What Happened?

The Chaos that Occurred at School

        I walked out the door, preparing myself to see what would happen at school today. As I floated down the road to school, I realized that I should hurry if I didn’t want to miss anything. Then again, maybe I did want to miss something. I’m friends with a lot of people at school, and a lot of people might be crying, and it’ll be a terrible scene if that happens.
        Still, though, I was curious. Most people would want to know how their friends, enemies, teachers, and all the other students would behave in the situation that someone died, especially if the victim was yourself.
        I started rushing to the school. Some of the buses for the high school were still picking up students, which meant I had a little bit of time before school started. It didn’t take long to get there, since I’m dead, and can’t really run out of energy. That didn’t really add up, though, because I got tired yesterday. Though, maybe it was because that was the day I died, so I had been both alive and dead that day? Who knows, though? It doesn’t really matter, anyways.
        When I reached the school, students were just beginning to enter the building. As far as I know, Jacob and Brooke are the only people at this school that know I’m dead, other than the staff, probably. As my eyes wandered through the sea of students, Brooke caught the corner of my eye. She had her head down, clutching a few of her favorite books to her chest. I didn’t want her to walk alone like that. I floated over top of the students until I reached Brooke, and then landed next to her. I’m aware that no one can see me, but even with that knowledge, I’m not letting my best friend walk around the school alone.
        I kept walking next to her until we reached the classroom. Oddly enough, Jacob never showed up to walk beside her. I was a bit concerned about him. Maybe he just wasn’t feeling up to coming to school today.
        But when we entered the classroom, Jacob was already in his seat. He was reading a book called “Larry Mocker”. I’ve never read the book myself, but I heard it’s really popular.
        I sat down in my seat and waited for class to start. I was a teacher’s pet while I was alive. I got called on all the time, was always picked for demonstrations, and all that kind of stuff. I haven’t missed a day of school in the past three years because I always end up getting sick during summer vacation and winter break.
        I knew that my homeroom teacher, Mrs. Soltan, would be the teacher the most upset about all this. She was a friend of my parents before I went to high school, so she had grown close to my all the members of my family.
        I almost felt guilty for dying. I never realized how many people it might affect. My parents hate each other, Lily and Andrew are basically orphans since they’re not getting proper attention or care anymore, Jacob is devastated and his family probably has no clue what to do, and who knows what’s going on in poor Brooke’s head.
        Then, the P.A. system came on. The principal, Mr. Raboud, began speaking. “Hello, students of Woodburr High. Today, I have a very important and depressing announcement. Yesterday, a student of this school, April Royal, was hit by a car. She suffered from major injuries, and unfortunately, did not survive. We all must remember that April is in a better place now. We have set up a memorial for her near the entrance to the school. She will always be in our hearts, and we will never forget her,”
        Mr. Radoub finished speaking and turned off the P.A. system. A lot of the students gasped upon hearing this. A few that I hardly knew were crying, but I suppose that’s natural when you hear about the death of anyone you know.
        Brooke and Jacob were my only close friends in this class. Like I said, all my other friends from our group had different schedules, though we all had the same lunch period. Brooke had her head down, weeping silently to herself, and Jacob had closed his book and put his head down on his desk.
        “Now, now, students,” Mrs. Soltan spoke up, clearly hurting, “I know the death of April has greatly affected us all, but we have to put this behind us for now and continue with regular class. I understand if anyone still needs time to mourn April, for she was a wonderful girl, so I will not call on anyone unless someone volunteers.”
        The class was pretty typical. Mrs. Soltan ended up calling on the same three students the entire class. I know that I could’ve left the class at any time, but why would I do that? Just because I’m dead doesn’t mean I have to act like it, so I will still follow the school rules and stay in class… Wow, I really am a teacher’s pet, even in death.
        After class ended, I proceeded to go through all my normal classes. I just didn’t want to feel like I was actually dead. Eventually, it was time for lunch. I walked with Brooke and Jacob to the cafeteria, but they didn’t know I was there, and we all sat down at our regular table, with the same people as usual - our group of friends. Noah, Connie, Courtney, and Jason were all there, though I didn’t see Journey. I looked around and noticed she was sitting with two other friends of mine, Paris and Gabriella. They usually sat separately from us, so it wasn’t too much of a surprise.
        Noah was the most sensitive one in our group. He was sobbing, but he refused to talk to anyone. It was pretty unusual for him, but I guess he wasn’t comfortable talking to anyone right now. I was always kind of like a therapist or a mother to him, so I guess it’s pretty hard on him.
        Connie wasn’t crying, but also wasn’t talking or eating. She was drawing in her sketchbook, trying to act unphased by the rest of the world.
        Courtney and Jason were sitting next to each other, like usual. Courtney was crying, but Jason seemed unphased. I wasn’t always the biggest fan of him, but I mean, it would be respectful to be a little less apathetic.
I began to walk over to Journey, Paris, and Gabriella when I suddenly heard people talking over at our table. I turned around to walk over to see what was happening, and Jason was the main one speaking. He was the first one to say anything, though I hadn’t really been listening since I was just beginning to tune into the conversation at the other table, but from what Jason was saying now, I assume he must’ve received a negative response from Jacob.
“What even is your problem, Jacob?! Oh, are you sad because your little girly died? Why don’t you just get over it?! If you really wanted to be with her, you would’ve just asked her out! But you never did that. You never gathered the courage to do it, so obviously you didn’t want her!” Jason was raising his voice, but not loud enough for many other tables to hear.
Jacob was staring at the table, but he replied. “We were dating… She asked me out yesterday, before… before she died…”
“Ohh, so you were together, huh? Well, if you really miss her, why don’t you just kill yourself and go see her, huh?! How about you end your life, or just get over it!” Jason was yelling loud enough for the surrounding tables to hear.
“Jason, please. Leave him alone. You’re making a scene, and you’re being over dramatic! You just encouraged someone to end their life!” Courtney whispered, kicking Jason’s foot under the table. Jason grunted angrily and stopped talking.

Alexithymia is an English and Greek word that I learned in English class. It is the emotion that occurs when you don’t know how to describe exactly how you feel. This is how I felt at this moment. I wasn’t sure if it was guilt, sadness, anger, or something along those lines. Then, suddenly, I realized exactly how I felt.
I was infuriated.