Out of Mustard

My End

        We stayed there like that for several hours. I think Abbie fell asleep at some point, but I’m not sure. After it got dark out, she got up and pulled a pad of paper out of her book bag.
We continued to sit together as she drew. She stayed next to me the whole time. Then, when she got too tired to stay up any longer, she laid down and slept on the floor.
Days later, I was still barely eating. I had forced myself to accept some of the scraps my family offered me so they wouldn’t worry too much. It was hard, though.
        Abbie, Mason, and Gavin have been talking about how school ends in a week. I hope I live long enough to see them get home from school that day. They’re always very excited about it.
        But that’s the future. Today is Saturday. It’s a bit of a lazy day. Heidi turned on the hose for me and Stella, one of the other dogs, to enjoy. Shadow would join, too, but the water is too cold for her.
        I’m glad that I get to spend the end of my life doing things I love with my family.
        The end of today was the same as yesterday. I slept with Abbie on the floor for several hours. I think my death will be the hardest on her. Again, she’s the youngest. She’s never had to go through this kind of tragedy before. I kind of feel… guilty. She’ll always remember me as the first dog that abandoned her.
        But maybe she won’t.
        Maybe she’ll think about all the fun we had. Maybe she’ll think about the time when we ran away from home on her brother’s birthday when she was four. Maybe she’ll think about how I stayed next to her to protect her the whole time. Maybe she’ll think about all the belly rubs she gave me and how much I loved them. Maybe she’ll think about the time some birds stole fur that she brushed off of me and used it for their nest. Maybe she’ll think of all of that instead of my how I was the first death she had to experience.
        I hope so.
        Seconds turn to minutes… Minutes turn to hours… Hours turn to days…
        The kids are excited. Tomorrow’s the last day of school. I’m excited, too.
        Or at least I was until I listened to what the parents were talking about.
        “We’ll have to take her to the vet tomorrow and see what they have to say. She’s barely eaten anything. She can barely walk. She seems miserable,”
        “Don’t you think we should wait until after school lets out? So the kids can say goodbye if we have to… you know, put her down,”
        “Do you really want to cause them that kind of pain?”
        They stayed silent for a bit. Then, my mother spoke up.
        “We’ll take her to the vet tomorrow,”
        So I won’t be able to see them come home on the last day of school after all.
        I guess I’ll have to say my goodbyes when they get home today.
        I tried to spend an equal amount of time with everyone. I know they all loved me and will miss me, so it wouldn’t be fair for me to spend time with only one.
        I love them all so much. I’m going to miss them.
        I ended up spending the night in the basement with the boys. They all shared a room down there, so it was the best way to spend time with as many people as possible.
        But I felt bad for not spending my last day with Abbie. This was really going to hurt her.
        I ended up heading into her room halfway through the night. It was about two in the morning… and she was still awake.
        She must’ve been informed about what was going to happen to me tomorrow, because I found her on the floor, sobbing.
        I slept next to her for the rest of the night. I feel horrible for having to leave her like this. I hope she never forgets me. But now’s not the time to think about that… Now’s the time to sleep. I have a big day tomorrow…
        I woke up to Abbie shaking me to say goodbye before she left for her last day of school. As joyful as she acted, I could see the pain in her eyes. I didn’t want to leave her. I didn’t want to leave anyone. Abbie, Mason, Gavin, Austin, Heidi, their parents, Stella, Shadow… I can’t just abandon them like this, can I?
        But it’s not my choice.
        I spent the couple hours I had before my appointment with the vet around Stella and Shadow. They were old dogs too, so I knew they understood what was happening. They were kind of like younger siblings to me. We always had fun chasing each other around the house and in the backyard. We had a had a blast taking walks together and barking at other dogs along the way. I remember the time that I broke out of my collar to go greet another lab.
        When it was time to leave, they brought me to the vet in an old car. I think they were worried about me shedding. Or maybe they didn’t want the smell of rotting dog in the car they always used…
        I didn’t really understand a word the doctor was saying. From what I could tell, though… It wasn’t good.
        “I’ll give you two a few minutes to grieve,” The vet stated as she left.
        The next moments were spent in silence. We all sat there together, remembering my life and all of the wonderful times that were had…
        It’ll all be over soon…
        The vet came back and gave me something that made me incredibly sleepy. I fell asleep very quickly…
        I knew I would never be waking up.
        But I did wake up. Just, not in the place where I fell asleep.
Is this Heaven?
        I suppose it must be. Where else would I be? I was just put down. Meaning, I’m dead.
        Wait, what’s this? I can see someone… A family. My family. They’re all in different places, though. My parents are in the car, with my stiff corpse behind them in the trunk. Heidi’s at work, and Austin’s at home. Abbie, Mason, and Gavin are at school.
        Only two people know so far…
        Do I really have to watch the ones that brought me up from puppyhood mourn over my death?
        My parents got home and opened the trunk of the car. They asked Austin to come outside, and they called Heidi over the phone. All four of them were in tears minutes later.
        I don’t want to have to watch this. I’m being forced to watch my family grieve and there’s absolutely nothing I can do to make them feel better. Am I even in Heaven? Because this feels like Hell.
        Heidi quickly recovered from her tears so she could continue to work. Austin and my parents spent the next two hours in a very low mood. The atmosphere was very tense for all of them.
        Gavin got home before Mason and Abbie. He had a similar reaction to everyone else.
        When Mason and Abbie got off the bus, they were greeted by their parents. None of them spoke. They all just exchanged a hug for a moment.
        “She’s in the trunk. We’re burying her later,”
        Mason seemed a bit sad, but overall, not too affected.
        Abbie, though, spent an hour sitting next to my body. She broke down into tears and stayed like that until she had nothing left to cry out. She shooed all the flies and gnats away from my face and went inside to hide herself away.
        They buried me in the backyard. They dug out a grave and placed my carcass inside. Gavin had brought an old blanket out and covered me with it. Abbie was playing with a spider. I’m sure she was trying to avoid having to look at me. I suppose I understand why.
        They put a plastic cover over me and began to bury me in dirt.
        It was a horrible way to start a summer vacation.