Catching Roses

Jessica Holister is probably one of the smartest in the world- nicknamed by the media "Sherlock Holmes", with her identity remaining a secret. And her past, what she thought became gone, was back.

published on April 21, 2017not completed

Chapter 10- Joanna William's POV

  We had gotten back to the apartment, and once again, Jessica was on the couch.  Now, this time, she was reading.  Because it happens so often, I could tell now it was the same expression she made when she drowned the world out.
  Luckily I had a conputer with me, and so I opened it up, opening the web browser, Google Chrome, and started setting it up.  Meanwhile, I decided to test if she was really focused.  I wasn't quite sure myself, so it was probably safest.  
  "What are you reading, Jess?"
     No responce.  Perfect.   
  I started typing up what would be the case now, not going to publish it or describe how we look.  
  After an hour or two, Jess threw the book, rolling on her stomach.  I jumped, nearly dropping the conputer.  
  "Damn writers make it to predictable!"  She shouted.
     I started laughing after a moment of silence, and recieved an offended look.  The look only made me laugh more, and her offended look was sprinkled with confusion.
  Right then, Miss Smith came in, seeing us two.  Her british accent came out, startled.  "Dear lord, Jessica, what'd you do this time!?"
  "Threw a book across the wall, frustrated that the writers made it too easy to figure it out."
  She chuckled.  "Jessica, darling, let's start that you're old enough to know not to throw books across the wall.." she began.  I tried muffling my laughter, but it was still audible.
  "Joanna, I WILL throw a book at you!" She growled.
   "I know, but I cant help but laugh a bit." I argued.
  She flopped back down on the couch, sighing in defeat.  I chuckled again at her childish behaviour, and contenued typing.
  I can't help but wonder how she's like alone sometimes.
    Jess sighed, standing.   She walked to the fridge, scanned it, and sighed, closing it and flopping back down on the couch.  "To quote an old friend of mine: 'Pain consumed me as I realied I was both out of food and lack of something to do.  My entertainment is gone.'" She quoted.
  "Is this the writer friend who died, dear?"  Miss Smith asked.
    "No, the comedian.  And my writer friend hasn't died." She replied.
  "How much death in your life is there!?" I growled.  She thought for a moment before replying.  "About as much as yours." She replied.
  I sighed, saved my place, and closed my laptop.  "Well, what now?" I asked.
  "Find something to do around town?"  Miss Smith suggested.
    "Sounds decent." Jessica stood, grabbing hee coat and headed out.
  I sighed, and followed as quickly as possible.
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Comments (28)

The story is really good. Usually, I don't like casual writing styles, but that type of writing style really helps with this story. My only problem is that I feel like the story jumps around too fast. When you write the next chapter, try to slow down and explain everything. Otherwise, this is a really good story, and I can't wait to read the rest!!
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Allright! I'll keep that in mind!
Thanks!
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No prob ^-^
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on May 11, 2017
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on May 11, 2017
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on May 11, 2017
I like your story @Forever_Great_Bohemian_Rhaspody :)
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on May 08, 2017
I do like this story and see potential in it as a Qfeast classic.
My only concern with this story is the amount of space between sentences. I understand if this is your normal style, but...
I feel like nothing is organised into paragraphs that flow one after the other.
I like stories where the time flows on, and it's shown in the paragraph spacing. Books like See More
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Allright, thank you for the imput! It really helps.
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on May 05, 2017
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on May 05, 2017
Okay, your writing style is awesome and it's very fun tot read, my only criticism would be that there's a lot of speaking and not a lot of saying what is actually going on and describing it. The only way the reader is able to keep up I see looking at all the speaking, maybe try to vary it a little more? Does this help? ^.^U
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Plenty! Thanks!
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on May 05, 2017
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on May 05, 2017
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on May 05, 2017
Hey, can I be your official editor?
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Sure!
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Mkay, great!
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on April 21, 2017
Sounds good to me!
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on April 21, 2017
Mkay! Actually, I think it'd be easiest to make a hidden page and PM you the link - I'll post constructive critiques and chapter edits on there, if that's alright with you.
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on April 21, 2017
However you do it best!
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on April 21, 2017
Really? That's awesome! I'm really flattered. ^_^ Would you like me to send edits in PM or just leave constructive critiques or?
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on April 21, 2017
I was actually gonna ask if you'd do that--
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on April 21, 2017
Yay!! Thanks ^_^
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017
Okay, so something that I actually didn't think about that you did fantabulously was that Sherlock is this crazy observant character that could tell her so many random details it's ridiculous. My only critique is that her panic attack probably wouldn't be calmed down immediately (also, hugging a person having a panic attack without their permission isn't a really See More
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Also, it would be cool to change the last sentence to "We shook hands and walked to my therapy session." It changes all of the action to something that they're doing together; Jessica isn't dragging Joanna into her life, but Joanna is walking into her life. If that makes sense? It's not a big deal, just a tiny literary thing. XD Seriously though, I frikkin love See More
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on April 21, 2017
Jessica described in detail another person - what they were wearing, where they were going, what they were thinking - seemingly unimportant details that would help ground Joanna in the present. And then Joanna was almost completely calm, so maybe Jessica just glanced at one more new passerby and described them to help Joanna (and also to establish to the readers See More
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on April 21, 2017
I love it!!
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on April 21, 2017
Also, I'm writing more now!
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on April 21, 2017
Of course!
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on April 21, 2017
Allright! The details are fixed. Mind re-reading to make sure I got that right?
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on April 21, 2017
Basically! Legit though, I really love this so far and I can't wait until you write more.
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on April 21, 2017
Allright! Basically more detail and more accurate information?
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017
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on April 21, 2017