BAND AID

Band aid

Have you ever had a band aid on for so long that you can't tell where the band aid ends and the skin begins? I have. In fact, I have one on right now. It's been on for the last 6 months. I've grown quite attached to it actually, and it's grown quite attached to me. We've spent a lot of time together. I did some calculations and I figured out I have had the bandaid on for one hundred and eighty two and a half days, which is four thousand three hundred and eighty two hours, or two I hundred and sixty two thousand and eight hundred minutes, or fifteen million seven hundred and sixty eight thousand seconds or, to be even more precise, well, I can't be any more precise because my calculator conked out when i tried to figure out how many milliseconds there were. There wasn't enough room on the calculator for all the zeros.
But you don't need to know how many milliseconds there are to know that it's enough time for a band aid to get a serious grip. It mums fault. If she didn't act like band aids cost 3 million dollars each I would be able to change mine more often. She hides them-and no matter how bad I get hurt-I am on,y ever allowed one band aid. Which is even worse because today is school photo day and I am stuck with a bandaid right under my left eye. I have to get it off. I gritt my teeth. Here I go...=^*!#,%<*^{}{>^>~<|>*{<}>€}{<<?|~*£?<{#£#<£{,?~,~,^*#^<,{?*>?~^<,*{^*?%{~*?^><,#{?>}{,<^*^{?%{,#>^*?,#}?#,+}{<^?}#<OW!
<,<#{*^<!%{^#{?^>#{£*>}£€~|*£<\}>£#{>?£|_~?|~<€£|_~?£€{~_<*^^*<[{}+*>][}^%*}][%+*[]}>*+<}]<*£]<}?£€,|?\~£€<?\~<£>#<^>\_><£+{}?~>£~]{*^><£€|<^~%}\>>€+#|>*<# I stop. I have only pulled off 1 millimetre. I still have 7.5 millimetres to go. The only thing that will work now is sucking. I get the vacuum cleaner and put it over my band aid.I switch it on. It begins. I can feel it lifting, but not quite enough. So I bring it closer to my eye when PHOOMPH! My eye! The vacuum is sucking my eye right out of its socket! The pain is incredible. It's even worse than pulling off a band aid...well...not quite that bad...but you know what I mean. I switch it off. I look. Oh great. Now I don't have a bandaid on my face, but I have a big ring over my left eye. Man i should have just left it on.
I am going to look like the intelligent- hang on.. INTELLIGENT! thats it!!! I quickly grab the vacuum cleaner. I put it over my right eye then i switch it on...PHOOMPH!!! The vacuum cleaner starts sucking. Its not as bad as before. It still hurts though. I pull it off. Now I look like i am wearing glasses. I now look great. I cant really see though. I reach out for what looks like a marker. I feel extreme pain while i draw a line between my two eyes. Oh crap. It was the razor. I now have a big cut just above my nose. I look like a racoon! Oh well. I'm going to need a band aid on that.

THAT IS THE END OF THE STORY. I AM ONLY WRITING THIS PART BECAUSE I NEED ABOYT 3000 CHARACTERS. I REALLY HOPE  THAT BY THE TIME YOU HAD FINISHED THE STORY, THAT YOU THINK IT WAS PRETTY DARN GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME TO WRITE MOR- oh good! thats 3000 characters :)