Day's End

Trickster

It wasn't like she cared that they did it or that she even cared for them, but it did make her wonder if she was this bad of a person- if she deserved being left behind. She was doing what she thought she needed to do, even if she knew it wasn't exactly right; who were they to judge? No one is innocent, not anymore. She was going to New York to find a way to fix the mess the world plunged itself into, and she would go with or without a group; they would just get in her way. But something was off when she was trying to convince herself of this.
       Ren found herself wanting to reject going off alone; she wanted someone with her, not for protection like Lea had, but she wanted someone with her for companionship. She'd never felt guilt for doing something she thought was necessary, but, as she thought about it more, she felt wrong for once- she felt wrong for killing Lea. It was the same feeling she felt when she realized Hailey and Sidney had abandoned her; the sinking pit of despair that sits in waiting and only grows and grows until it makes you want to cower in fear of what comes next when it finally reaches its peak; it forces shaking tremors of sobs through your aching body until the pressure grows too heavy, and it makes it feel as if your chest will burst.
        It was only after that that Ren wished she hadn't killed Lea. She was nothing short of ashamed of herself. She knew that, if anyone, Sidney wouldn't want to be alone; Ren supposed that was why the other boy went with them- what was his name? Regan? Whatever. She knew what she was becoming, and she hated it. She was becoming a monster- a murderous, terrible monster, and she detested it.
        Ren knew it was because of herself; she had manufactured the serum, and greed and misplaced heroism took over. That was why she was going to prove herself. She was going to go after Sidney and prove that she wanted to make amends. If the others wanted to take the cure and go to New York themselves, so be it. It'll only be a matter of time before they become depraved animals who'd murder a child to get to their goal, and, finally, this time, it wouldn't have to be her.
        The woman who answered the door was a stranger, which Sidney hoped she wouldn't be. She wore the clothing of a nun, so she was no doubt part of the group of people they were looking for, but they thought they would, at least, recognise something about her. With all the time they had spent there with Kegan and with all the time they had spent around the monastery, the person standing in front of them was one they had never seen before. As such, Sidney was immediately on guard, and Regan recognised their tension and took the hint that something was wrong.
        The woman didn't speak for nearly a minute, only staring at the two with a half-opened mouth. Then, she stuttered over her next words, "Uh- uh, um, hello. I- uh, sorry, sorry! It's just- we've never-"
"It's okay," Regan uncertainly reassured her. "Um, so, what's your name? I'm Regan, by the way."
"Sidney," they curtly stated.
"I'm- I'm Rachelle, but you can just call me Rachel, I suppose." She smiled brightly and eagerly held out her hand.
Regan shook the girl's hand, but Sidney still hesitated, even when they were greeted with such a cheerful attitude. "It's nice to meet you, Rachel."
"Oh, it's wonderful to meet both of you!" Rachelle stepped to aside and gestured inward. "Please, come in and rest." She shut the door and locked it after they stepped inside. "We don't see people often anymore, but that's pretty obvious isn't it?" Rachel let out a nervous laugh. "Sorry if I talk a bit much, I do that when I'm excited."
Regan forced a small smile. "It's alright; I'm sure-"
"Is anyone else here?" Sidney roughly interrupted; they passed Regan an apologetic glance afterwards.
Rachel shook her head. "Not right now. The others are out; they leave in search of survivors in hopes of bringing them here, and they leave me to look after the place because they say I'm too young to leave, for now. They went further south today, so don't be surprised that you missed them. Would you like some tea?"
"You have tea here?" Regan asked.
"Have a seat," Rachelle gestured towards a small, gritty table and a few small chairs. "And, yes, we stockpiled the day this happened. Of course, our supplies are low now, but we get by. Tea?"
Regan slowly sat. "Sure. Sidney?"
"I guess," they muttered as they slunk into one of the chairs.
The other boy harshly elbowed their side. "Thanks, uh, Rachel. Most people aren't as nice as you."
"Of course. It's only the right thing to do. Anyway, how do you two know each other?"
Sidney cast a desperate look to Regan, but he didn't know exactly how to interpret it. "We were actually-"
"Our groups ran into each other some time ago," Sidney interrupted, again. "It's just us now."
Rachelle slouched slightly. "That's it?"
Regan glanced at Sidney. "Y-Yeah. Yeah, that's it."
Rachelle drank some of her own tea. "Well, I'm glad you're here, anyway." She at them and smiled. "You'll be safe now."
"When are the others supposed to be back?" Sidney crossed their arms defiantly.
"I'm not really sure. Maybe later today. Are you, well, planning on staying? I mean, it's no trouble, really; I just want to know if you need a room- rooms," Rachelle hurriedly explained. "We have plenty. There's not that many of us, after all, and this place was built for much more than that."
"Only after we-"
Regan kicked Sidney's leg and answered himself, "Thank you, again, Rachel. That'd be great."
Rachelle nodded and smiled. "Stay here. I'll get your rooms ready."
The boy half-stood from his seat. "Do you need help? It's all we can really offer."
