Perfection

Tracie Parker used to be an unpopular girl. But now that a man secretly gave her a makeover, she's determined to become friends with the popular crowd. Except things change when she meets a cute geek at the mall and gets his phone number. He's an outcast at school, and becoming his friend - or even his girlfriend - would ruin Tracie's status with the popular girls. Is she willing to take the risk?

published on October 13, 2015not completed

Surprise

I sit in detention, doodling on my paper. Kylie, Maisy, and Stacy sit clustered together in the back corner of the room. I should have known this would happen. I never should have cut class with them the other day. Luckily, since it's my first offense, I only get one detention. Kylie and the other girls get five.
Miss Emerson, the plump teacher with a sour face, sits in the front of the room. She glances at the clock and lets out a sigh. "Okay, you troublemakers. You may go." She waves us out of the room as the late bell rings. I hurry down the hall to the front of the school when I spot someone sitting in the corner, hunched over, clicking a Rubik's cube. I notice that they have the white face solved, and are working on the blue one. I call out to them. "You're supposed to do it in layers, not by faces."
The person looks up, and I blink in surprise.
"Sawyer?" I blurt out.
He smiles. "Tracie! I had no idea you went to this school."
"I didn't know you went here, either," I say, heading over to him. "Why are you here late?"
"Chess club," he sighs. "You?"
My face reddens. "Detention." When I see his confused look, I rush to explain. "The popular crowd invited me to cut classes with them."
Sawyer frowns. "And you went along with it?"
"Well, it's not every day that the popular kids say you can hang out with them."
"Tracie, be honest with yourself: How much of it was hanging out, and how much was them pranking you?"
"They did not prank me!" I exclaim. "We played a game where I stood in the middle of the mall and kissed a random, unsuspecting stranger that walked by." I blush, feeling silly. "Well, maybe it was a prank. But they still invited me."
Sawyer sighs. "Tracie... I don't think you should be spending time around them."
I groan. "So you're one of those people? The 'Oh, popular kids are all bad, and blonde cheerleaders are dumb'?"
Sawyer's face turns red. "They verbally assault me at least once a day, Tracie. They copy my homework and the homework of some of the other nerds. They called my dad a scumbag."
"Well... I'm sure your dad's not really a scumbag, right?" I say, trying to lighten the mood.
Sawyer looks down at his lap. "My dad's dead."
I gape at him. "Oh my god, Sawyer! I'm so sorry!"
He looks away. "Yeah, well, there's nothing we can do about it now, is there?" He stuffs his Rubik's cube into his bag and stands up. "Where do you live?"
"State Street."
"You're kidding! So do I!"
I shyly smile. "Want to.. walk home.. together?"
He winks and links his arm in mine. "Absolutely!"
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Comments (10)

... How old is she, anyways? Is she in high school? Even if she is, there's NO WAY that real, good parents would be totally unconcerned and not suspicious when their daughter comes home late with a total makeover and a whole bunch of bags, claiming that it's all under $200. Getting her hair done like that would've normally cost at least $50, and a box of colored See More
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She's a teenager - you know, 15-16 years old. And their parents assume that "coming home late with a total makeover and a whole bunch of bags, claiming that it's all under $200" is a normal, teenager-y thing to do. I guess they were just so excited about the fact that their daughter was out shopping (possibly making friends) that they didn't pay a lot of attention. See More
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on October 13, 2015
It's fine. Tbh, I don't completely understand it either. Tracie's taking over the story and writing stuff. I think I'm possessed.
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on October 13, 2015
Oh, OK. I guess that it's just me, but... I'd never be able to go out on my own to the mall in the first place, and if I came back with a totally new look and a bunch of bags of clothes, my parents would absolutely FREAK. I'd probably end up grounded for a month for dying and cutting my hair, much less stealing. They'd be so suspicious that it'd be insane. And See More
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on October 13, 2015
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on October 13, 2015
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on October 13, 2015
Hmmm...
It's good, but not as good as your work usually is. I really don't understand what she was doing accepting a makeover from a random homeless guy in the first place. There are several grammar and spelling errors. Also, her mom would definitely recognize her. Even with the contacts, she would (at the very LEAST) think that the face was familiar. Also, how See More
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Yeah, this definitely isn't one of my best stories. I need to revise and edit a bit. Although, the homeless guy charges $100, yes, but he also steals his victims' wallets when they aren't looking. After Tracie paid him, the pickpocket took her wallet.
Also, she accepted the makeover because she was very desperate, and she wanted to be "undercover." She was worried See More
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on October 13, 2015
No problem, and thanks!
She's 15-16, but I think I'll make her 16.
And it's fine. I've made that mistake many times before. :)
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on October 13, 2015
OK, thanks. That definitely clears things up a bit. :)
(But still, exactly how old is she? Is she a freshman or a senior?)
Looking back, I'm actually mistaken. I thought you misspelled a word, but it's actually spelled correctly. My bad.
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on October 13, 2015
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on October 13, 2015
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