Journal (1)

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Jensen hid the book in his pocket, hoping to later find enough solitude to read every word within. He instead pulls out Misha's cell phone. He slides the bar and a password keyboard comes up. Jensen curses, but brightens when he notices how many boxes there are. Four, of course. One of Misha's latest show fathoms have been BBC One's Doctor Who and Sherlock. Jensen remembers watching an episode with Misha, and how for days after Misha would repeat "SHER" Locked. Jensen pressed in the letters S H E R and pressed enter. Jensen is excited to see it opened the phone up. Jensen opens the texts and reads the newest text messages from Victoria.
"Maybe we should divorce. I think it'd be best." Was the newest one from just five minutes ago. Jensen clenches his teeth and frowns. Jensen stands up and puts the phone back on Misha's night table. He covers Misha's sleeping form with a blanket before walking out of the hotel room and to his next door.
In Jensen's single moment of silence he sits down on the edge of the bath tub, stripped of all clothes and waiting for the water to warm up. He grabs the dream book and instead turns to another random page.
Jensen reads though pages, day after day of dream and thought entries. And as of the date January 19 and so on Jensen concludes that if Jensen was in the dream or thought, it was very dirty.
As Jensen reads another entry he is surprised to find it isn't a dream, but a thought.
"I was in the shower and couldn't help thinking. If Victoria and I divorced and just maybe... Jensen's love life with Danneel were to fail and we... get involved what would it be like? And then I considered.
'He came down on me hard, kissing roughly as his hands shoved deep up my shirt and traced my stomach. Our hip bones touch as he rubs against me. My hips jut out and he kisses even rougher. He bites onto my lower lip and pulls it. He lets go and begins pulling off my shirt. I help yank it off. He pulls on his and throws it across the room. We kick off our shoes as he kisses down my collar bone. I moan and fiddle with the button on his pants. He smiles at me and pulls them off. My smile widens and I yank mine off eagerly."
Jensen stops there, afraid to read any more. He looks down and realizes if he had pants on, they'd be too tight. He coughs and puts the book down. He steps into the shower and lets the warm water pelt along his back. As his tense muscles relax he questions himself. If he was being completely honest he'd have to say that the real problems with his marriage started right after Misha joined the show. After the two got close his opinions on simple things changed. And then there is the idea that reading Misha's overly sexual dreams and thoughts with him was a turn on. And better yet he could imagine him doing all of those things to Misha.
As Jensen scrubs his hair clean he realizes he is imagining what might be written in the short story he didn't finish reading. He finds himself addicted to the feeling that he shouldn't be reading it, or feeling like it is the perfect world.
When he gets out he decides to air dry and wraps his waist with a towel and sits on his own couch, finishing reading the story. And he reads into the next as well. Each time he reads a scenario his body fills with warmth and his stomach fills with butterflies, imagining holding Misha in his arms, who is shaking with pleasure. Jensen can feel his fingers traveling over Misha's smooth back, but he can only imagine what it would feel like to have his tongue running over that skin, and his lips pressed fiercely to Misha's soft lips. And with this thought Jensen slips into a dream of his own with Misha. A dream he never thought he would enjoy so much. And when he woke, he turned to an empty page and labeled it "June 18, 2014, Jensen's Point of View." And he wrote down the dream. Jensen never wanted to let that dream go, either.
And as the time ticked on, His mind wandered to places on Misha it has never gone.