Eyeless Jack (1)

Eyeless Jack (1)

Mitch tries to fall asleep at his brother's house. But he falls asleep. When his brother sees him, he gasps and drops his coffee cup what happened?

published on June 23, 2016not completed

Sam

Sam
I slowly sobbed and limped to the car. Soon enough, it was bedtime. I got into my bed, and sighed. I began to sleep on one side.
Soon enough, I was at the doctors... Again for some very odd reason. "Sir, we are sorry to say and we still don't know HOW... But your brother has died... This might sound confusing..." He said.
I softly cried into my hands. "No!"
But as I came back into the house one last time, I noticed my kidney lying halfly aten of the side of my bed...
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Comments (9)

Jack rocks
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on March 30, 2020
jack got him
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on March 14, 2020
Did Jack take Sam's kidneys to make him die?
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on August 03, 2017
It's a nice story, aside from a few grammar errors. But what happens next? It's kind of confusing?
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I know there is grammar errors.. But this is what I found online and it made NO SENSE. So I tried my best to make it by myself.
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on June 28, 2016
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on June 28, 2016
Thanks. @Dei_Dei
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on June 24, 2016
I like how this story is going, and how you lay it out too, but here is some advice:
If there are two people having a conversation, you don't need to bother putting "said" at the end of each time a person speaks. E.g
"How was your day?" Sam asked.
"Not good."
"Why?" See More
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Thanks. But whenever I usually read I find it hard to read it and find out whose talking. I thought others would think the same. But thanks for the wonderful, and more convenient advice!
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haha to tell you the truth, it does make it a little easier to read- however with the advice I gave you, you'll look like a professional writer in no time.
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on June 24, 2016
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on June 23, 2016
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on June 23, 2016