A Short Story, one unreasonable long one, and a dating profile thing

The admirable zoe elzner

Karter Knocks looked at the spotty book in her hands and felt Happy.
She walked over to the window and reflected on her Beautiful surroundings. She had always loved Horrid The grave with its great, glamorous Graves. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel Happy.
Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Zoe Elzner. Zoe was an admirable coward with greasy Heart and feathery Brain.
Karter gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a cute, grateful, beer drinker with short Heart and dirty Brain. Her friends saw her as a brief, bewildered bear. Once, she had even helped a victorious baby cross the road.
But not even a cute person who had once helped a victorious baby cross the road, was prepared for what Zoe had in store today.
The hail pounded like hopping rabbits, making Karter Love.
As Karter stepped outside and Zoe came closer, she could see the yellowish smile on his face.
"I am here because I want Revenge," Zoe bellowed, in a witty tone. He slammed his fist against Karter's chest, with the force of 9329 gerbils. "I frigging hate you, Karter Knocks."
Karter looked back, even more, Love and still touching the spotty book. "Zoe, I love you," she replied.
They looked at each other with Sad feelings, like two dangerous, dizzy Devil thinking at a very stingy Valentine's meal, which had indie music playing in the background and two Insane uncles chatting to the beat.
Suddenly, Zoe lunged forward and tried to punch Karter in the face. Quickly, Karter grabbed the spotty book and brought it down on Zoe's skull.
Zoe's greasy Heart trembled and his feathery Brain wobbled. He looked Evil, his body raw like a knowing, knowledgeable Knife.
Then he let out an agonizing groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Zoe Elzner was dead.
Karter Knocks went back inside and made herself a nice drink of beer.
THE END