Perfection

Tracie Parker used to be an unpopular girl. But now that a man secretly gave her a makeover, she's determined to become friends with the popular crowd. Except things change when she meets a cute geek at the mall and gets his phone number. He's an outcast at school, and becoming his friend - or even his girlfriend - would ruin Tracie's status with the popular girls. Is she willing to take the risk?

published on October 13, 2015not completed

Sawyer

I sit in my pale pink beanbag, flipping through the magazine. Thoughts of the boy keep running through my head. I pick up my wallet and pull out the one dollar bill he handed me. "He touched this," I whisper, turning it over. But I spot something written on the back. I blink and look closer.
It's some random numbers. It's..
Oh God.
I swallow, the room spinning around me. My hand shakes.
It's a phone number.
I dig in my purse and pull out my iPhone. I open up the phone app and hesitate for a few moments, and then take a deep breath and type in the first digit of his number. It makes a beeping sound effect, and I jump. I turn down the volume and enter the next couple numbers, and then the next few, until I've typed in the entire thing.
My hand hovers over the call button.
Should I?
Yes. I should.
I press the call button and hold the phone up to my ear. It rings a couple times.
"Hello?" says a familiar voice on the other end. "Who is this?"
"Uh.." I stammer. "Tracie. It's Tracie."
"Who?" says the boy, although I think I can sense a sort of understanding in his voice.
"Tracie. The girl at the mall today." I say, licking my dry lips.
The boy laughs. "Oh. You. The one with the cute nose."
My mouth falls open. Cute nose? Nose, of all things? Why not my eyes, or my hair? The things I worked hard to fix? "Excuse me?" I answer. "What about my... hair?"
"I like brown hair better on girls. Blonde doesn't really suit you."
I silently curse myself for dyeing my hair. "Oh. Okay then." I pause. "What is your name, anyway?"
"It's kind of stupid..."
"That's okay," I reply.
"Promise you won't laugh?"
"I promise."
"Okay then.." the boy pauses. "It's... Sawyer."
Sawyer! "I love that name!" I gush, before I can stop myself. "It's the name of one of my favorite characters in-"
"-Lost!" he finishes. "My parents named me after him. Even though his real name was James," he explains. "So you like that show, I assume?"
"Yes!" I say excitedly. "I love it! Have you watched it?"
"Yeah!" Sawyer exclaims. "I can't believe you recognized my name."
I blush, finally remembering that I'm only talking to a stranger. "Well..." I trail off. "I have to go."
"Bye, Tracie!" Sawyer says. "Talk to you later?"
"Yeah, I guess," I answer. "Bye."
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Comments (10)

... How old is she, anyways? Is she in high school? Even if she is, there's NO WAY that real, good parents would be totally unconcerned and not suspicious when their daughter comes home late with a total makeover and a whole bunch of bags, claiming that it's all under $200. Getting her hair done like that would've normally cost at least $50, and a box of colored See More
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She's a teenager - you know, 15-16 years old. And their parents assume that "coming home late with a total makeover and a whole bunch of bags, claiming that it's all under $200" is a normal, teenager-y thing to do. I guess they were just so excited about the fact that their daughter was out shopping (possibly making friends) that they didn't pay a lot of attention. See More
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on October 13, 2015
It's fine. Tbh, I don't completely understand it either. Tracie's taking over the story and writing stuff. I think I'm possessed.
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on October 13, 2015
Oh, OK. I guess that it's just me, but... I'd never be able to go out on my own to the mall in the first place, and if I came back with a totally new look and a bunch of bags of clothes, my parents would absolutely FREAK. I'd probably end up grounded for a month for dying and cutting my hair, much less stealing. They'd be so suspicious that it'd be insane. And See More
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on October 13, 2015
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on October 13, 2015
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on October 13, 2015
Hmmm...
It's good, but not as good as your work usually is. I really don't understand what she was doing accepting a makeover from a random homeless guy in the first place. There are several grammar and spelling errors. Also, her mom would definitely recognize her. Even with the contacts, she would (at the very LEAST) think that the face was familiar. Also, how See More
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Yeah, this definitely isn't one of my best stories. I need to revise and edit a bit. Although, the homeless guy charges $100, yes, but he also steals his victims' wallets when they aren't looking. After Tracie paid him, the pickpocket took her wallet.
Also, she accepted the makeover because she was very desperate, and she wanted to be "undercover." She was worried See More
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on October 13, 2015
No problem, and thanks!
She's 15-16, but I think I'll make her 16.
And it's fine. I've made that mistake many times before. :)
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on October 13, 2015
OK, thanks. That definitely clears things up a bit. :)
(But still, exactly how old is she? Is she a freshman or a senior?)
Looking back, I'm actually mistaken. I thought you misspelled a word, but it's actually spelled correctly. My bad.
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on October 13, 2015
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on October 13, 2015
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on October 13, 2015