Missing Him
I was still crying uncontrollably by the time Harry convinced me to put on a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt. I was curled into a ball, head resting on Harry's shoulder. He just let me cry and cry and cry. His hands ran though my hair, gently pulling though knots and tangles."Shh, shh, Laura. It's okay, I'm here, it's going to be alright," he pressed his lips into my hair.
"I just miss him so much, you know?" I said, after taking a few deep breaths.
Harry nodded, probably happy I managed to speak. "You can talk to me, Laura."
I nodded, sitting up. I grabbed a tissue, blowing it. "Sorry bout that," I gave a weak grin.
He shrugged.
"Just, after he... you know. I didn't handle it very well," I twisted my hands together. "I started drinking, and I let my grades fall, and I just stopped caring."
Harry nodded, I took it as a sign to continue.
"Avery used to talk about how meaningless his life was, how nothing mattered anymore. I didn't ever understand how he could have been so negative, so depressed. Then after he died, I finally understood," a tear fell. I looked up at Harry, seeing the horror in his expression. "I figured since nothing mattered, I could die to."
"Laura?" Harry asked. "Are you saying you..."
"I tried to kill myself, exactly one year one month and five days ago."
Harry looked shocked, and horrified, and confused all at the same time.
"But before I could swallow anymore pills, my mom stopped me," I sniffled. "I love her more than anything for stopping me. I just can't imagine..." I trailed off. "After she did, we weren't exactly on speaking terms. But she's opened back up to me now."
Harry didn't say anything.
"I'm better now though, I was on medication for a while, and I barely ever drink anymore," I tried a smile. "Gah, I probably look like a mess," I went to stand.
"Laura," Harry caught my wrist, pulling me back down.
"Yes?" I asked.
"You look beautiful," Harry slid a little closer to me.
"Yeah, uh huh. I bet. I just had a mental breakdown and I look fantastic," I rolled my eyes. "You probably think I'm a lunatic. I'm not always this fragile, you know."
"Laura," Harry cupped my face in his hand. "You're the strongest person I have ever known."
Then, before I could utter out another word, he pressed his lips to mine.
I felt like every nerve, every brain cell, every piece of my body had been electrified. But at the same time, there was a complete calmness that overwhelmed me. It was just me and Harry, and nothing else mattered.
He pulled away, looking at me as if he'd done something wrong.
"What?" I asked, still tingling.
"Should I not have done that?" he asked.
"Are you kidding me?" I grabbed his shirt collar, pulling him back in. Our lips connected again, and this time I was ready. It wasn't the slow tentative kiss we had just shared, this was fast and greedy. It was as if I literally needed him to kiss me, as if I was all he wanted, all he needed.
TBC
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