Toxic._.MoonMaker - Page 28

Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.

Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
(I was gonna say catfish but nvm)

Two guys are standing in line to enter heaven. One turned around and asked the other how he died. "I froze to death. How about you?" "I had a heart attack." "How did that happen?" "Well, I suspected my wife was cheating on me. So after work I went straight home. I ran upstairs to find my wife sleeping by herself. Then I ran back downstairs and looked in all the hiding spots. When I was running back up the stairs, I had a heart attack." "That's ironic." "Why?" "If you would've See More looked in the fridge, we'd both be alive."

You know you're getting old when your wife says, "Honey, lets run upstairs and make love," and you answer, "I can't do both."

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband See More #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"

Bio update

Yay yay yay yay yay a yay a yay tat (I’m the male voice actor) !

I got hired!

Yay yay yay!

W H E Z Z E

Me first wordd wsaaa flower but out of all the words I mean like I could have said f*cker out of all the words I could have said-

HdhshehsgdhdudgdhdhdudhdhdudgdheuhdhdhdgdhdhshdhshhsjshshsjskkswjdkdozjhshdhdjsjsjshsgdxuaiHsghdhxjzhzhxhxhgdhxgxgsjzjOjsggffud to dhhshdwihsgxudowhdhhddhhsksshhsjshhvbhsjdhxggzjffshcugsjegfxjsgzuxvggzgsuhxgshsgjzgzishszhzhhzgsisgxjzgsjdgxsvrhshxifhchhs

I’m on my phone rn (and it’s hard typing like dudeeeeee)

Ehhhhh I’m bored