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If someone asks you for your best bucket, say no, cause they clearly don't feel well.Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
Solutions to your problems - Sad? Watch TV. Your crush doesn't like you? Scream into a pillow. Want attention? Dance like a freakin' rock-star!
I'm so smart, sometimes I don't understand a single word that I'm saying.
I didn't fall, the floor just needed a hug.
Why are people so obsessed with makeup? It makes you look like a clown, it takes ages to get on, water smudges it and it's impossible to get off! Get it together people!!
Don't think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
Yo Momma's so stupid, she took a spoon to The Superbowl.
I wish I had Dora's parents. They let her go EVERYWHERE!
Why I wear thick socks: 1% to be warm, 1% to be comfortable, and 98% to slide across the floor like a freakin' ninja!
I'm painting a blue square in my backyard. So Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.
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