2017
Sounds good to me!
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on April 21, 2017
Mkay! Actually, I think it'd be easiest to make a hidden page and PM you the link - I'll post constructive critiques and chapter edits on there, if that's alright with you.
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on April 21, 2017
However you do it best!
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on April 21, 2017
Really? That's awesome! I'm really flattered. ^_^ Would you like me to send edits in PM or just leave constructive critiques or?
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on April 21, 2017
I was actually gonna ask if you'd do that--
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on April 21, 2017
Yay!! Thanks ^_^
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017
Okay, so something that I actually didn't think about that you did fantabulously was that Sherlock is this crazy observant character that could tell her so many random details it's ridiculous. My only critique is that her panic attack probably wouldn't be calmed down immediately (also, hugging a person having a panic attack without their permission isn't a really See More
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Also, it would be cool to change the last sentence to "We shook hands and walked to my therapy session." It changes all of the action to something that they're doing together; Jessica isn't dragging Joanna into her life, but Joanna is walking into her life. If that makes sense? It's not a big deal, just a tiny literary thing. XD Seriously though, I frikkin love See More
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on April 21, 2017
Jessica described in detail another person - what they were wearing, where they were going, what they were thinking - seemingly unimportant details that would help ground Joanna in the present. And then Joanna was almost completely calm, so maybe Jessica just glanced at one more new passerby and described them to help Joanna (and also to establish to the readers See More
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on April 21, 2017
I love it!!
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on April 21, 2017
Also, I'm writing more now!
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on April 21, 2017
Of course!
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on April 21, 2017
Allright! The details are fixed. Mind re-reading to make sure I got that right?
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on April 21, 2017
Basically! Legit though, I really love this so far and I can't wait until you write more.
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on April 21, 2017
Allright! Basically more detail and more accurate information?
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017