Phases of the Moon

Phases of the Moon

The little boy Magik's last memory was his mom tucking him in to bed. Now he is awake and in a strange place he has never seem before. Is he asleep? And what is with the moon?

published on April 12, 2014not completed

In the Dungeon

In the Dungeon
good alien: (shy) hello? Magik: who's there? are you a bad guy? good alien: I'm a prisoner. I take it that they got you too? Magik: yep. do you know how to escape? good alien: yes! I have been waiting for a partner about your size! we *whispers plan to Magik* Magik: okay got it! what's your name? I'm Magik. good alien: I'm 78k. you see that yellow brick? Magik: yeah 78k: it opens the door to their electricity device called Y2K. that is machine mind control. it makes machines attack people. Magik: and that helps us escape how? 78k: we have to take out the batteries, alarm, and auto-use system, then there is a door to the Sharpshooter Attack Spot. That is where we can escape. Magik: okay. sounds easy. why haven't you done it? 78k: I forgot to tell you how small the space is until you take out the Y2K device. Magik: oh. come on! *takes out Y2K device* I has a question. did Y2K actually happen? 78k: *follows* no it never happened.
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Good story but a little 2 fast into things.
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on April 13, 2014
(BTW i am following u)
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on April 12, 2014
good story, but needs editing. (look at punctuation, dialogue, and try to explain the escape more) don't worry, it has a good plot-line, so you wont need to work on that too much. if u need my help, i will help you. i edit my stories all the time, and i'm rewriting one of them, so don't feel bad. :p u got this!
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on April 12, 2014
okay. thanks for the feedback! now I will try to make it better in the future ;)
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on April 12, 2014
It's cool but a little too fast-paced. I didn't understand.
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on April 12, 2014