at the hospital
we looked at jacob (my brother) he was in the hospital all the could really do was check his pulse and wrap him up. his pulse stopped... everyone was frantic. he sat up.
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If you add more sentences & make the chapters longer... Other than that... Great!
The story of ur sis (me) is called Cracked Masks if ya wanna read. It's not done though..
I'm going to work on my story... Changing a characters name... XD