        She smiled again- that small, already familiarly bright smile of hers, nodded, and walked away, disappearing down the long, dark hallway lined with boarded windows and closed, locked doors. When Rachelle had left the room, it immediately fell silent. Regan wanted to speak to Sidney about this, but he had a feeling that they wouldn't be an avid listener. He became aware of a ticking noise and, upon looking behind himself, noticed a large grandfather clock resting beside a desk cluttered with a heap of books and papers. Rachelle and whoever she was with must read quite a bit. There were, of course, Bibles, but they were set to the side of the fray. He also suddenly became aware of how dark the room was; the only thing guarding them against being immersed in complete darkness were well-placed groups of candles. The nostalgic smell made him smile; that was, until Sidney said this, "We can't stay here, Regan."
        They only ever used his real name when they were either worried or scared. Even when Sidney was somehow angry with him, they always used his nickname. That was why he turned around from taking in the sight of the homely room to look at Sidney and simply ask, "Why?"
"They're going to come looking for us, aren't they? I mean, with them thinking of you as family and all."
Regan rested a hand on their shoulder. "We'll just stay here, then. Even if they did come looking for us, what are the odds that they'd actually find us?"
Sidney looked down into their steaming cup of tea. "Yeah, I guess so. And-" They sighed before continuing, "-I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For making you leave." They glanced over at him.
He lightly, albeit awkwardly, kissed the other's cheek. "I already told you I wanted to go with you, didn't I? You didn't make me do anything."
"Yeah. Thanks, R."
        Even though the conversation had lasted but a few minutes, Sidney felt relieved to have spoken with him- that was the effect Regan had on them; he was a calming, reassuring presence to Sidney, and it faintly reminded them of their brother. Everything that had happened to get here seemed, to Regan, worth every second as he tightly held the hand of the other. Neither of them had noticed Rachelle enter, and she quietly slunk into a seat next to Sidney and rested her hand on their arm. "Where did you get this scar?" Rachelle asked, tracing her fingers over the bite mark.
Sidney quickly jerked their arm away and shoved their sleeves back down. "It's nothing."
"They were attacked," Regan offered as an excuse. "By another person."
"Really?" Rachelle folded her hands in her lap. "And they bit him?"
"Yeah, they did. They were crazy- not really much of a surprise," Sidney answered.
"They must've bitten you pretty hard then, huh? How long ago was it? It couldn't have been one of them because you're still, well, conscious, right?"
"Right," they finished.
"And these are fire scars, right? I've never seen them actually on a person in real life before, only in pictures, so I do know what they look like. Are they, really?"
"Yeah, they are. I was in a forest fire," Sidney mumbled and drank some of their tea.
Rachelle suddenly jumped up. "I just remembered that you two had brought a horse! Will it be okay out there? We don't exactly have a place for one, but I'm sure we could do something if it were a problem."
"Shit," Regan whispered. He got up from his place at the table and opened the door a bit. He couldn't see Anne's shadowy shape, and he couldn't hear anything- not even the shuffling of walkers.
"Is it okay?" Rachelle asked from within.
Regan sighed and closed the door. "She's gone."
"Dead?"
"No, gone. She just.. ran away, I guess."
"Damn," Sidney sighed.
"Do you think she knows to go back to the others?" Regan took one last look before shutting the door.
"Who knows? I doubt it."
Rachelle stood. "Um, are "the others" a problem?"
Sidney finished their tea. "No, they're not. Don't worry about it."
"Alright. Well, um, your rooms are ready. That's what I came in here to tell you, but I guess I just got distracted. Sorry." She smiled good-heartedly and a little apologetically. "Oh, and, about the others- the ones that are coming later-, they should probably be here by morning, when you wake up. Don't worry about them; I'm sure they'll be fine."
Sidney curtly stood from their seat. "Thanks for the tea."
"Your room is down the hallway and to the right. There'll be three doors; the room is the one on the far right." Rachelle picked up both of the tea cups. "There are two beds inside, so you both can sleep in that one room, if that's okay with you."
Sidney had already begun making their way down the hallway, even before she had finished her phrase, but Regan remained to say, "Thanks, again, Rachel. I'm sorry for Sidney. They're only like this when meeting new people; don't let them bother you." He smiled.
She laughed a bit. "It's fine. I understand." Rachelle put her hands on the cluttered desk and leaned back. "Um, I'll stay up a little longer, in case they turn up. Sleep well."
"You too, Rachel."
        When he had gotten to the room, Sidney looked like they were already asleep. Regan smiled as he looked down at them, but he stepped back and drowsily sat on the edge of the mattress. A sudden tiredness overcame him; his vision slowly became blurred, and, as he tried to stand, his legs weakened under the pressure and threw him back to the mattress. Regan could only groan in confusion as he limply fell forward onto the ground. Sidney still lay motionless in bed. He tried to push himself up and make his way to Sidney's bed, but his arms possessed no strength. He could hardly even feel the wooden floor under his nails that he clawed so desperately at. The last thing he heard were quick footsteps running towards the door, and the last thing he saw was Rachelle slowly entering the room.