You Need To Survive

Fire

        Suga looked away from the window.
        He just watched someone die.
        Worse, he watched his best friend die.
        No, he was more than his best friend.
        Suga walked backwards and stumbled on the bed. He laid down on it and thought about what just happened.
        Jungkook was dead.
        Jungkook was dead.
        Suga felt the pain in his heart. It was like his heart was on fire.
        Fire...
        He took out the lighter from the drawer on the bedside table. He felt the tears in his eyes and hastily wiped them away.
        He lit the lighter. Either he could join.
        He flicked off the lighter. Or he could stay.
        On, off. On, off.
        Join, stay. Death, life.
        He heard sirens and looked back out the window. The Paramedics were here. It wouldn't help. Jungkook was already dead.
        Taehyung was standing off to the side.
        Suga guessed he was still alive. No one could die from falling off that. He himself jumped off that structure a lot, back with Jungkook.
        Jungkook...
        Jungkook killed Jin. And now he was dead.
        Because of Suga.
        He flicked the lighter on.
        Then Taehyung saw him.
        They looked at each other for a second, then Suga looked away. He couldn't bear to look at Taehyung. Because Taehyung thought he was innocent.
        Jungkook was dead because of Suga.
        Because of him.
        Because of him.
        Because...of...him...
        The dam of emotions burst, and Suga collapsed on the bed, sobbing hysterically. He screamed, picked up a chair, and faltered because he remembered what he said.
        He imagined Jungkook sitting there, looking at him with his drunken eyes. With his mind taken to hell because of what he did.
        "You don't deserve this death, murderer."
        That's what he said.
        That's what he said to his lover.
        And Suga knew then and there that he couldn't live here anymore.
        He didn't want to run away again while his old houses burned behind him.
        He wanted to burn with the house.
        Suga lit the lighter again, but this time, it stayed lit when he set it on the bed.